My Dad

gwen80

zagfles wrote: »

Or cancel the flights, rebook yourself, paying yourself, and show him you're not financially or otherwise dependant on him. Then maybe arrange to meet him on your terms, perhaps suggesting a time and place, perhaps paying for a meal etc, and leave it up to him whether to show up or not.

Believe me, there's no better way to show someone the world doesn't revolve around them by taking control, showing them you're not dependant on them, calling the shots, and letting them take it or leave it. By letting him pay for stuff you just pander to his narcissism (sp?).

I was going to do this, if he'd have communicated with me at all!

CH27

OP you have problems with your mother, father & brother.

Have you considered getting some counselling to help you to work things through as to what you want do in the future?

gwen80

CH27 wrote: »

OP you have problems with your mother, father & brother.

Have you considered getting some counselling to help you to work things through as to what you want do in the future?

Hi CH27

You're right. Yes, counselling is on my list of things to do in the next few months. I've had a lot of therapy in the past, which has helped me get over OCD, anxiety and depression. Now I think I need to work out how to get the best out of my relationships and what I want in my future.

Thanks

Gx

marleyboy

gwen80 wrote: »

He gave me his account no. and PIN.

Having had nothing to do with my Dad in over 25 Years, although he is hardly on the wealthy side, this would prove to be a fatal flaw, as I would happily invite my Brother to come along with me on an all expenses trip to Florida for a fortnight.......just for starters.

gwen80

CH27 wrote: »

OP you have problems with your mother, father & brother.

Have you considered getting some counselling to help you to work things through as to what you want do in the future?

I'll also say I thought I was doing better once I'd recognised that my Dad was a narcissist and my Mum could be controlling. I've tried for years to please my Dad, but it's impossible and what he wants me to be - a power crazy b1tch who !!!!s on anyone to get to the top, will never be me. I've realised that the type of person I am will never be recognised by him, only any status I achieve.

gwen80

marleyboy wrote: »

Having had nothing to do with my Dad in over 25 Years, although he is hardly on the wealthy side, this would prove to be a fatal flaw, as I would happily invite my Brother to come along with me on an all expenses trip to Florida for a fortnight.......just for starters.

Thanks for making me smile through the tears marleyboy

CH27

gwen80 wrote: »

I'll also say I thought I was doing better once I'd recognised that my Dad was a narcissist and my Mum could be controlling. I've tried for years to please my Dad, but it's impossible and what he wants me to be - a power crazy b1tch who !!!!s on anyone to get to the top, will never be me. I've realised that the type of person I am will never be recognised by him, only any status I achieve.

You need to hold this thought fast & stop trying to please him.
Be the person You want to be.

gwen80

Just had a thought... Should I email him with:

As I haven't heard anything more, I assume all is ok with the flights - see you in December!

Love Gwen

Own_My_Own

gwen80 wrote: »

Just had a thought... Should I email him with:

As I haven't heard anything more, I assume all is ok with the flights - see you in December!

Love Gwen

I wouldn't bother. If he doesn't like it let him email you.

gwen80

CH27 wrote: »

You need to hold this thought fast & stop trying to please him.
Be the person You want to be.

I have been working on this. I've realised that I tend to tell him things, hoping for some sort of approval, but I'm trying to be more aware of that and ensure that I'm not subconsciously looking for any approval.