Homophobes Need Not Answer - Divorce and Relocation

samtoby

I think you just need to relocate in England somewhere. I moved away after leaving my sons father when I was 21. I needed a break and I needed time to manage my emotions and my sons. It was the best thing I ever did and 4 years I moved back to a few towns away from where I used to be and all has worked out ok.

Despite my ex assaulting me with his mother and generally making my life hell - leaving the country never crossed my mind.

neverdespairgirl

frankie26 wrote: »

My eldest who is not close to her dad as he is homophobic and she came out this year, has said she wants to come with me, but Im torn.

Your elder daughter is 15, is that right?

I'd be very wary of encouraging a 15 year old to make such definite statements and decisions about sexuality. It's (as you yourself know, from your own experience) not a binary thing, and pigeon-holing yourself at the age of 14 or 15 doesn't seem a very good idea, to me.

Person_one

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

Your elder daughter is 15, is that right?

I'd be very wary of encouraging a 15 year old to make such definite statements and decisions about sexuality. It's (as you yourself know, from your own experience) not a binary thing, and pigeon-holing yourself at the age of 14 or 15 doesn't seem a very good idea, to me.

I knew I was straight long before the age of 15.

OP, you'd have been better off leaving out the aggressive comment about homophobia in your title. It's not relevant, it'll only detract from your real problems and it just makes it sound like you're going to accuse anybody who disagrees with you of being homophobic!

Gloomendoom

Person_one wrote: »

I knew I was straight long before the age of 15.

Apparently, it took the OP a lot longer to discover that she wasn't.

lostinrates

Gloomendoom wrote: »

Apparently, it took the OP a lot longer to discover that she wasn't.

It took me a while to decide I was (and that's a simplified statement of how I feel....NDG and I were chatting elsewhere about this recently )

I have friends who have been openly gay since teens who have made combing back out again statements as straight in twenties and thirties.

While its 'not a big deal' to most of society now it can be quite a big deal to the individual who thought they knew themselves well. ( fwiw, for plenty of course I agree, they will always 'know' who they are. . )

*max*

I fail to see the relevance of your sexuality in the opening question, personally. Obviously, it's a massive deal for you, but that doesn't mean that it needs to influence, justify, or have any bearing on absolutely everything in your life from now on!

Dunroamin

frankie26 wrote: »

I have already set up an alternative email adress and opened my own savings account. I work part time and get paid in cash and therefore wll be saving some of this and also we are coming into some money soon which I may be able to syphon off some to give myself some financial assistance. I am then planning on filing for divorce next year.

If by this you mean that you're paid cash in hand and not paying tax and NICs, I suggest that you regularise your position. Getting a criminal record won't help you to gain custody nor to move to the States.

Valli

Thing is, hun, if you have opened a savings account those savings could well be tracked/traced by your husband and then you could be accused (rightly) of hiding assets which are joint assets.

They are joint assets because you are married.

frankie26

Okay, so i get paid in cash therefore im a criminal - no. I am registered self employed and a trained accountant and have filled out tax returns each year and i dont pay tax as do not earn enough as only work 3 hrs a day.

I have never pigeon-holed my daughter. She made the choice to come out and she has always been tol by myself that straight, bi or gay i love her no matter what as shes my daughter. My husband however does not like gay people in the slightest and therefore my daughter feels uncomfortable around her own father. I cannot change his personality or his views.

I am not looking to steal or defraud - I am simply saving money as my mother-in-law lives with us and rather than subject my children to a war zone when i file for divorce, I want some money aside for a place for us to move into as I have no close family to go to and also to start divorce proceedings. The savings are not hidden - they are in my name at our address with our bank and it is an existing savings account in my name.

I have never done anything illegal ever and dont intend to start now, I am just planning for the eventuality that I will have to move out of the marital home as it is in my husbands name only because i had ben self employed for a short time and therefore couldnt be put on the mortgage.

Cherry_Bomb

I still don't get the whole 'homophobes avoid' warning. What exactly has you being bisexual got to do with the price of bread?

Or is that the big old chip on your shoulder talking?