Husband ran off with another woman,how do I protect family finances

triple_choc_chip

pooh wrote: »

Now I am just looking to the future with my daughter and I .
I have enough money left from the inheritance for my daughter to finish year six at the school.Then after that we will see what happens.

Contact the school to ask about a bursary, based upon your income. If you are successful you may only have to pay 25%

Dimey

Oh dear I fear you are going to have to be brave and strong while this is sorted.

Absolutely get a good solicitor urgently. You need to know what you can do to protect yourself and your daughter both physically and financially. Do it now before he has a chance to do further damage.

You need this professional solicitor to act for you, (someone who won't be intimidated by him). Avoid face to face with your husband or his girlfriend. Communicate through the solicitor. That way you won't get upset by clashes and won't get dragged down emotionally so often. The focus will be on practical things.

Is the house in both your names? Ask the solicitor if you're allowed to change the locks on the house if its shared? If not get some CCTV at the doorstep to record anything untoward from him or his girlfriend.

Has money been drained from your joint account to fund the mistress? Over how long a period? - check statements. Ask the solicitor if you can close any joint accounts? Does he have access to your daughter's account?
All the inheritance money you put in will be taken into account when your solicitor negotiates.

Ask the solicitor whether your husband can force you to move while your daughter is underage.

I know its hard but you've got to focus on salvaging what you can for your daughter and yourself. The pain of being deceived and betrayed will be there but you need to act now to make sure you and your daughter have as secure a future as possible and build a new life.

Would your daughter benefit from a short holiday to stay with grandparents while you immerse yourself in the start of this legal journey? Do you have a friend who can help so you don't crumble.

I wish you well.

RuthnJasper

OP, some amazing advice here, especially zzzLazyDaisy - who, ironically, is anything BUT lazy...

Just wanted to express my sympathy for you and your child. You neither asked for nor do you deserve this situation. Hope things improve for you soon; but please don't beat yourself up. It isn't your fault that your husband decided to be a revolting slug.

Sincere best wishes to you for the future. xx

iammumtoone

I am very sorry to hear of your situation. I don't have any advise to offer apart from getting a good solicitor, which has been said.

If you are worried about your sentimental items when you go out can you either take them with you (jewellery in handbag) or pack them all away and ask a friend or neighbour to look after them whilst you are out.

sooty&sweep

Hi

Would it be worth getting the locks changed so he can't let himself in ?

All the best to you & your daughter

Jen

zzzLazyDaisy

sooty&sweep wrote: »

Hi

Would it be worth getting the locks changed so he can't let himself in ?

All the best to you & your daughter

Jen

The problem with this is that if the house is in joint names - unless there is a court order to prohibit this - he is entitled to come and go as he pleases, any time of the day or night, and even move back in if he wishes. It is as much his house as hers.

Yes she could change the locks, but the law requires that she gives him a key so it is pointless. If she goes ahead and does it anyway, he'd be entitled to break a window and get in (remember it is his house) or get a locksmith to change the locks again, which may mean that OP could be locked out of her own house until she managed to get a key off him, or get the locks changed again.

It is true that most estranged partners would not go to such extremes, but that's the law.

Dimey

Lazy Daisy's right.
OP must mention to her solicitor about the police fracas when her husband entered the house - per OP's second post.

Maybe the solicitor can get agreement from the husband that once he's taken his personal belongings, there be a change of locks with no key for the husband. That protects husband from false accusations as much as it protects OP & daughter's safety.

Padstow

zzzLazyDaisy wrote: »

The problem with this is that if the house is in joint names - unless there is a court order to prohibit this - he is entitled to come and go as he pleases, any time of the day or night, and even move back in if he wishes. It is as much his house as hers.

Yes she could change the locks, but the law requires that she gives him a key so it is pointless. If she goes ahead and does it anyway, he'd be entitled to break a window and get in (remember it is his house) or get a locksmith to change the locks again, which may mean that OP could be locked out of her own house until she managed to get a key off him, or get the locks changed again.

It is true that most estranged partners would not go to such extremes, but that's the law.

That's not strictly true as the OP also has a right to privacy under the Human Rights act, may be article 6, can't quite remember which one.

I was always accommodating to my ex removing his stuff by arrangement so I didn't have to see him. He waited until I was in court for the house to be repossessed 18 months after he'd left (due to him ignoring the order to pay the mortgage), of course he knew I wouldn't be in, and came in and stole loads of my things. How low can someone get? Change the locks OP, I wish I had. He is entitled to force entry but must repair any damage he does in doing so.

zzzLazyDaisy

Padstow wrote: »

That's not strictly true as the OP also has a right to privacy under the Human Rights act, may be article 6, can't quite remember which one.

Not against a legal joint owner of the property as he has an equal right to be in the house (unless there is a court order preventing this).

sulkisu

pooh wrote: »

Bless you all for coming back to me so soon.
Yes I think I will need to see a solicitor.I did have an appointment booked for last Friday but was too scared to leave the house for long as earlier in the week he visited the house after checking I was not in and was removing stuff that he knew was of great sentimental value to blackmail me over.
I managed to get back home in time to catch him and the upshot was when the police where called he was arrested for what he had in his car.
He was held for fifteen hours and then sent me the most abusive and threatening messages you could imagine.
Upon contacting the police he was arrested again.
Trust me he has put me through hell since January until May and I was in psychiatric hospital for seven weeks.I have even had disgusting abusive messages off his girlfriend after he moved in with her telling me what she would do if I ever phoned or text my husband again.
Now I am just looking to the future with my daughter and I .
I have enough money left from the inheritance for my daughter to finish year six at the school.Then after that we will see what happens.

I am surprised at this part TBH - i.e. that he was arrested for removing items from the marital home in the absence of a court order preventing him from doing so. Nevertheless, you will have to brave leaving the house to seek professional legal advice - there are so many factors complicating matters.