twitcher11 - can you help this OP?

Sea78

Hi all - this is not my posting, just copying from the DMP support thread as I offered - can any one help the OP.


twitcher11's original post
Hello everyone.

I am new and have NEVER posted on any website before.
I am not sure even if this will appear on it
I have only just found the Moneysaver site and this debt section.


To say that I am desperate is an understatement.
I am £65,000 in debt on 10 credit cards and a loan.

I am on Incapacity Benefit for 10 years for depression since my mum died and my marriage broke up and my ex-wife wouldn't let me see my daughter.

I kept getting raised credit limits and just used them with my head in the sand .
I cannot believe what a fool I have been.

My contact with my daughter is now great and she is hopefully going tp University this year.

I have finally realised that she is an adult and that I am the child and that I have got to do something about my life

The other reason is that I have at last met someone and fallen in love with her.

She doesn't know about my Inc. Ben. and my debts and I do not want to lose her.

I have read about lots of things on the site but do not understand all of it and the jargon.

No-one knows any of this I have stopped being able to sleep and drink every night just to stop my brain from driving me mad .

I am crying as I write this .
Just getting it all out onto the page is a relief.

Please please help.

Conor_3

Bankruptcy is the only option unless they own a house with enough equity in that they could sell. The OP doesn't have enough income to go into a DMP/IVA.

pania

Well for starters twitcher, welldone for taking the first step. This is exactly the place to be in your situation and the advice and support you will find here will be invaluable. I came on here with a similar level of debt to you, the pressure is unbelievable but please please realise there is a way back.
Congratulations to you for meeting your lovely lady. she will support you and hold you, even if you decide not to tell her about this. It is so good that you have a strong relationship with your daughter. You have so much going for you!
What is done is now in the past. don't look back and blame yourself. Look ahead with positivity. it's only ahead that you can see the road to being out of debt.
So, lets take a look. What we really need to know is who the cards are with. what the interest rates, outstanding balances and limits are for each one. ditto for the loans.
Also lay out for us what your incomings and outgoings are each month and include the costs of living like clothes/birthdays christmas etc.
Will catch up som more once we've received that info. Go to with a happier heart. the world wide web holds a lot of friends, and you'll be sure to find some great ones here.
Kind wishes
P
xxxx

moonlightpjs

Hi Sea/OP
Can you possibly post an SOA - see Southern Scoucers sticky at the top of the board then we may be able to see things a little clearer.

Please do not feel alone, we are all here to help and support you no matter what route you decide to take. There is always a way forward and you have made the first step in posting on here so well done :T Have a read through some of the threads just to get you started and see what support you can expect, what other people are going through and what advice people have been given. You have now faced up to your problems so deserve a pat on the back. Take baby steps ( as one wise DFW once told me) little steps one at a time and know that you are not alone.

Like I said, when you are ready post a SOA, theres loads we can do to help but do it when you are ready. Keep posting and congratulations on finding love again. There is no need to feel ashamed or whatever, we are all in the same boat and we are all here for you - you have only done what many of us has done ie sticking our head in the sand

Keep posting and take care

twitcher11

Hello everyone

I am a bit of a night owl tonight as I have stayed off the booze which I usually use in an attempt to get me to sleep.

I just saw that sea78 has kindly reposted my original post of earlier today.
Thankyou.

Thankyou also Conor, pania and weller711 for your lovely words.

I now know what a SOA is and I will get one posted later today Wednesday.

Conor maybe I can avoid bankruptcy as I have a small pension of about £7300 besides my IB of about £6700 and I have a small house with about £50,000/£55000 equity in it and a mortgage of £40,000.

I am amazed I have found this website and keep reading the words of pania and weller711. They are talking to ME ?
The stress of keeping all this bottled up for so long and not sharing it was just too much.
Thankyou all again.
I will keep posting I promise.
twitcher11

sophiesmum_2

Hi Twitcher
Just to let you know that you are not alone. there is a world of help and support out there and people who know what you are going through, some now debt free and some still on their own debt free journey.
Post your soa and you will get the help you need. There is always a way to deal with your debts, it may take a long time and mean making changes but it can be done - just read some of the signatures on people's posts and see what can be achieved once you get stuck in.
Good luck with your debt free efforts and i hope things work out with your special person. That should be incentive enough for you to get started.
take care

sophiesmum

GirlRacer_2

Hi Twitcher, try not to worry, everyone here is in the same boat with varying degrees. Post your SOA and everyone will come along and try and help you out. Have your tried the CAB, they are really helpful.

Will pop back later and see how its going for you x

pania

Hi twitcher.

Welldone for staying off the alcohol last night:T I know what not sleeping feels like, a few years ago i was very ill with depression and laid on my sofa all night every night for 3 weeks! i didn't dare go out of the house and lost 2 stone in weight. it sounds to me asthough you've really been through it with the death of your mum and marriage breaking up in such a short space of time. I don't have children but can only imagine that not being allowed contact with your daughter is devastating and i am so glad that you now have a good relationship with her. What does she want to study at uni?

There are other methods to getting a good nights sleep other than drink (try buying a box of valurin tea, nowhere near as tasty as alcohol but much better for you and has lots of "make you drowsy" herbs)
i'm sure dealing with the issue and getting such a heavy weight off your mind will help you no end.
I'm glad you found some comfort in our words, plenty more where they came from hon!!
Looking forward to seeing that soa. Speak soon. xx

Shineyhappy

Hi Twitcher

A big well done done for posting and saying hello to us all :j ]

As others have said it is easiest to give specific advice and suggestions with a SOA.

Have you been to see a doctor with a view to thinking about returning to work now things are begining to look up?

This website is amazing as it is just like one huge support group for us all that we can use 24/7 and for as long or as little as we like (although it is highly addictiive ). There is so much this site can offer, advice, support even links to apply for free razors! Make sure you read as much as possible and keep posting

jo1972

Twitcher,

I am so glad you have found this board and these lovely people. I'm quite new here myself and have learnt tons of things to help me sort my situation out. I look forward to reading your SOA and seeing how you can be helped, listen to the guidance on here as everyone has been or is in a similar boat and we are all here to help you. Do not feel ashamed about your debts, if it wasn't so common you wouldn't have forums like this filled with people asking for help.

Good luck Twitcher, I will keep my eye out later for your post.

Take good care.

Jo.x

Storm

Hi Twitcher :hello: and welcome to DFW

I kept getting raised credit limits and just used them with my head in the sand .
I cannot believe what a fool I have been.

We're all in the same boat on this board - while we're DFWs now the majority at some point or another have been ostriches! There's no point beating yourself up about the past, cos it's done, and posting on here is the first step towards being debt-free!

Good luck & I'll keep an eye out for your SoA

Storm x