The OS Doorstep - a helpful and supportive thread in these tough times

Jazee

A friend of mine was buried in a woodland setting, absolutely beautiful. DH wants to be cremated and for me to keep his ashes in the bedroom - so he can keep an eye on me! Black humour here too.

floss2

I've told DH he's being cremated, and scattered up Stickle Ghyll in the Lake District, with a bit saved to scatter outside the Stickle Inn I have told him & my lads I want to be cremated to "Disco inferno" or "Relight my fire" - they reckon they will have "Ding dong the witch is dead"....at which I promised to haunt them!

Thanks for the info Pooky...have just ordered a dehydrator so it will have to wait a while!

Chicken thighs in the oven with allotment herbs, last of the courgettes & sweetcorn, celery, a leek, onion & a bottle of cheap red we were given...smells delish! I also made a cheesecake with smart price ginger biscuits, value cream cheese with lemon juice & zest and will put allotment rasps on top.

Off for a walk thru the Lights tonight, then for a beer to fortify us for the walk home!

CRANKY40

Mr Cranky wanted a Viking funeral on the River Mersey. He didn't get one. He caused quite enough hassle having to be repatriated from the Falkland Islands! Four years on his ashes are still in the wardrobe while we decide what to do with them. I stopped opening the wardrobe door and shouting "you selfish b******" after about two and a half years. We should start a black humour club MrsLW :rotfl:

There is a woodland memorial ground near us and current thinking is he may end up there. He was buried in his full officer's uniform as it cost a fortune. He wore it for our wedding and was heard moaning that he wouldn't get his moneys worth out of it, so being of Scottish ancestry I thought it should have at least one more outing.

From an OS point of view...I need to stop buying food. I used to keep us stocked up because just being me and the House Elf, if he was ill or the weather was bad I didn't have to worry. He's nearly 9 now and would be quite happy to be left indoors while mother plods round to the corner shop in 3 foot of snow, so there's really no need for the two freezers full to the brim. Old habits die hard, sigh!

kidcat

Loving the funeral plans. We were talking about this the other day having seen a beautiful wicker coffin go past in a herse. I was saying how cardboard would be much cheaper and environmentally friendly in most cases. In fact I said for cremation could a rent a coffin not be used. At which point my support group collapsed at the idea of second hand coffins.

mardatha

We've spent 48 years arguing and have now started arguing about our funerals. It's good to have a fresh subject to disagree on

ArthriticOldThing

My DH had his funeral plan all written out and I just had to follow the instructions. I guess once a sergeant major always a sergeant major. :rotfl:

We had always discussed such matters and laughed about them as well.

He got exactly what he wanted.

PRINCESSX87

Gosh you lot. At least there is no loss of flavour with the chat. One moment its family worries then death! Lol.

So clearly OH didn’t get the memo for moany OH day - A few days ago. Today is his day. And our topic of argument today is…….His Brother!

The so called crime he has committed has resulted in him being held on remand. The anger amongst OH family is crazy right now and the amount of people being snappy towards one another is out of control. Maybe that’s their way of coping, Certainly not mine. Maybe that’s we’re our argument has started and I have to learn to back down.

I have had a falling out with OH’s Brother about a year ago. I keep telling everyone I couldn’t care what he’s done, If he was big enough to break the law than he’s ugly enough to serve the time. My thinking behind this is…Some poor soul has been hurt in some way by his actions (Mentally, emotionally, ect) But I’m being told I’m selfish.

Then MIL has told me things and asked me to keep them from OH. Really silly things, but again I’ve refused too. Me & OH have always committed & promised each other 2 things in our relationship. No cheating & No keeping secrets. I’m not prepared to start now. Which as you can guess….Hasn’t gone down well.

I can understand that OH parents are having a tough time of it, And as a release of anger they’ve taken it out on OH. But trying to get through to MR P that him then taking out on me isn’t on.

Does it make me a awful partner….Unsupportive? Am I wrong?

Well, As you can tell not much has been done tonight & I’ve no energy so I’ve ordered a cheap chippy takeaway. I’m having a soak, strop, din dins & off to bed!

Sorry for the waffle folks. Have a lovely evening x

[Deleted User]

PX87 OH is reacting to the pressure felt by his family, and you're the only one not telling him he's wrong so he'll let off steam not at you, but to you pet. It might not seem that way at the time, but he's under lots of stress and certainly won't be meaning to hurt you by what he says, you're most likely his only safe spot at the moment. Do just what you plan to do, have a nice 'time out' soak in the bath, have a lovely fish and chip supper and have yourself an early night, get some 'you' time. Tomorrow is another day (sorry it's a well used cliche) and you will feel better and he will probably be feeling a bit guilty so be nice to each other and things will sort themselves out pet, it's just a storm and will pass and you'll be happy again, Love Lyn xxx.

savingqueen

Sorry to hear about the stress both you and your OH are under, feel for both of you. Princess hope you had a nice bath and supper and are tucked up in bed or snuggled on the sofa now. I think our role as partners is to support but at the same time not take all the flack either - it's a delicate balance, looking after yourself and looking out for your OH. I find sometimes I need to leave DH alone to retreat to his cave for his problems whereas with mine I need to talk it through. Maybe being honest would help? Maybe calmly and gently say you are there for him and on his side but you find it hard to be supportive when he is snapping at you (or whatever he is doing) Sometimes a touch of humour can break the tension and stop the arguing/sulking - I once waved a pair of white knickers on a stick through the door when neither of us could seem to say the right thing. It worked! Be kind to yourself Princess.

sq:)

savingqueen

I have no qualms talking about funerals etc - I have always said i want a no-frills and non-religious one but I guess it would be nice to think about making it special for those attending. Not sure really what I would like though. Maybe I don't need anything special for myself but would like to make the experience 'easier' for anyone involved. DH on the other hand refuses to talk about anything death related so I don't know what his wishes are and not even sure I could guess. Again maybe he just isn't that bothered. Worse than all that we haven't made wills because of DH and also because we can't agree on who we would want to bring up the children should the worse happen - it's pretty worrying that there is no-one in our families we would really want the kids to go to as our contact is so limited with DH's siblings and non-existent with my sister and both sets of parents.

sorry didn't mean to go on about this, it is a subject that worries me and no-one really to talk it through with properly.

change of subject - a box of chocs was delivered to me last night from my friend's mum (via friend's DH) just because I dropped my friend to her mums when she was very poorly and picked her back up in time for the school run. I have done it a few times in the past but a bit bewildered as to why she sent chocolates for such a small favour - very kind and much appreciated by me.

boys have been playing up a bit today - mainly before dance class which has been happenning too often. Turns out they don't want to go any more but instead of telling me they play up. Glad we have got to the bottom of it as it's embarrasing keep on telling them off in class or cancelling but now have to tell the dance teacher (who is a friend of a friend) that the boys don't want to go anymore - she has been running the boys only class for the pair of them (at the princely sum of £2.50 each) as no other boys have been interested.

DS6 is desparate to go horse riding but I don't think we can afford it, well we could I guess at a push but if we move we definitely won't then and I will feel awful if have to stop him going. I would rather they do one thing they really love than several they are not bothered about. Why does it have to be such an expensive thing though?! Maybe we will get DS6 a horseriding lesson for his birthday and see how it goes. Ever since our holiday on the farm he has been upset about missing his horses.

sq:)