What is your take on "I love you, but I'm not In love with you"

neneromanova

Oh it's not just that book picklekin there's

1. I heart New York, then
2. I heart Hollywood, then
3. I heart Paris, then
4. I heart Vegas, and finally
5. I heart London

neverdespairgirl

I think it usually means, "I'm shagging someone else. Sorry."

picklekin

Ha ha! I wonder if any of them are hanging around in the break room!

miss_independent

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

I think it usually means, "I'm shagging someone else. Sorry."

Not always....

Sometimes it means, "I haven't yet, but there is someone I'd really much rather shag than you. Sorry."

Not that I'm speaking from personal experience or anything .

FBaby

thistledome wrote: »

Just kidding...:whistle:

I don't think you are kidding

pinkshoes

To be "in love" with someone is the bit that requires the continuous effort, so it basically means "I can't be arsed to put any effort into our relationship any more"...

(... because I've found someone else I'd like to play with)

rachbc

Its a cop out way of saying I don't love you whilst trying not to hurt someones feelings

System

loulou26 wrote: »

Do you think you can get it back once it has gone?

Depends on how much water has gone under the bridge so to speak. How many resentments have crept in and whats happened to make you feel this way.

FBaby

rachbc wrote: »

Its a cop out way of saying I don't love you whilst trying not to hurt someones feelings

I don't know. I think if you take the cynical approach out of the equation, I think some people who find themselves in that category are actually feeling quite lost.

It is hard if you've been together for say 20 years, built a lot of memories of good times, shared the most amazing moments together, supported each other through difficult times, have been comforted in the familiarity of each other, it is very hard to give all that up because you are finding yourself not in love with your partner any longer. I think many women and men don't know what to do in these circumstances and I personally think this is what leads many to having affairs. They genuinely still love their partner for the above reasons, but are finding themselves not attracted to them any longer. Comes along one who they do find attractive (attractive to talk to, to look at, to have fun with etc...), they lose all perspective. Some will choose love if they are given the chance, others will take the plunge....and then some will regret it because they realise that love is a much stronger feeling than 'being in love'.

I personally would find it very difficult if I suddenly didn't feel in love with my man any longer. I would hate myself for feeling that way and would beg to experience that feeling again. I would feel even more gutted if he ever felt this way. As someone wrote already, it takes efforts to stay in love. I know what made my man fall in love with me, and I will do my best to keep these traits alive as much as possible. I believe he will also endeavour to do so to keep the flame going.

meritaten

to put it bluntly - it means the lust has gone, leaving only the love. some people can and do live quite happily with that.