The OS Doorstep - a helpful and supportive thread in these tough times

[Deleted User]

Hugs for you too CHEAPY, it's not easy watching someone you know and love become a different person, we had this with MIL and it was so hard some days. You will still love your dear Mum whatever happens and there are three of you to keep each other buoyant and somewhere deep inside, whatever personality changes occur with Mum she will still love all of you just as much as she does now, even more perhaps as she will have you as a constant in a changing and unfamiliar world. Keep yourselves as positive as you can and it's not wrong to be sad some days, so let it happen if you need to, we're all here for you too, Love and Hugs Lyn xxx.

lisakay_2

Cornish chick, your anniversary weekend sounds fab
princess, I hope a good nights sleep will make things look a lot better by morning xxx
pops, hope it was only your pride dented by the fall x
sorry to miss others out, but I forgot who else I wanted to ention specifically x lots of love x

Thinking back (way back lol) I don't ever remember being aware of not having much money, but i'm pretty sure we didn't (mum, are you reading? did we?).
my eldest almost had me rolling about laughing not so long ago, my friend who lives directly behind us, has more money than sense (as I've told her many times). Her daughter is a size up in clothes and shoes to mine.
The little girl came out in the garden proudly displaying 6 brand new pairs of shoes. She said 'Look at all my new shoes B' aren't they lovely, are you jealous?'
To which my beautiful little B' replied with a smirk 'no E' why would I be jealous? they'll only get passed over here when you grow out of them and haven't even had a chance to wear them!'
She's right, and very observant for just 8 years old. stuff gets passed on to us that still has price labels on.

I'd love to be able to give my two everything they want and spoil them rotten, but they are much nicer little girls for not being spoilt and despite not having everything we want, we do have everything we need.
I'll just share one more littlw thing that made me smile and feel very proud tonight. littlest went to a party and big one was a bit upset that she wasn't invited. littlest was picked up and dropped off by a friend as DH has the car for work. when she got dropped off she disappeared inside while I had a chat with her friends mum. I came in to see she had been in the kitchen to get a knife and plates and had very carefully divided her little piece of birthday cake in to 3 pieces to share with me and her sister and had split her party bag sweets in to 2 to share as well. when I have daughters as sweet, caring and loving as that how could I possibly want for more. tonight I feel very contented and happy.
best get some housework done then I suppose

Cheapskate

Lisakay, what a beautiful thing for your daughter to do - I'd say that sums up everything that's right with how you're raising your children!

KidcT/MrsLW, thanks for those comments, just feeling a bit low, wine prob doesn't help, I'm not a drinker! We've experience in the family, so we've a good idea how things will go, I've left my jobs, so I can enjoy as much time as possible while mum's still herself.

A xo

katieowl_2

Hey Peeps... remember I told you last week that there was a poor dog I'd cried my eyes out for on the internet?

My best GF is getting him on Sunday. She shared my picture too, cried her own buckets, and finally got in touch with the original poster, and made enquiries :A...So he didn't get PTS, they'd managed to get him an emergency place, but it costs to be there so it was to be as temporary as possible. She got home checked on Friday, and she's been speaking to the woman tonight, so he's coming to her Sunday evening. I loved her anyway, but now I love her so much I could squeeze her till she popped :T:j:beer:

Kate

kidcat

Oh kate that is lovely. So pleased for you.

jem132

Next door is a council house so hopefully they will do something on Monday.

I've been making my Halloween costumes tonight iv made my corpse bride just need to do a little bit more work on it.

Dh made a nice curry for tea mmmmm deish.

Cleaning day tomoz hope it's dry so I can dry my washing.

stiltwalker

Evening all

Big hugs to you Princess - sorry I can't do anything more practical , but please know you are not alone and folk on here will listen even if we are not near enough to offer anything else. X

Hugs to anyone else who is need of one too.

Ups and downs today - had the visual impairment specialist teacher out for DS his time today, we've always know his vision is worse than his sister (but didn't realise until the summer quite how poor this was!) but it is even worse than I suspected - VI teacher can't be sure that he is really seeing much beyond an arms length and have to say that reviewing our observations this is probably fair comment - but not great, as if our small people didn't have enough to contend with already!

On the upside he worked really well with her and was really cooperative by his standards, he even came out with a new word (Driver, when looking at his Driver Dan books) which she heard and understood!

DD had a really good day at school, did really good drinking (we've had worries that she has not been taking on enough fluids) and had the corresponding number of good wees on the loo with no accidents (she's also not great at telling new people she needs to go but is getting there with school staff now). She did lovely playing on the playground before school - it warms my heart to see her interacting with her peers despite her mobility and communication challenges - they just ignore them and she seems to be at the centre of whatever is going on!

Another down was a row with DH - I'm cutting him a lot of slack at the moment as he has his resit exam next Friday but he just didn't do one thing to many this afternoon and go it with both barrels - he hasn't quite apologised but is being very solicitous and trying to make himself useful so I'll take that!

Also got the copy letter of support today that the OT has written to the housing association - we've bitten the bullet and applied for housing as we've had to accept that this house (love it though we do) is not going to work for us long term so have put an application in with the local housing association who do all social housing in our area. It's fantastic that she has supported us but reading the letter is just one more step in realising/accepting that life is always going to be that bit more complicated for us.

Anyway - enough moaning from me, I've got a lovely bloke (mostly lol), a glass of wine and got a great box of goodies today from Westin Gourmet today with lots of yummy meat for a seriously bargain price - I always wait until there are really good offers before I get anything.

monnagran

Just popped in before sliding off to bed.
Princess: Sometimes life is just pants and there is nothing we can do about it. You sound as if you are about as low as you can get. That's OK. You're there now so wrap yourself in a duvet and have a good rest. The problems will still be there when you surface but you will feel a little stronger to deal with them. Baby steps back up to the surface, don't put any pressure on yourself.
I think that if you could put a bit of distance between you and your family you would feel better. Try thinking what you would advise your best and dearest friend to do if she were in your situation right now. We are often wiser and kinder to our friends than we are to ourselves. You are worth cherishing flower, and must cherish yourself if it is not happening for you.
My best love to you.

Cheapskate: Have been in your position so know what you are facing. All I can say is that when my Mum died I didn't feel a thing. For my brother and I she had left us months before but we hadn't quite realised it at the time. We realised looking back on that time that our grieving had already been done, inch by inch as she had gradually gone away from us. You are doing exactly the right thing in enjoying the time left when she is still 'with' you. Keep your sense of humour. My Dad was amazing and used say, "What do you think she said to me today," and he'd have a chuckle over it. If there was an ounce of laughter going spare he would find it. It got us all through a pretty miserable time.
All my love and best wishes to you.

x

stiltwalker

Good post monnagran (as always)

Sorry Cheapskate, meant to say hi to you too - we are going through this with FIL - he is slipping away from us and into dementia and we are very worried that he and MIl are moving down southshire at the end of the month (nearer to BIL and family so not completely mad - their current home was completely unsuitable for them as FIL's mobility has decreased drastically). Sadly BIL seems to have no realistic idea of how bad FIL really is so will be a real wake up for him and his family, don't think enough though has been put into the transition for FIL but then MIL is (how can I say this tactfully???) somewhat wilful and BIL just lives in La la land as far as other people's needs are concerned.

Enjoy what you can lovey and know that as long as you have done what you can do then don't fret - X

Popperwell

Morning All,
So many in need of hugs and support but as low as we seem to get, there is strength to "Pick Ourselves Up and Carry On!" Don't know how you do it. One size does not fit all, regardless of what our Government says and their plans and most are struggling whatever their situation.

Me? Its the lack of energy and being sleepy at present, not sure I'm up to a trek out today but feel its wrong not to try after being home all week.

The killer is the walk to the bus stop and the change to another bus route but once on a bus you have something to interest looking out the window.

We'll see what happens later.

Glad the recipe was a success:)I have yet to make the shortbread but now have unsalted butter and caster sugar, I already have vanilla flavouring and icing sugar and loads of flour so I guess I mean business.

I'm thinking of following Nigella's recipe...but have to decide whether to stick with Vanilla or adapt it so it has a light taste of ginger. Thinking of making some for the bingo club on Thursday as a surprise.