Someone in my team just got engaged!!! Man I'm jealous!

Torry_Quine

Dunroamin wrote: »

If living together were as big a commitment as marriage then it would be a marriage, that's the whole point. When/if you find you want different things then you can move on because there isn't a commitment - better to do that than find out after you're married!

The prevailing viewpoint seems to be that living together is no different from marriage though. I think it should be entered into with as much seriousness and hope of permanency.

Percy1983

Torry_Quine wrote: »

The prevailing viewpoint seems to be that living together is no different from marriage though. I think it should be entered into with as much seriousness and hope of permanency.

I would agree, we got engaged, then bought a house and then got married.

The getting married bit probably had the least impact as far as life went, the actual commitment to each other was way before that.

Dunroamin

Torry_Quine wrote: »

The prevailing viewpoint seems to be that living together is no different from marriage though. I think it should be entered into with as much seriousness and hope of permanency.

Living together can be for a variety of reasons ranging from something similar to marriage to the convenience of only paying rent on one property - you can't generalise.

Torry_Quine

Dunroamin wrote: »

Living together can be for a variety of reasons ranging from something similar to marriage to the convenience of only paying rent on one property - you can't generalise.

Which is why I made it clear it was my opinion. If it's to save on rent surely that's not a couple though but flat-mates and very different.

Lagoon

Dunroamin wrote: »

Living together can be for a variety of reasons ranging from something similar to marriage to the convenience of only paying rent on one property - you can't generalise.

Very true. A majority of people now move out of their parents' home around the end of their teenage years, for university or otherwise. It's usual for young adults to live with friends of a similar age, because it's convenient and allows for a better quality of living. It therefore follows that if two people are in a relationship, they'll live together sooner (rather than living in separate properties with their respective friends).

Living alone means living in a much smaller property, usually in a much worse condition. It seems to me that moving in with your partner is often the best choice financially, as well as being the perfect opportunity to make sure that you CAN actually live with them and any habits they might have.

Torry_Quine

Lagoon wrote: »

Very true. A majority of people now move out of their parents' home around the end of their teenage years, for university or otherwise. It's usual for young adults to live with friends of a similar age, because it's convenient and allows for a better quality of living. It therefore follows that if two people are in a relationship, they'll live together sooner (rather than living in separate properties with their respective friends).

Living alone means living in a much smaller property, usually in a much worse condition. It seems to me that moving in with your partner is often the best choice financially, as well as being the perfect opportunity to make sure that you CAN actually live with them and any habits they might have.

Maybe so but to me once you call someone your partner then it's something that should be treated as seriously as if you are married. I don't see it as a stepping stone to see if things work out and possibly marry

duchy

I don't have a problem with couples living together -whilst not making a permanent commitment ........but the problems seem to arise when one half of the couple is "seeing how it goes" and the other is regarding it as a trial marriage.

I think we need different words -some people seem to affect the overused word partner to mean boyfriend/girlfriend even if it's still a fledgling relationship of a fortnight .........yet it's also used by couples who've lived together for twenty years, have kids, mortgage -the whole package.

CharlotteMusha

securityguy wrote: »

Wouldn't paying off your credit card be a better use still? #justsayin

Yep, thats what we're doing! Nothing gets planned officially wedding wise until debt is clear :T
Would be a bit of a hypocrite being here otherwise wouldnt i :rotfl:

Dunroamin

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Which is why I made it clear it was my opinion. If it's to save on rent surely that's not a couple though but flat-mates and very different.

Most flat mates don't share a bed!

Dunroamin

duchy wrote: »

I don't have a problem with couples living together -whilst not making a permanent commitment ........but the problems seem to arise when one half of the couple is "seeing how it goes" and the other is regarding it as a trial marriage.

I think we need different words -some people seem to affect the overused word partner to mean boyfriend/girlfriend even if it's still a fledgling relationship of a fortnight .........yet it's also used by couples who've lived together for twenty years, have kids, mortgage -the whole package.

I really object to the use of the term partner when someone is only a boy/girlfriend. It's very misleading and I wonder whether it's the person who's keener on the relationship who initiates its use.