Overweight child and its all my fault - bit long ...sorry!

pinkshoes

Could you take up a new active activity together, like swimming, trampolining or long walks together?

If she's uncomfortable about her size and that's preventing her doing sport, then you need to set her an examply to show her that you're not uncomfortable doing sport, so she shouldn't be. (even if you do feel daft, try not to, and be confident).

pavlovs_dog

you need to get active to help her shift the weight. its something that will benefit the whole family if you do it together.

go to the park and play, run, ride bikes, swim. do you have space for a trampoline? you'd be amazed at the energy you use up on one of those things!

savagevixen

pinkshoes wrote: »

Could you take up a new active activity together, like swimming, trampolining or long walks together?

If she's uncomfortable about her size and that's preventing her doing sport, then you need to set her an examply to show her that you're not uncomfortable doing sport, so she shouldn't be. (even if you do feel daft, try not to, and be confident).

We got the kids a 12 ft trampoline with surround. It is wicked fun, we got a TP one from the Early Learning Centre witha 20% off code (£350 down to £280) I know it sounds like a lot but it is the only toy that they have ever used that is worth the money it cost! We bought this because it can support weights of up to 15stone and I knew everyone would want ago. Some of the cheaper ones are less 'taught' and designed for lighter weights.
It is fab (tones my cr*ppy pelvic floor) and a ten minute bounce and your are exhausted and out of breath! It's fun exercising! We bought the surround as (I was scared) son is nuts on it and would certainly be in hospital if we had not!
It's great to put the baby in when I hang the washing out too;)

Sharifa_2

Can you get her involved with the cooking? Her diet doesn't look too bad compared to a typical teen diet, but you might want to encourage her to eat more fruit and veg: salads, stirfries etc.

ktb

don't stress.. you can help her turn this around!! But you have to get her active...

Recently I remember hearing that the key to getting and staying slim isn't diet but very much how active you are. A kid can eat junk but if they are very active most likely will just burn it off and not gain too much weight. If they aren't moving about much then anything they eat, especially if they are big already, is just going to add to the problem.

Are you an active person? Kids do learn by example... perhaps if you can do some activities together she might feel more encouraged!?

Good luck...

Gingernutmeg

It's great that you want to help your daughter but can I just share my own experiences which may be a bit of a warning too?

I was an overweight child from the age of about five. I was in the exact same situation as your daughter too, having a brother who was super-thin. I was always made to feel very, very guilty about the way I looked, and I was allowed to feel that somehow my mum and family would 'love me more' if I was thin. My grandparents were especially vocal about this. I'm not saying that you're doing this, but just from reading your post I felt that there was something of an accusatory tone when you were talking about your daughter - you feel that she's not applying her willpower to loosing weight, you say that she only wants to loose weight 'in a way' which suggests that you think she's not trying ... I don't mean to be rude but at the end of the day, you can only help your daughter, you can't *make* her loose weight. Of course there are health issues associated with being overweight but this has to be something that your daughter has to address for herself. Just thinking of my own experiences, it was hugely embarrassing and humiliating to be dragged to the doctors because of my weight, and perhaps made me more conscious (and more defiant?) about the issue. The same went for diet clubs.

All I really wanted was more support at home - healthier meals, help making better food choices, someone who would go out for a walk with me. I didn't want every mouthful I ate being watched and analysed, and criticised - it's not a comfortable way to live in your own home. It led to some serious issues with food that I'm only now really starting to deal with properly. I'm NOT saying here that you're doing this to your daughter, but please, please be careful about the way you deal with this - never ever let your daughter feel that her weight makes her less of a person and you'd prefer it if she was thin, and please be careful how you address food with her. If you start depriving her of certain kinds of foods, or making her feel like what she eats is being watched, it could lead to all kinds of problems.

School sports are not the best thing for an overweight pre-teen/teen girl. Having to wear skimpy clothes is hellish and communal showers are a terrible experience for those who look a little different. Your daughter might be associating this with all kinds of sports and so might not want to try anything because of it, but might she like to try something less competitive or school based? I loved dancing, for example, so I did that. Does your local swimming pool run women-only sessions? Your daughter might feel more comfortable there and swimming is great exercise. Walking is good too - it's something you can both do together and there's no pressure to wear certain clothes or be the first to finish lol.

I really don't mean to accuse anyone of anything by writing this - I just wanted to share my own experiences. It's difficult being overweight as a child and of course it needs addressing, but please be careful how you do this and think about the tone you adopt with your daughter and the messages you're sending to her. Help her, but don't make it a big issue.

TracySouth

Thanks for all your great replys...Elle your one bought tears to my eyes. I do eat heathly but i also eat cr*ppy food too and I think it is a case of portion control and the biggest thing is excercise.....she is just not getting enough! I think I have been a bit stumped with what to feed her as regards vegetarian, i do make a lot of meals from scratch but with vegetarian i think pasta sauce was about my limit and didnt want her to have too much carbs. I also have a son who is such a finnicky eater mealtimes can sometimes be a real headache.

Once again you guys have been great and although i think I knew what needs doing seeing the suggestions in black and white will spur me on. I will definately be suggesting getting our bikes out and going for walks, great now the longer evenings are here. We have a holiday in october with our friends and their daughter is my dd best friend so I guess she has an incentive there.

I am going over to old style to look at the vegetarian thread.

TracySouth

Gingernutmeg thanks for your reply. i do understand what you are saying and I try really hard not give her any hang ups about food. What I meant was she has had fantastic will power over not eating meat but when it comes to food she always seems to want something else after her meal and I have asked her on occasions does she really need anything else and offer her yogurt or fruit but she doesnt want that. I was an overweight child and Im overweight now and I remember the teasing I had from my brother. Sometimes I just want to cry as I love her dearly but just want to see her happy, inside and out and feel that she is always going to be like this

MRSMCAWBER

Hi there tracysouth

Dont beat yourself up....your helping your little one now..that is the main thing

i went on my first diet at about 13..with my doctors ok!....and i have been on and off a rotten diet ever since...im 35 now -and am i slim....no..im still "well upholstered" and "built for comfort not for speed" LOL - and its only recently that i have that "doh" moment where i have realised that its the little changes that all ad up, so i am now losing weight without being fixated on food....If i was you i wouldnt even mention to your little one the word "diet" i would try and up her activitiy levels - easier said than done i know...and just make sneaky swaps to her food - perhaps she would like a bit of special time with her mum..a bit of a walk in the evening or weekends (whenever you can fit in)...or would she rollerskate in the park with you?-you dont have to rollerskate ....unless you feel like it :-)

As for food does she like quorn? only a lot of that range is really low..they do sausages -1point if your a WW -see it never goes away :-)...they do burgers that are 1 i believe, dippers etc...just so she can still have the same stuff as her friends....and she would probably enjoy making pizza...spread the base with xtra light philli...or an own brand (cheaper)..add what veggies she likes and you can get away with little or no cheese on as the philli has so much flavour...
also how about making smoothies and freezing into lollies...extra fruit and yumy...you can also stir on yogurt for xtra calcium...if you like i will trawl through all my cook books n mags and dig out some recipes for you (let me know what she wont eat)..that she may like..
just another thought (you have me started now LOL ..i have a pretty good idea what you and she are going through)....does she take a packed lunch??? is there any chance that her friends are sharing with her???

and as a final thing...nothing to do with food...until recently i made my own jewellery...i still have some left...and would love to send your wee one a few bits...so she can have something the other girls dont have..and just as a bit of a "pick me up" for the little sweetie...if thats ok with you please drop me a message privately and i will sort her some out...regards jill

just wanted to add tracysouth....
i was a veggie for years,,,and still eat a lot of veggie stuff...and qualified as a chef when i was 17 (see its food again ;-)....if you let me know what everyone will and wont eat too im sure i can come up with some things for you to try....

savagevixen

(and also Vitaimin B12 which is ONLY found in meat products or fortified cereal like Rice Crispies etc).

It is also found in yeast extracts, like Marmite-which I put in cooking and down the kids throats on toast. My son has Aspergers and a crazy diet, so I recently requested a full blood test, this came back fine, so he is getting all the nutrients he needs.
A full blood count would be helpful in your daughters case, to check everything. If its her choice to become vegetarian, it is very important for her to be actively involved in her diet and what she needs to get from where. I joined the vegetarian society and became a pro-active green/anti animal abuse sort of kid. Obviously sweets and desserts with gelatine are out, but dependant on her reason for becoming vegetarian, perhaps she will be very interested in fair trade and oragnic, naturally grown foodstuffs, anything that can encourage her to take an interest in widening her nutrtion intake and getting active.