Underage mum and benefits

pinkshoes

iwanttosave good on you for posting shows all the critics that not everyone is the same and well done on what you have achieved you should be very proud of yourself a midwife that is my dream job just cant afford to leave my job to do the training

No one has said that everyone is the same, and what iwanttosave has acheived is fantastic. Most have commented on what the OP has said, which implies the pregnant 14 year old is after her benefits and a council house.

There are many people who have children as a teenager and go on to be very successful in life (my aunty for one!), but sadly those are a minority, and in the UK we have a severe problem with teenage (particularly under 16) pregnancies, and something needs to be done.

iwanttosave_2

pinkshoes wrote: »

No one has said that everyone is the same, and what iwanttosave has acheived is fantastic. Most have commented on what the OP has said, which implies the pregnant 14 year old is after her benefits and a council house.

There are many people who have children as a teenager and go on to be very successful in life (my aunty for one!), but sadly those are a minority, and in the UK we have a severe problem with teenage (particularly under 16) pregnancies, and something needs to be done.

I completly disagree, I know a lot of teen mums and all but one are fab mums and do an amazing job.

This one mum I know is the kid of girl who gives us all a bad name, she nearly 24 now and is pregnant with her 4th child to a 4th dad. She has admitted that she will pop a kid out every time it comes to the time she should get a job so she can stay on benefits, leaves her kids to fend for themselves and lets them play out till its time for them to go to bed.

But for every one of her, there are at least 5 mums carrying on with their lives, playing with their children, giving them a good role model to look up to.

Elle00

Oh these worries me taxpayers are always on hand aren't they? Because having a joint income of £50kpa and two flash cars on the drive along with sky TV and a foreign holiday isn't enough for some people is it? And nooo they couldn't afford to have a baby could they? A childminder can cost as little as £500pm so please would the people banging on about how those with higher incomes can't afford to have children - it's a blatant lie. What they mean is they can't afford to have children and keep both cars along with the sky TV and the foreign holidays. Well duh.

I'm off back to work in a couple of weeks for £14,500 full-time abandoning my 20m old to be raised by a complete stranger whilst STILL living off tax credits because of my one income situation. And that's mainly thanks to people with this exact attitude of "single Mums on benefits are repulsive scroungers stealing all our money". I'm fed up of being looked down at. Oh and there aren't actually any council houses left thanks so us scum of the earth don't just get a free house. Oh and just so we're clear I begged my ex to save our marriage even after he punched me for the fifth time so I didn't even choose to be in this situation.

This 14yr old has obviously been a complete muppet but she is still a child and deserves a bit more respect. What the Mother is and isn't accountable for is irrelevant seeing as how none of us know her situation intimately and why she is unable to work AT PRESENT. As the OP has clearly said, she did work up until recently. And wake up call for some of you here - we single Mums are only usually around £40 a week better off than those on benefits where we don't command a salary over £25kpa so don't just assume it would solve the problem at hand and be enough to raise the grandchild on. Besides which if Mum worked full-time who'd pay to care for the baby while the 14yo completes her MANDATORY education?

The 14yr old needs as much help and support as she can get right now and it sounds to me like she is wanting to break the chain and will do so with the right help. In contacting the school hopefully there will be a support organisation she can be put in touch with to explore her options. It should be that there is some childcare available to enable her to continue her education if Mum cannot do so for her (or doesn't want to which is her choice to make). I'm not sure about benefits before 16 but after she can claim reduced Income Support if she wants to be at home with her child or continue her studies. Otherwise she may be able to claim tax credits to help with childcare costs so she can start working towards a career. All these kinds of benefits are paid into for people to live off temporarily and no single Mother is ever left to just "sit around and scrounge" we are all harrassed by both the benefits agencies and the general public to go to work and dump our kids on strangers so don't worry, the majority of us do so. With the right breaks in life and an element of hard work there will come a day when this 14yo is a hard working member of society who is in a position to start to pay more tax than she claims back in credits and during her working life she will have repaid it all.

Benefits are like an insurance scheme almost and whilst some people claim more than others, so do people with pet and car and holiday insurance. If we weren't forced to pay into the benefits system most would choose not to then be up the creek without a paddle when they had a stroke, or their partner died leaving them with three young children unexpectedly. Or, just a thought here, when their 14yo CHILD falls pregnant.

before_hollywood

I have to say i think that what wanty has done has been fantastic and has proved herself to be a great role model to her two, thing is you have to judge each individual on their own merits and it doesn't take much to get people completely wrong, trouble is there are some that just sit around on benefits and do precisely nothing and expect a house and benefits for it giving everyone a bad name, i don't have kids and used to be a moderator on a childfree forum, and we regularly got flamed and called child haters by trolls who would appear, insult us and disappear again, i got fed up of justifying not having had kids at my age (25) so gave it up

benbenandme

I wish this girl all the luck in the world ... yes its going to be tough but isn't it tough whatever age you have children?? But mostly I feel sorry for what she is going to go through form people in everyday life ... already on here we can see the general view from many seems to be very negative and she will be faced with this attitude from people every day.

I admire her for facing up to the consequences of her actions, no its not an ideal situation but hey, life never is! Like another poster I am a single parent, not through choice, my ex walked out on us one night without any warning, and I regularly come across people that assume I have a council house/live on benefits etc because of it. In actual fact I'm financially better off since he left, I live frugally but my son doesn't go without, and I am aiming to pay off my mortgage 14 years early.

Zara33

We are assuming this girl is going to become a single parent aren't we?

savagevixen

Best of luck to this girl and her family. And when the time is right, congratulations too. Having a baby is a magical wonderful thing. There are dreadful parents who are 34 and work, there are dreadful parents that are teens. There are also fantastic parents of all ages. No one can pre-judge anyone's parenting skills. This girl is pregnant and is having the baby and those are the facts, it is pointless to mull over whether or not she should/shouldn't have the baby, it is pointless to highlight how difficult it will be. Life is difficult for all mums, but wonderful too, and she will be no different. And whilst she needs it she should receive all the help she needs, be it emotional or financial or anything else.
In a few months when she holds her gorgeous baby no one would dream of saying he/she shouldn't be there.
Abortion is easily discussed, but it is with you for life. I know people who have never got over them and also a friend who had one in her teens and has since been unable to have children.
This girl is a child who deserves the best possible as her child will too.

savagevixen

The dad is equally just a boy, and may not adjust to having a baby until the reality is there for him to see. He should not be judged either, I remember being 17 and I was just a kid (didn't think so at the time). He has run away with his girlfriend, fallen in love, felt grown up, its all gone pear shaped and he is probably scared out of his mind and trying to hide from the situation.

Triker

Hi you could try here for practical advice and support if you have one in your area



http://www.surestart.gov.uk/



plus this seems very informative for teenage mothers

http://www.ivillage.co.uk/pregnancyandbaby/parent/parenting/articles/0,,39_187820,00.html


I wish you all best wishes and good luck. XXX

savagevixen

I received a Sure Start Maternity Grant for my little ones. Its £500 to buy things for the new baby. You can apply anytime from 29 weeks of pregnancy up until the baby is 3 months old. Its for families on a low income.