no wedding invite

Mizz_Pink

pinkshoes wrote: »

That would be rather mean as it would but the bride in an awkward position!! Organising a wedding day is stressful enough without people phoning up and moaning that they haven't been invited!!

I would get your OH to discretely email the groom and ask whether the invite is for both of you, or this was just your one. (implying that the 'other' one could be in the post...). You'll get a reply saying one of 3 things:

1) other invite sent separately and maybe got lost,

2) invite is for both of you

3) Rathergutted is not invited...

At least this way it then gives them a chance to send another invite out if they forgot, or give a reason why they didn't send you one! You never know, maybe she thinks you're too pretty and will upstage the bride!! or maybe her husband to be has a crush on you so she doesn't want you there!

I dont think its mean at all, having organised my own wedding only a year ago I know how busy and stressful it can be. If the bride doesnt want to be put in an awkward position then she shouldnt be inviting men as singles when she knows they have partners. Also as this happened before with the same group of freinds it isnt just a one off and some kind of mix up. Even if they didnt like the op for some reason she still should of been invited. I cant think of anything more mean than that !

liney

Groom 'Wedding's going to be good fun isnt it mate'
Mr Rathergutted 'Not sure i'm comming yet mate'
Groom 'Gasp! why ever not mate'
Mr Rathergutted 'The Mrs is upset you didn't invite her'
Groom '!!!!!!.. didnt we?' OR 'Well the thing is mate....'

Get your fella onside. Don't confront the bride; it will end in tears. He doesn't have to actually turn the invitation down, just imply that he is giving it consideration.

Tell your bloke you are upset though. I'd be fuming if my husband went without me

Mizz_Pink

My husband wouldnt go without me i'd like to think

pinkshoes

I

dont think its mean at all, having organised my own wedding only a year ago I know how busy and stressful it can be. If the bride doesnt want to be put in an awkward position then she shouldnt be inviting men as singles when she knows they have partners.

But the bride and groom can invite who they want to their wedding, and maybe one of them has a problem with Rathergutted, or maybe they have limited numbers so can only afford to invite one of them. It's really rude to start kicking up a fuss demanding to know why you weren't invited!

It could have been a really difficult decision for the bride not to invite Rathergutted, so imagine how humiliated she'd feel if Rathergutted started phoning her up demanding to know why!

Maybe it was just a mistake and the parents sent the invitations? Mr Rathergutted can question his invitation to see if it's for both of them, but Mrs Rathergutted can't just rush in, all guns blazing, demanding why she didn't get one!

That's the problem with weddings nowadays. SO much politics!!

bigup

Agree with pinkshoes.

If your not invited just accept it. If they wanted you there they would have invited you, why lower yourself and try and get an invite by bugging the bride/groom.

Personally i would hope that my partner wouldnt attend a wedding that i wasnt invited to!

RadoJo

If this were the wedding forum, and a groom/bride to be was asking advice on how to cut down the number of invites, people would be falling over themselves to say 'It's your wedding, you don't have to invite anyone if you can't afford it/don't want to'. Bear in mind, it is their wedding, and however upset you may feel, it is their day, their event, and they have the right to invite who they want. As such, I agree that advice about approaching the bride is a little OTT, and may result in your OH not feeling able to go.

I think Liney's advice is spot on - if your OH can address the matter in a non-confrontational way then that could diffuse the situation entirely by revealing a mistake. On the other hand, it may be simply that the bride and groom consider themselves to be better friends with your OH than you, and although that may hurt if you feel you are all friends equally, there's nothing you can do about it except spend more time with people who do value you!

Janepig

I've been to afew works wedding parties alone as has DH (the evening party I mean) and we've been to some together. The last one I went to afew weeks ago I went to alone as the rest of my friends were all going alone too.

Personally I think it's up to the B&G who they invite, end of story and if you're not on the list then that's that. I hate all this nonsense about partners must be invited, etc...... Perhaps it's a budget thing, maybe they're trying to keep costs down, I don't know, but for goodness sake don't lose sleep over it, it's just one day. And if it's like most of the weddings I've been to I think you're better off out of it - booooooorrring. Spend the day doing something you enjoy.

Jxx

newlywed

Why not get your OH to text/phone the groom (as suggested, possibly a better choice depending on who he is more friendly with) and say if there are any spare places, any people drop out, can the you come as you'd really like to?

Answer will only be yes, or no.

We weren't offended when we were asked that by a guest (whose girlfriend we didn't know).

Lozzle23

I just wanted to sympathise really. I agree with what some other people have said in that really, you have a right to a) be miffed about the lack of invite and b) about the fact that your OH is going without you. If you do somehow find out that you really were deliberately not invited i.e. there was no "lost" invite, I would hold your head up high and find some new friends.

kr15snw

Recently had a similar situation. My OH (bf, not living together but been together for 2 years and ALL his mates know were together) was invited to one of his mates weddings but only he was. Considering this was a mate from football, which means the only time my OH has seen his mate then Ive been there with hem, I was miffed.

Luckily it turns out we're away that weekend so theres nothing we can do anyway. So my OH has declined, but I was heartbroken all the same!