Blast from the Past

ciderwithrosie_2

I was bullied - verbally and physically in both primary school and secondary school for a variety of reasons... not being Welsh, having darker skin and curlier hair than them, being more intelligent, more popular, dating a lad they fancied for themselves.
What I haven't let it do is colour the rest of my life. Infact, one of the girls that used to thump me on the school bus became a close friend after we'd left school and all grown up a bit.

tyllwyd

I watched a programme a while ago where the actor/comedian Sanjeev Bhaskar went back to the house where he grew up. He was talking about being bullied at school and they arranged for him to meet one of his ex-school mates who was part of the group that had excluded him. Sanjeev seemed genuinely upset by the memories, but the ex-school friend seemed pleased to meet him and confused that Sanjeev had such a negative memory of him.

What I am trying to say is that the OPs friend may genuinely have been deeply affected by this person's behaviour, but he may have had no idea of the impact it had on her.

I agree with the posters who say that she should ask to be excused from the interview process and say nothing more.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

ciderwithrosie wrote: »

It entirely depends on the circumstances - if it was a lad the same age who just took things a bit far out of excitement when you were having a snog after the school disco, then it was a mistake and can hardly be held up as sexual assault years later when that person is an adult and knows better.

If it was a genuine premeditated sexual assault by someone much more predatory and perhaps was known to have tried it with other girls/women then yes, I probably would make that known to the police.

But....a bit of name calling is hardly in the same league as sexual assault now is it?

Well, put it this way - once the crossing lady realised what he and his friend were trying to do, once I escaped from the alleyway they had dragged me into, she battered them with her lollipop.

When they weren't hunting and attacking 11 and 12 year olds at the age of 14, they were insulting and bullying other kids for being fat, poor, black, ginger, etc.


A predator (which includes psychological abuse) doesn't suddenly see the light and get saved from themselves at 18.

It would be remiss to not say anything in either case - otherwise any person who ends up on the receiving end of bullying if he got the position is suffering purely because the one person who knew his predispositions kept quiet.

I wouldn't want somebody else's unhappiness to be a result of inaction on my part. Especially as bullying can literally destroy lives, to the point of suicide.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

Gavin83 wrote: »

I'm not actually sure it's legal to add personal information you know about somebody to an interview process.

Eh - so why do people ask for references then?

Of course it's legal to 'add' personal information to an interview process...that's the point of the [STRIKE]interview[/STRIKE] recruitment process.

1886

Thank you for all of the replies. I spoke to my friend earlier and I think when the guy in question was interviewed he was one of the final ppl to be interviewed. She did'nt recognise his name on the application, it was'nt until she saw him.

She has a very good relationship with her boss and they've actually decided to give the guy the job. However, her boss said that if at anytime there's any problems etc. he'll be gone straightaway.

Personally, I would'nt have given him the job, why risk making yourself feel self conscious etc. especially at a job you really enjoy. I guess I'm just not a very forgiving person and my friend is. I'll update this thread if anything happens, which I think it might. Yes he knows who my friend is, he recognised her, I think they had seen each other a few years ago in a bar so knew what each other looked like nowadays.

hayday75

No way would i agree to employ some one who made my life hell! . Why suffer again ? .
Karma is a wonderful thing:)

meritaten

it sounds like either your friend didn't say anything or more likely she did but boss liked him for the job and 'pacified' your friend by promising to get rid of him at the first sign of trouble.
I don't like that. first it dis-respects your friend and second, its hardly giving the guy a fair chance is it?
not someone I would want to work for - their track record on picking employees is totally carp!
er - I thought it was a team interviewing candidates - but it sounds like its the boss's decision. why have a team?

k12479

I find the 'withdraw from the process' comments very odd. By that same logic, if it was someone you knew from a previous company that applied and you knew they were very good at the job, you would have to similarly withdraw because that would be biased in favour of the candidate?!

lika_86

k12479 wrote: »

I find the 'withdraw from the process' comments very odd. By that same logic, if it was someone you knew from a previous company that applied and you knew they were very good at the job, you would have to similarly withdraw because that would be biased in favour of the candidate?!

That's not really the same though is it? Knowing someone from a previous job and being able to speak as to their abilities (one way or the other) is very different to having bias on a personal level which has nothing to do with ability.

k12479

It has everything to do with working with other people. Communicating, getting on with others, not bullying people, professionalism, etc. are all as important, if not more so, than just the technical skills needed to carry out your job.