Underage mum and benefits

kennyboy66_2

Perhaps the OP should have started 2 threads, one entitled "practical suggestions of help please" and the other "get it off your chest & put the boot into single parents, school age mums and benefit claimants".

SSB

Hi
Prosecuting the father will not help much; if convicted he will be placed into the sex offender's register therefore making it very difficult for him to get a job.

Childcare costs are not awarded to family members, she needs to access registered childminder, nursery etc.

poppyscorner

Well said kennyboy66,

I do not think she should be slated for this either yes it was a bit irresponsible to get pregnant at 14 but it is done now and she will have enough problems trying to build herself a decent life up from there the OP has stated that the girl wants to carry on her education which to me is very commendable and also indicates that she does not want to be on her backside claiming benefits forever she wants to make something of her life.

I also think it is completely impractical for her to work there will be very little opportunities for a girl of her age and what there is I.E paperrounds etc would not be the best idea whilst you are pregnant you have enough extra weight as it is without strapping a paper sack to yourself.

Her mum should be able to claim extra money for her and also when she reaches 29 weeks the sure start maternity grant of £500 you can get the forms from the website there have been threads on this as recent as the last few days so do a bit of a search.

Have a word with the boyfriends parents as well and see what they are prepared to help out with.

give them all of your support and make sure they get all support from LEA and her health visitor

good luck!!!

me_and_me_monkeys

Thank you to everyone who had helpful advice. The mum is on IS as she is at home with her youngest child (who is 9) she was working but when her 14 year old daughter ran away she felt that maybe if she had been home more then they would have had a better relationship and wanted to be at home to sort things out. Also work put pressure on her for having so much time off.

So she is damned forever for going to work and leaving others to look after her kids
And shes damned forever for staying at home. Ever get the feeling she cannot win??

She doesn't want to be on IS and as soon as everything settled down again she was planning to go back to work, but obviously this has put a spanner in the works.

As for the daughter she WANTS to be able to work, she WANTS good grades and to get a good wage and pay her bit. She also realises she made a mistake and will live with that for the rest of her life, She is trying and its not easy when people automatically assume shes done it as she is from a long line of spongers.

The boy and his parents are coming up for a meeting to discuss everything but they have decided to hold off a bit while everyone calms down and gets over the shock.

andyrules

She could ask at school for a Connexions advisor, also mum could ask to have one of the new CAF forms done, although these are really aimed at children in dire circumstances (arguably pregnant at 14 is pretty dire). Both would help access services available.

As you know them well, do you not think responsibility looks like coming down on mum quite a lot, especially as teen is looking at carrying on life as normal? Might be something for her to consider seriously, you'd need to be committed...
HTH

Rikki

If she wants good grades and a good job my suggestion would be an abortion. She will find it very difficult with a child in tow.

She was childish and irresponsible to run away from home for 3 months,have unprotected sex and at the age of 14. What makes anybody think she is all grown up now and suddenly wants to attend school and put in the work. A bit late now if you ask me.

me_and_me_monkeys

Rikki wrote: »

She was childish and irresponsible to run away from home for 3 months,have unprotected sex and at the age of 14. What makes anybody think she is all grown up now and suddenly wants to attend school and put in the work. A bit late now if you ask me.

Have you never had a lightbulb moment when suddenly you've realised that you messed up big time?? I have, maybe not the same but still I messed up BIG TIME and I realised my mistake, grew up overnight about it, and I wasn't much older.
But I didn't come on here to justify her behaviour or that of her mum, I cam to ask for some practical advice/ideas so they can sort themselves out - As i know how knowledgable people on here are

Nicki

Perhaps I am very naive, but I am genuinely shocked by the posts that have been made suggesting that this poor girl has an abortion or puts her child up for adoption.

Yes, she has made a big mistake, and yes she may well have been immature and irresponsible to have run off with this boy and become pregnant by accident. She is however now, according to OP, facing up to her responsibilities, and has decided that it is best for her to keep her baby and continue her education. That must be her decision surely. There are just as many stories of young mums who have gone on to make a success of their lives following an early unplanned pregnancy, as there are stories of girls who spend the rest of their lives on benefits (and in fact I'm sure I've even read a few on these boards) What kind of society do we live in if we force those we consider unsuitable to abort or give away their children!

I don't have any practical advice to give to OP unfortunately. I wish I did. All I can suggest is that they check out the many threads on this board about how to bring up a baby on a shoe string. However I do wish this young girl and her mum well, and hope that they will be able to make ends meet and come through this, with the young mum able to start a career for herself in her early twenties, by which time her child will be well established at school and childcare will be much easier for her.

lic

Acc72 wrote: »

I don't want to be judgemental, and I understand that a major consideration is money.

But, what I don't understand is why do people automatically assume that the money should come from benefits (i.e. from taxes paid by people in work) ?

Although I understand that the grandmother to be will be concerned - has she not thought about getting a job herself, or asking the father to get a job etc. to pay for the child.

From the information we know, this child will be at least a third generation brought up on benefits.

Statistically speaking, the chances are this family will continue to claim benefits infinitum.

Anyway, enough of this posting - my lunch break is nearly over : must get back to work to help pay for all of this ...........

What do you think the benefit system is for? it's for providing for people who are in need of temporary assistance,with temporary help finanial or housing. The mother to be cannot work, she would never earn the same amount as benefits will give her. The father to be will probably be claiming benefits, so he won't get a job. As for the grandparents, why should they work to support the grandchild; and their benefits will not stretch far enough to help!
So the solution is plain, let the mother be a single mother on benefit. When she is old enough she will be awarded a flat on benefit, and the father can move in with her (unofficially of course, that way the benefit system will still pay).
And like generations of people in a similar situation, they can live off the taxes you and I pay!
It was a very sunny day across the Country today, I was at work earning money to pay for my family, and to pay for those families that are on benefits.
no time for me to be in the garden today. In winter i have to think about putting the heating on, but if you are on benefits you get free gas!!
Who are the fools?
I work in an area were I meet the great unwashed everyday. I know that most of them know exactly what the benefit system wil provide for them, and they know how to get it too.
So don't be bitter without people like us paying taxes, these poor people would have to get a job, and would not have all the free time they currently do!

Becles

Rikki wrote: »

If she wants good grades and a good job my suggestion would be an abortion. She will find it very difficult with a child in tow.

Depends on the attitude and maturity of the child and the support she gets from her mother, or the baby's father and his family.

I had a baby last month. I also have 2 boys, 2 collies and the usual household jobs. I'm managing to juggle all that with doing a uni degree, including completing an assignment the day after I came out of the labour ward. If the girl is determined to manage looking after the baby and her studies and with plenty of support, she'll get there.