Blast from the Past

Gavin83

Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »

Eh - so why do people ask for references then?

Of course it's legal to 'add' personal information to an interview process...that's the point of the [STRIKE]interview[/STRIKE] recruitment process.

Theres a difference between someones ability in the workplace and a character trait someone had as a child. A reference would only detail someones ability at the job, you wouldn't mention something negative in regards to their personal life. For example you wouldn't write "Good at the job but they were married to my sister and had an affair and therefore I wouldn't hire them".

1886 wrote: »

She has a very good relationship with her boss and they've actually decided to give the guy the job. However, her boss said that if at anytime there's any problems etc. he'll be gone straightaway.

Personally, I would'nt have given him the job, why risk making yourself feel self conscious etc. especially at a job you really enjoy. I guess I'm just not a very forgiving person and my friend is. I'll update this thread if anything happens, which I think it might. Yes he knows who my friend is, he recognised her, I think they had seen each other a few years ago in a bar so knew what each other looked like nowadays.

I admire your friend, she could have taken the opportunity to get some revenge but she didn't. It's an extremely strong character trait to be honest.

It could turn out positive (with apologies, etc) or negatively (he could bully her again) but I thinking in all honesty nothing will happen and he'll just be like another colleague. Only time will tell.

I'm actually surprised he interviewed well, it must have thrown him off seeing her on the panel knowing their past history. In all honestly had I been in his position I'd have probably stopped the interview and left.

duchy

I don't believe once a bully always a bully but in the OP's friend's situation I would have said to my boss that I knew the chap from school and I remembered he was a bully.

Frankly if I was this bloke and I knew I'd been recognised then I probably wouldn't take the job as I'd feel my card was probably marked <shrug>

cazziebo

I was bullied at school by the girl who sat next to me (next to me in the alphabet so no getting away from her!) Being one of 5 kids from a house with no money I only ever had hand me down clothes and had one pair of shoes for the school year (not actually that unusual at my school). I also had bad skin, buck teeth - teenage nightmare really. Abuse was mainly verbal, but sometimes quite threatening.

20 odd years later, really surprised to find a message via Friends Reunited asking if I remembered her, "we used to be good friends at school"!:eek: I ignored that.

10 years on I get a friend request on Facebook - we've now become quite good friends. She's a lovely, caring person and her recollection of our school days is obviously so different to mine - and who is to say mine is right?

lisawood78

When I worked in an accounts department many years ago, I worked with somebody I went to school with, we got on fine.
One day we both saw the girl who had been the worst bully at our secondary school come into the building. We both specifically went to our immediate boss and told her that if the girl in question had attended for interview (we had a vacancy at the time) then she should know that she was a bully and things she had done etc etc. As has been stated above, bullies rarely change and this girl made mine and others lives hell and my colleague and I felt no qualms about letting our boss know.
We were thanked for our input and this girl never did work for our company (but I don't know if this was anything to do with us)

sassyblue

duchy wrote: »

I don't believe once a bully always a bully but in the OP's friend's situation I would have said to my boss that I knew the chap from school and I remembered he was a bully.

Frankly if I was this bloke and I knew I'd been recognised then I probably wouldn't take the job as I'd feel my card was probably marked <shrug>

I'm an employer and honestly l would welcome the info to make a balanced decision. If l then employed them because they were the best suited to the position l could keep an eye on the situation.

VestanPance

If a member of my team brought up the fact an interviewee had bullied them at school, I'd think less of the member of staff not the interviewee. Really, judging an adult on their abilities as an employee based on what they may have done as a child! Legally I would think that sort of action could see the employer taken to court too. Without proof the comment is nothing more than slander.

Also as noted by others the "bully" probably has no recollection of being a bully. I think you'd struggle to find a single adult that didn't say or do something as a child that could be viewed as bullying, or that some person may have taken to heart while they have long forgotten even making that remark. Let's face it kids will have a go at any of their peers for the slightest thing that's seen as different. Thankfully most grow out of it.

A long time has gone by since I was last in school, but I've meet numerous people through the years that I either liked or didn't from back then. That hasn't been any indication on what they ended up like as adults.

VestanPance

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

OK. What if it had been somebody who sexually assaulted them whilst a teenager? I fortunately escaped from somebody like that who was 14 at the time. What if he were to apply to work at an all girls' secondary school? Should I keep quiet because I wasn't going to be believed at the time/it was dismissed as 'boys will be boys'?. It would be my responsibility to say I have unpleasant experiences with that person and what they were.

Unless legal action was taken and he was found guilty then no you should say anything, as legally it would put you and the employer in danger of legal action.

If he has a conviction, even if it is a spent conviction then the employer has the right ask and to get details of the conviction.

If he has no conviction for the attack you comment would be treated as nothing but slander by the legal system. Legally you need to be very careful about what information you disclose, which due to the data protection act is why most employers will only state a confirmation of the start/end date and job title in a reference these days.

tattycath

I was bullied at school by one person in particular. I was walking through town one day some 20 years later and they were walking towards me.
They said hello, I said hello, we got chatting and out of nowhere they apologised for making my life such a misery at school-said they felt guilty etc and we now get on quite well.

j.e.j.

VestanPance wrote: »

Unless legal action was taken and he was found guilty then no you should say anything, as legally it would put you and the employer in danger of legal action.

VestanPance wrote: »

If a member of my team brought up the fact an interviewee had bullied them at school, I'd think less of the member of staff not the interviewee.

We live in a mad world..

marisco_2

j.e.j. wrote: »

We live in a mad world..

A person who as a child was a bully, or who made the odd flippant hurtful remark without much self awareness of its impact, can still turn out to be a totally decent and civilised adult, with much to offer both personally and professionally. It is only a mad world if others refuse to accept this as being a possibility.