Daughter rant feeling quite raw

ceecee1

You need to make sure that this work is declared to the DWP, there is a form PW1 which need to be completed to agree any work at all whilst on ESA. Its not just the money that needs to be declared but also the number of hours and the length of time that this work has been going on. And yes, if she doesn't declare it she could be investigated for fraud - this could also be extended to looking at your business if she is not being paid the minimum wage and on your payroll

paulineb_2

unholyangel wrote: »

To be fair though, for every genuine person who cant work etc....there are probably an additional 3 that claim they cant but actually can.

I know someone who is in their mid 30's and has only ever worked for a 6 month period - total. They have never had a job in the last 15 years at all. When their gran died 10 years ago, they used this as an excuse saying they were too depressed. And the reason I say excuse is because they didnt work for the years previous to that either - except for a 6 month work experience placement the job centre put them on.

And tbh, I can see why they wouldnt want to work. £70 odd quid a week in their bank, £60 rent paid for them and £30 council tax. That means they're "earning" £160 a week for doing absolutely nothing. Dont have to travel to work/get out of bed/have early nights for work the next day etc. Dont have to pay for glasses, dental work etc.

The funny thing? When asked their profession, they give the profession of the job placement they done some 15 years ago for just 6 months! :rotfl:

Personally, having been in that situation, getting 71 pounds a week JSA and getting my rent and council tax paid, part of it as we pay the water charge up here. The last thing I wanted to do was not work.

When you are running a flat and have to pay bills £70 a week doesn't go far. And yes, you get rent paid but you don't see any of that.

And you get a voucher towards the cost of glasses, yes, but that doesn't mean you can afford to buy them.

£70 a week is well below the poverty line. Ive had two 6 month spells of unemployment in the last 3 years and I couldn't have stood much more of it.

Unless someone lives with family and only needs to pay them a contribution to their rent etc, you find that £70 a week doesn't go far.

Gas, electricity, food, money towards my council tax, travel, not a lot left over.

Yes there are people who seem to do ok on benefits but Id argue that people on £70 a week with no other top up, don't sit at home thinking they are better off out of work

Ive always been better off in work than out, apart from when I worked part time for a while, I was then worse off.

SingleSue

julie8314dave wrote: »

Yes the gig thing, we can not make it out, we think she looses herself in the music, just goes with her dad and get taken there and home again and does not have to speak to anyone as the music is so loud,

she does not live in the real world, and thinks that life is about music and gigs.

As a parent of an aspergic teenager, music is the thing he loses himself in. Generally, he is not a show off or likes to have the attention but on stage playing his drums or at gigs watching, he just comes alive.

I've asked him why and he says it is because music is different, makes him feel comfortable and makes him feel like he belongs....there are no huge judgements.

Mind you, music is also the magic key which calmed him down, since playing his instruments (and finding he has a rare talent for it), there have been very few aspergic rages and educationally, he has excelled as he is now calm enough to take stuff in. It has also given him socialisation skills, to play in a band, you need to get on with people, talk to people and because it is music, he can do that a lot easier.

Prothet_of_Doom

I know someone who employs his son in his garage, during school, and now university holidays.
The contract of employment went something like this:
1) I have good mechanics who I pay to do a good job. If you upset them I will sack you, because the work they do pays for the house we live in.
2) I have good customers, who pay me to do a good job. If you upset them I will sack you, because they pay for the house we live in.
3) I have you, my son, who means everything to me and your mother, if you do not follow instructions you will hurt yourself, so I will sack you if I think you are not safe.
4) We all work hard, and we have a laugh. If you can't harder than everyone else, I will sack you. If you can't be the butt of everyone's jokes I will sack you.
5) On the other hand I will pay you, and I will treat you as a grown up, and an equal if you deserve it.
He would follow this through.
Set up your expectations (and why) before you go further.

Takeaway_Addict

ellay864 wrote: »

She's 22, not a child. She won't suffer being at her dads, doing without Internet etc is not suffering, it'll do her good to appreciate what she's got with you. You give her £50 each week and she gets free board, that's more than many her age will get. Let her stay there and grow up.
Just one thing though, I don't know what your business is but would you insist on any adult employee removing nail varnish? My DSD is 19, has dyed hair, wears bright nail varnish and has numerous tattoos but her employer recognises that has nothing to do with her ability to do her job

It really depends on what the job is, if its sitting in the office not interacting face to face with customers then its not an issue. If its face to face to customers then the employer may want a strict dress code.

Pollycat

Takeaway_Addict wrote: »

It really depends on what the job is, if its sitting in the office not interacting face to face with customers then its not an issue. If its face to face to customers then the employer may want a strict dress code.

And if it's a food prep business (as the OP has confirmed it is)

julie8314dave wrote: »

yes it is a food prep business,

I can see why employees would be asked to remove nail polish.

I still shudder at the memory of Jennifer (of 2 Fat Ladies fame) with vivid nail varnish and fingers jammed with rings elbow deep in pastry or something similar. :rotfl:

ellay864

Takeaway_Addict wrote: »

It really depends on what the job is, if its sitting in the office not interacting face to face with customers then its not an issue. If its face to face to customers then the employer may want a strict dress code.

I totally accept that, but I asked the question as OP's tone came across more as a mum ticking off a child than a boss enforcing an agreed dress code. Although I don't agree with it entirely I appreciate some employees either make judgments on appearance, or bow to customers' similar judgements, and ask for certain standard of appearance. I wasn't questioning that, more asking if she was reacting as a parent or employer in that case.
Eta at the time of asking there had been no mention of food which I accept will need hygiene standards

Savvy_Sue

zzzLazyDaisy wrote: »

If you wish to employ your daughter, put her on the payroll. Pay her minimum wage, and do it properly.

And give everyone a contract which includes expectations of dress code and make up and consequences of not conforming.

Could she not have worn gloves, rubber gloves for washing up and food prep gloves for the sandwiches?

Although heavy facial makeup is harder to deal with, I'd hate to think of false eyelashes or loose powder falling into the food.

paulineb_2

I agree, gloves would have solved the problem and yes, if you are employing her, a contract as well with expectations.

Also, from a business owners point of view, paying a worker cash in hand could rebound on you at a later date, Id put her on the payroll and get her to sort out her ESA claim or Id get someone else in and pay them through the books.

fashionlover10

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

And give everyone a contract which includes expectations of dress code and make up and consequences of not conforming.

Could she not have worn gloves, rubber gloves for washing up and food prep gloves for the sandwiches?

Although heavy facial makeup is harder to deal with, I'd hate to think of false eyelashes or loose powder falling into the food.

I work with open food in a supermarket and although we do wear gloves when preparing food we're not allowed to wear any nail varnish. Make up must be minimal, jewelry is not allowed and our hair must be tied back and kept covered.
We've even had checkout staff sent upstairs with a bottle of nail varnish remover before.

I can completely understand why the OP told her daughter it was unacceptable for her to be wearing nail varnish although I also agree that the same rule should apply for all members of staff.

I can see how the OPs daughter must feel too having previously worked with my own mum. The only way to make it easier for you both is to treat each other in a employer-employee manner whilst in work. I never called my mum 'Mum' whilst at work as she was my supervisor and it would have been awkward for her and our colleagues. She also treated me the same way she treated everyone else and if I'd done something I shouldn't have she would have told me instead of letting it slide.