Blast from the Past

1886

Opinions please

A close friend of mine (female, late twenties) has been in her current job 18 months. She really enjoys the job and has been promoted twice in that short time. I'm very happy for her as in the last 4-5 years she's worked for two companies that have gone into liquidation

As part of her job she now helps with interviews. A guy recently came for an interview and she realised that she recognised him from secondary school, he was somebody that was a bully to her. He used to bully her about her weight.

She said that just seeing him again brings back some horrible memories and it makes her feel very conscious being anywhere near him again. She said that he seems quite well qualified/experienced to do the job.

I'm a bit concerned about the fact that she said she feels totally different in his presence, she's really happy in this job and at this company. It would be a shame if that all changed.
She said that he seemed totally different to what he was like as I'm sure most people do now but people can turn it on at an interview. A guy they recently gave a job to turned into a nightmare he had to be sacked, he seemed amazing at the interview however.

They're still interviewing for the job, she's undecided on whether to hire him. I guess having not been bullied myself it's harder to put myself in her shoes. I know high school was a very hard time for her

Thanks

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

She should say something to the rest of the interview team. Bullies rarely change, they just get better/more subtle about it.

Tiddlywinks

I agree... she needs to come clean with the other panel members now - if only to prevent any accusations of bias in the future.

j.e.j.

A lot of people come across well at the interview but turn out to be nightmare employees. The opposite is also true. Interview skills are different to job skills.

I would have a quiet word with the other interviewer(s) if I were your friend, but legally I don't really know the ins and outs. Could he then claim that they were unfair in their treatment of him? Is it an equal opps employer?

CH27

She needs to make the rest of the panel aware of what she knows.

lika_86

She needs to excuse herself from the interview process on the grounds of personal interest, any decision she made would be biased on the basis that she is already prejudiced against him.

Ultimately, it's 10 years on, people change. Nobody I know is still who they were in school. If the bullying were to happen in the workplace then she could follow workplace grievance procedures.

We're all grown-ups now. How many of us would want to be judged on who we were once?

paulineb_2

I also agree, if she cant make an unbiased decision due to past history, she needs to remove herself from the interview process.

Sometimes in the working world you will meet people who you've known in previous times and that relationship might not have been the best.

If this guy is the same age as her we are talking about something that happened perhaps as long ago as 15 years ago

There are people I went to school with who were horrible to me and if I met them socially I wouldnt buy them a pint but if I had to work with them, Id just get on with it.

If she cant be objective, she cant make the decision.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

lika_86 wrote: »

She needs to excuse herself from the interview process on the grounds of personal interest, any decision she made would be biased on the basis that she is already prejudiced against him.

Ultimately, it's 10 years on, people change. Nobody I know is still who they were in school. If the bullying were to happen in the workplace then she could follow workplace grievance procedures.

We're all grown-ups now. How many of us would want to be judged on who we were once?

Consequences of actions, innit? If I'd been mean and spiteful to somebody, and they turned up on the interview panel of a job I really wanted, well, I'd deserve everything I got, wouldn't I?

TheSaxon

Karma, I would explain to the rest of the panel how horrible he was to me back in the day and then abstain from the selection process. I'm sure just informing the other people of how horrible he was will be enough for him not to get the position regardless of qualifications.

pinkshoes

He's probably changed since then, but as she knows him she needs to tell the others doing the interview.

If something from so long ago is making her feel uncomfortable, then perhaps this is an insecurity that needs addressing?

Gavin83

Out of interest did the guy recognise her?

It's a really interesting situation and I'm not sure how I'd react to be honest. Potentially they could hire him and he's now a nice guy, he apologises for how he behaved at school and she puts some demons to rest. Alternatively he could be nice but she still feels uncomfortable or he could still be a complete bully, although he's unlikely to get away with it as well in the workplace, especially with a senior member of staff.