no wedding invite

SeptemberBaby_2

I don't know who I'd be more annoyed with - the wedding couple or my DH for accepting without me! I have never received an invitation of any sort for just me, even when I was single, as they have always stated 'and guest'.

However, if this did ever happen to me, I would send an acceptance card back stating that "Mr & Mrs RatherGutted would be delighted to accept your kind invitation" and let them deal with the situation.

x

swampduck

Oddly enough, a situation like this arose with my step-son and his girlfriend. They were not together when the invites originally went out and even though the wedding was planned nearly a year in advance - my stepson had to pay for his girlfriends' wedding meal. Which at £35.00 plus was a bit steep (in my opinion anyway!!)
But they paid up - got dressed up in new outfits - got the wedding pressie - paid out for drinks at the bar etc etc. Guess what ?? 10 days later the happy!! couple had split up and gone their separate ways!!! They hadnt even had the wedding photos back from the photographers!!

paddy's_mum

I'd be bit hurt too! However, rather than making an issue of it with either the bride, groom or your OH, why not arrange a very tasty afternoon/evening out for yourself and a couple of girlfriends.

Scenarios like the Chippendales or a hen night knees-up spring to mind. Faced with your oh-so-calm announcement of that, your OH might well think twice about going without you. Good luck with it.

daphne_descends

Wow. What rude friends.

I think I'd either:
- get OH to ask why I'd not been invited
- ask myself
- go anyway

But I'd be VERY upset if my OH just decided to go without me, without questioning my lack of invite first.

Nicki

I'm surprised it has happened twice to be honest. Once could be a mistake or misunderstanding, but twice suggests something odd.

Could you sound out someone else in your friendship group discreetly (not the bride and groom) to see if you can get the low down? You could even ask the previous bride if you are fairly friendly with her as now that the wedding has passed she presumably won't be so stressed, though she may be a bit embarrassed to be confronted. At least then you will know the reason rather than torturing yourself about all the possible causes. If it is the worst case scenario and you are being deliberately ignored, then you have the info and can decide whether you want to continue to be part of this social circle. If it is something rather more innocent, then you can clear the air, and hopefully the next time there is a wedding the situation won't arise again.

I know if it were me, whilst I wouldn't confront the bride and groom, I would need to know the truth. Otherwise, it would slowly poison my friendship with the whole group, as I would always be wondering whether they secretly disliked me, when the truth may be something completely different.

Whatever you decide, bear in mind that their behaviour says far more about them than it does about you.

alwaysonthego_2

I would be upset if Mr Onthego was invited and not me. I am surprised your oh is going, that would miff me of aswell

VickyA_2

In the early-ish days of our relationship (1 year in), DH was invited to a couple of weddings by himself without me. However, each time I didn't know the bride or groom and they didn't know me - and space was at a premium (and at great cost too). What I did each time was ensure that I had a fab day out shopping and not worry about spilling tomato soup down my front! :rotfl:

For our wedding last year, there were some people that we were unable to invite because we hadn't met them (friends' partners) and space was at a premium. However, we did explain that because we hadn't met x (even though in one case we'd tried on a number of occasions) and space being at a premium we were unable to invite them both. Because we explained before the invitations were sent, people understood - or at least seemed to (and we're still talking and seeing those friends, even if we STILL haven't met their partners!!!).

scubaleopard

I am not sure I would want to be part of this friendship? group anymore and if I am totally honest I am not sure I would want to be in a relationship with a bloke who wasn't miffed on my behalf.

SSB

Hi
Although I can understand that this is very upsetting to you, it is up to the bride and groom (or parents) to compile the guestlist. Advice regarding enquiries, gatecrashing etc. is just inappropriate, it would just show total lack of manners to attend uninvited. Furthermore, are you upset because the lack of invitation or because you feel that your relationship is not viewed as a serious, committed relationship?

This wedding is just one day, meet up with your friends and enjoy a good night out.

MortgageMamma

I have experience stuff similar to this and it was because my husbands friends and their girlfriends didn;t like me. It was all rather shallow as they had only met me a handful of times but eventually I accepted it

What I thought at the time was completely different though, and it may be true I will never know. I thought I was not being invited to certain events because

1. one of them had their eye on my husband and therefore I was not to be in their way
2. he had/was having an affair/indiscretion with one of them and it would be awkward having both females present

I was very paranoid for a long time. MortgageDaddy continually refused these single invitations and eventually the whole group got the message and stopped inviting him. Its a very sad situation as he's lost some friends, but he says he really doesnt mind because I'm more important and he'd outgrown them anyway.

I would have a word with your other half and explain you are really upset about it and would like to know why you have not been invited. they are his friends so it should be him who approaches the situation and offers you an explanation

whether you will like it or not is another matter.