Husband ran off with another woman,how do I protect family finances

pooh

Well the end of a 24 year relationship and ten year marriage with a nine year old daughter is what I am dealing with now.The home we bought in 1993 with a deposit of £8500 from my previous home,as I put all the deposit down,now has very little of a mortgage.In fact only £5000 is outstanding after a second mortgage was obtained in January this year for school fees.
When our daughter was 4 months old,my mother died,and my brother and I received an inheritance of 100 000 each.
I used my inheritance to clear the rest of the mortgage £28 500.
My husband a few months after quit his job that had a company car attached and then asked me to pay for a car for him,a Lexus that I paid £14500 for in 2005.
The remainder of the inheritance has been used to pay school fees since my daughter started at the nursery attached to the school at two years of age and is now nine.
My husband moved in with the woman he was having an affair with in April.
He now is after money from me and thinks he is going to be able to force a sale of the home my daughter and I are living in.
I am not working,he is,and is due compensation from an accident at work.
He is now saying he did not want our daughter to go to private school.
Do you think it would be possible to offset what he wants off me against half the school fees, half the purchase price of the car,half the money that I paid against the deposit and the remainder of the mortgage and the compensation he is due.

paulineb_2

I think you need to get proper legal advice.

SunshineButterfly

paulineb wrote: »

I think you need to get proper legal advice.

I agree with this. You need a good solicitor who can discuss all the options with you, as he/she will know the law and rules and so on.

I am so sorry to hear that he has been such a a-hole!!

marisco_2

Seek the advice of a good solicitor regarding how to approach the financial aspects of your split from your husband. My thoughts are with you and I hope that you have the support of friends and family to see you through this horrible time.

Treevo

If you're not working how are you planning on paying for private schooling?

zzzLazyDaisy

1. Make an immediate application to CSA for child maintenance.

2. Make an immediate appointment to see a good solicitor specialising in divorce law (ask around friends for recommendations).

3. All savings and assets - including the matrimonial home, anything left of your inheritance, and his compensation - fall into the marital 'pot' and the starting point is 50/50. But from that adjustments are made according to what the court would consider to be just and equitable. You are the PWC of a young child so there is every possibility that you will be allowed to remain in the house until the child is 18.

4. School fees are also viewed separately from child maintenance. Where possible the court will seek to maintain the status quo, at least until the child finishes primary school. If the NRP is a sufficiently high earner, he may be ordered to pay school fees in addition to CSA. Alternatively it is possible for the cost of the school fees to be accounted for by allocating a greater share of the joint capital to the PWC. Or it may be decided that the financial situation is not sufficient to support continuing to pay for private education (but this depends on the income and assets of the parties, and avoiding the need fr the child to change schools would be an important consideration).

The above comments are just for information, you really need good legal advice.

pooh

Bless you all for coming back to me so soon.
Yes I think I will need to see a solicitor.I did have an appointment booked for last Friday but was too scared to leave the house for long as earlier in the week he visited the house after checking I was not in and was removing stuff that he knew was of great sentimental value to blackmail me over.
I managed to get back home in time to catch him and the upshot was when the police where called he was arrested for what he had in his car.
He was held for fifteen hours and then sent me the most abusive and threatening messages you could imagine.
Upon contacting the police he was arrested again.
Trust me he has put me through hell since January until May and I was in psychiatric hospital for seven weeks.I have even had disgusting abusive messages off his girlfriend after he moved in with her telling me what she would do if I ever phoned or text my husband again.
Now I am just looking to the future with my daughter and I .
I have enough money left from the inheritance for my daughter to finish year six at the school.Then after that we will see what happens.

Yorkie1

So sorry to hear the additional information. You definitely do need to get a good lawyer pronto. As it is a jointly owned house, he has the legal right to enter it unless there is a court order in force preventing him from doing so. A solicitor would be able to assist with this aspect too if you don't already have a court order to protect you.

I'm pleased to hear that the police have been supportive. Make sure you keep records of any and all contact from your ex if he is stupid enough to get back in touch or come to the house etc.

triple_choc_chip

My ex also said he hadn't wanted our DS to go to private school when I ended the relationship, and I have seen how many children have vanished from the school over the years, presumably because their father's have refused to pay. I also know of more than a few savvy mums who are waiting - planning to leave their marriages when the kids have gone to Uni.

In our case the judge made a consent order for ex to pay half fees for two years until end of year 6 as this is a transitionary time anyway. As it turned out he only paid his share for 4 terms and as I was pondering how to afford the full fee, the school informed me there were also arrears to pay. :eek:

We live very frugally (and MSE has helped so much with this) in order that he can continue at the school - just finished year 9 - and as you can see from my sig. I have been paying back debt too; more than 50% of that was money I had lent to the ex.

He also refuses to pay any maintenance but I know it pains him to see that we survive and thrive without him. Until now I have lived from month to month, hoping my job was safe, never knowing if DS would be at the same school the following term. Now from August I can start to save and gradually feel a little more secure.

I hope it works out for you, I was determined that DS would not lose his Dad, his home and his schoolfriends at the same time. As it was, we moved after 2 years because I needed a clean break as ex wasn't contributing to the mortgage either! I got a 65 /35 % share because I had been paying the mortgage alone for 2 years and could prove that I had paid for home improvements. Get legal advice quickly and be determined about the important things for you, good luck.

TTC

zzzLazyDaisy

OP, as Yorkie says, because he is a joint owner, you are not allowed to change the locks without a court order. Speak to your solicitor about this.

In the meantime, check to see if the door can be opened from the outside when the key is in the inside lock (mine can't, but I know some can). If yours are the sort of locks that cannot be accessed from the outside when a key is in the lock inside, get extra keys made for external doors and leave them turned in the locks when you are in the house so he can't simply walk in.

Alternatively consider getting internal bolts fitted to the external doors, so that when you are inside the house with your daughter he can't simply walk in. There is also nothing stopping you locking/bolting the front door when you go out and leaving by the back door.

marisco_2

You may well find that once you have a solicitor behind you, your ex will back right off and stop his abusive and heavy handed approach. How awful for you to be subjected to that. Take care of yourself and your daughter.