Overweight child and its all my fault - bit long ...sorry!

Kimitatsu

I have two boys, one who can eat the earth and not put on an ounce of fat and the other who is like his mother and may as well slap it on his thighs and cut out the middle man!

The thing we found that has made a huge impact in a short period of time was having him food tested. Cows milk and a list of fruit as long as your arm came back, along with additives and preservatives. As he has geographical tongue I was always lenient with the fruit anyway, but cutting out the coes milk products has made him lose excess weight steadily. We did it via a kinesiologist (sp?) which was non invasive and if you go to one of the shows where they exhibit they do it for around £10 (bargain tbh).

It made a huge difference to him, and he now has more energy to be able to run around and enjoy himself with his friends.

Please also remember that teenage years are hard whatever your shape, to be seen to "fit in" is upermost in every childs mind. I know when I think back to the figure I had pre children I wondered what I ever worried about! Giving her the self confidence to be herself is the most important thing, whatever her dress size, and she will change body shape quite dramatically over the next couple of years as the hormones really kick in.

Kimitatsu

Ivrytwr3 wrote: »

I think my child may end up in the same situation; over weight. She is only 1 years old now, but after eating her meal she will take off other peoples plates. Also if she has her meal and we eat later she is like abegging dog around the table and we end up feeding her again from our plates.

She is getting proper portions for her meal and then yogurt or pudding after; is this normal for a 1 year old to be constantly filling her face?!

(she isn't overweight at the minute, but i can see if she continues in this way she soon will be).

If she is not overweight at the moment then I would suggest she is going on a growth spurt if she is that hungry. My two always grow more in the summer than the winter (thank goodness shorts are rarely too short :rolleyes: )

You will find that they go in fits and starts with eating and you will be just as worried when she just picks at her food! If you are really concerned then offer her fruit rather than food off your plate.

rchddap1

If both of you want to lose weight then the best this is to work together on this. Look at meals together, do some sports together .... or go for a walk / run together.
Set targets for weight loss and award a little pressie when that target is reached (both you and her). She can do it, but as said before its all about a permanent lifestyle change and all the necessary encouragement to get there. There's no point in losing weight...to just pile it back on again by going back to the old ways.
Another comment. I don't know if she has reached puberty to not...but if she hasn't this change could take the weight off for her. This is what happened to me. Of course it isn't the same for everyone.

se999

Just thought on the french fries front, have you seen the oven baked crisps in the shops. Lots of companies are doing them, I think the walkers ones are suitable for vegetarians. They're lower fat and calories than normal crisps.

Edit - It's nice at times to have a bag of crisps etc like everyone else at lunch time.

TracySouth

Kimitatsu wrote: »

Please also remember that teenage years are hard whatever your shape, to be seen to "fit in" is upermost in every childs mind. I know when I think back to the figure I had pre children I wondered what I ever worried about! Giving her the self confidence to be herself is the most important thing, whatever her dress size, and she will change body shape quite dramatically over the next couple of years as the hormones really kick in.

I think the teenage years have kicked in already!! (started when she was about 7 lol:rotfl: ) I do try to boost her confidence, she really likes shopping and has a lot of say in her clothes but I wont let her wear anything I dont think would suit her which Im not sure is a good thing or bad thing. she is quite grown up for her 12 years and has developed her own style of dressing which I am happy to let her continue. Although she would like to wear some of the clothes her friends wear she would still have her own style but like what she sees in the mirror. no matter how much i say she looks nice, hair is nice etc etc Im not sure she really believes me as she says its a mum's job to say nice things about your daughter!

TracySouth

se999 wrote: »

Just thought on the french fries front, have you seen the oven baked crisps in the shops. Lots of companies are doing them, I think the walkers ones are suitable for vegetarians. They're lower fat and calories than normal crisps.

the french fries she has are the walkers one which are lower in fat and calories. She tends to have those or quavers which also are low in fat.

TracySouth

rchddap1 wrote: »

Another comment. I don't know if she has reached puberty to not...but if she hasn't this change could take the weight off for her. This is what happened to me. Of course it isn't the same for everyone.

she has reached puberty....about 6 months ago. Afriend of a friend is a child dietician (or something like that) and she said once she hits puberty she will find it harder to lose any excess weight so Im really confused.

angela110660

Gingernutmeg wrote: »

It's great that you want to help your daughter but can I just share my own experiences which may be a bit of a warning too?

I was always made to feel very, very guilty about the way I looked, and I was allowed to feel that somehow my mum and family would 'love me more' if I was thin.
My grandparents were especially vocal about this.
All I really wanted was more support at home - healthier meals, help making better food choices, someone who would go out for a walk with me.
School sports are not the best thing for an overweight pre-teen/teen girl. Having to wear skimpy clothes is hellish and communal showers are a terrible experience for those who look a little different. Your daughter might be associating this with all kinds of sports and so might not want to try anything because of it, but might she like to try something less competitive or school based?
It's difficult being overweight as a child and of course it needs addressing, but please be careful how you do this and think about the tone you adopt with your daughter and the messages you're sending to her. Help her, but don't make it a big issue.

I chose the above sentiments because they struck home with me. I still struggle with my weight in my 40s but I feel more comfortable with myself than in my teens and twenties.
My daughter (age 10) has always eaten well and still does - fruit, veg,home made meals. For the whole family, biscuits and crisps are a treat now - we changed our shopping habits. She is active - swims, plays in school netball team, comes out for family walks etc. Nevertheless, she is still not a skinny beanpole BUT neither were her brothers at this age. Now they are in their late teens, they are both slim and trim and very active. As long as she keeps up the exercise in her life, she will keep trim too - something, I never did and regret however, I think I am more physically active now than I ever was. Ensure your daughter can move more - its the exercise that makes the difference.

Kimitatsu

TracySouth wrote: »

I think the teenage years have kicked in already!! (started when she was about 7 lol:rotfl: ) I do try to boost her confidence, she really likes shopping and has a lot of say in her clothes but I wont let her wear anything I dont think would suit her which Im not sure is a good thing or bad thing. she is quite grown up for her 12 years and has developed her own style of dressing which I am happy to let her continue. Although she would like to wear some of the clothes her friends wear she would still have her own style but like what she sees in the mirror. no matter how much i say she looks nice, hair is nice etc etc Im not sure she really believes me as she says its a mum's job to say nice things about your daughter!

Its never easy being a mum! :rotfl:

And no I dont think you are in the wrong for not letting her wear certain stuff - she would be more embarrassed if she went out wearing stuff that really did nothing for her and she got teased.

If she is content and happy in her own skin then you are doing it right! Naturally we all worry and if she wants to lose weight then you are doing the right thing in supporting her to do it slowly and sensibly rather than crash dieting and starving herself.

All you can do, is what you are doing, keep up with the excercise, see if you can find her a sport which she likes no matter how off the wall ( at the age of 11 I went kayaking and adored it - Mum and Dad never saw that one coming!!) and keep the channels of communication open.

As long as she is always talking to you about how she is feeling then you are doing ok :T

isualive

To TracySouth:D

My son is Autistic and aged 13. He is 5ft 5" and 8 stone. I'm so pleased because he weighed 8 stone when he was just 8 years old. I felt so guilty and a terrible parent. My GP wasn't much support, but he did test him for Prader-Willi Syndrome as he was always hungry. It came back clear. My older children have always been slim, as i am and he really stood out. Children were calling him names "fat boy loner" etc and it broke my heart.

Even now the way to his heart is through his stomach.

I learnt to say no when he wanted more and threw out the chip pan. He was a very fussy eater, refused sweets as he didn't like the texture, but loved cakes. Hated eggs, hated fish etc. It was a steep learning curve for us all but we are all still learning, even trying to grow vegtables in the garden, baking bread etc.

For a while he hated it, and me, but it worked. We do have treats at weekends and chips occasionally on holiday from the chippie. I've also refused to buy white bread, crisps, chocolate, cake etc and switched to skimmed milk. I've had to be cruel to be kind, so strict at times.

I've also cut down on cheese and I have started to read labels and do alot more homebaking. He loves to be involved in cooking and it has taught him alot. He is also now more willng to try new foods.


My heart does got out to you, I've been there and what a struggle it is. Good luck with it. Thinking of you.