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What is your take on "I love you, but I'm not In love with you"

neneromanova
neneromanova Posts: 3,051 Forumite
Part of the Furniture Photogenic Combo Breaker
in Marriage, relationships & families
DH and I were talking last night. I mentioned a book I was reading and asked him what he thought "I love you, but I'm not In love with you" meant. He had a good think and came back with something cute. But I still don't really understand it.

How can you love someone but not be in love with them? What's your take on it people :)

P.S We both love each other/are in love with each other, it was the the book that got me thinking :rotfl:
What's yours is mine and what's mine is mine..
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Comments

  • aileth
    aileth Posts: 2,822 Forumite
    I would say it'd be like love someone as a friend but not romantically.

    In other words, if you were in a relationship and someone said that, "Danger, danger, Will Robinson!"
  • tiger_eyes
    tiger_eyes Posts: 1,006 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker Debt-free and Proud!
    My translation: "I no longer have any romantic feelings for you. Our relationship is over." :p
  • samtoby
    samtoby Posts: 2,438 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker PPI Party Pooper
    I love my partner and I am in love with him.

    I love my son but I am not in love with him.

    There are all sorts of love.

    But I agree with the relationship point.
    3 Children - 2004 :heart2: 2014 :heart2: 2017 :heart2:
    Happily Married since 2016
  • neneromanova
    neneromanova Posts: 3,051 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Photogenic Combo Breaker
    aileth wrote: »
    I would say it'd be like love someone as a friend but not romantically.

    In other words, if you were in a relationship and someone said that, "Danger, danger, Will Robinson!"

    Yeah, in the book she'd just caught her fiance in the back of the car at a wedding reception doing his tennis partner and they were apparently "serious" when he said this.

    I personally think that that saying is just a cop out for !!!!, I've been caught. A bit like the other thread "I need some space"
    What's yours is mine and what's mine is mine..
  • hgotsparkle
    hgotsparkle Posts: 1,282 Forumite
    Thats the reason I split up with my ex - I loved him, but I just wasn't in love with him any more.I had a family sort of love for him, not a romantic love.
  • System
    System Posts: 178,371 Community Admin
    10,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    hgotsparkle wrote: »
    Thats the reason I split up with my ex - I loved him, but I just wasn't in love with him any more.I had a family sort of love for him, not a romantic love.

    I see it like that too.
    This is a system account and does not represent a real person. To contact the Forum Team email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
  • Metranil_Vavin
    Metranil_Vavin Posts: 5,025 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture
    It's a nice way of telling someone you don't fancy them anymore.

    A bit like 'it's not you, it's me' which I always think is one of the biggest, laziest cop outs going!
    Metranil dreams of becoming a neon,
    You don't even take him seriously,
    How am I going to get to heaven?,
    When I'm just balanced so precariously..
  • marisco_2
    marisco_2 Posts: 4,261 Forumite
    When someone says that phrase I think it means that the person they are with doesn't make them feel the way they used to, and that they are not enjoying the relationship any more and don't wish to continue being in it. They still consider their partner to be a nice person who they respect, but they are holding out for someone where there is no fading effect and where things will be easy, fun and great between them.
    The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own, no apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on or blame. The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.
  • Valli
    Valli Posts: 25,564 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Nothing to add really...some wise words here.
    Don't put it DOWN; put it AWAY
    "I would like more sisters, that the taking out of one, might not leave such stillness" Emily Dickinson
    :heart:Janice 1964-2016:heart:

    Thank you Honey Bear
  • purple.sarah
    purple.sarah Posts: 2,517 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    It is a confusing phrase but given that it's normally used as a break up line I think it means you care about someone but no longer want to be in a relationship with them.
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