The OS Doorstep - a helpful and supportive thread in these tough times

Pooky

cornishchick wrote: »

Ok after an axious start to the day, feeling almost scared to face work email, and so did not want to go to work, i had more anxioy and feeling of intense sadness, not explaining this very well, sorry, i was basicly crying while driving to work, felt sick and faint.. spoke to my manager ,who tries to be supportive and understsnds that i was concerned that if i gave up work to stay at home, then DHs illness would be my only focus, and did i still feel like that.. she advised me that i was the onlh one who could decide that. Made it through my shift, then came home and talked to DH about the same thing.
He said,at the very least i should phone my GP tomorrow to discuss this with him.
So tomorrow i am phoning and making an appointment... and we can take it from there. I know it wont change the situation, there is nothing they can do to change th3 outcome but maybe they cqn help me find the strengh to carry on.. for as long as i need to.
Ok need to check dinner. Be back later toughies.
x CC

I don't know your situation and don't want to speak out of turn but maybe focusing on DHs illness is the way forward, maybe you do need to be full on focusing on now and being there with him? If the thought of work is stressing you to that point then it's only going to make you ill.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with taking time to take stock, get your mind straight and work out exactly what you want from your current situation.

When my DH had his accident 4 years ago, I was on the cusp of going back to work after raising our DDs, once we realised how much help DH was going to need (not just physically but mentally too) then my being here was essential. I do take time out for me, time to do something I want, every single day, even if it's only for 10 minutes.

As I said, I don't know your situation but make sure every day is worth it, not spent worrying and stressing about things you can change. Save that worry for the stuff you can't change.

mcculloch29

Hugs for all those having it tough.
DS was in a further decluttering mood today (hooray!). This resulted in a whole load of surplus to requirement 'stuff' ending up either at the recycling depot or Cash Converters.

Did you know that if a member of your family accidentally shreds the TV licence (having not known that yearly ones are now no longer issued to save money) you can print off a new one online?

You need your licence ref no. but if you pay by direct debit this number is your direct debit reference. Even if you haven't got a printer you can save the licence as a pdf (Adobe Acrobat file).

jem132

Morning all by its freezing outside.

We are all in our hats and wellys for our walk to school.

There is no chance of them moving they are all adequately housed in council housing.

I am not going to worry about it any more we will move when the times right. I am going to do this house up so it's not as tired that may help me feel better.

And once ds9 is settled in school I am going to get a job.

I better set off or we will be late

Have a nice day and stay warm x

FairyPrincessk

Good morning everyone,

I'm afraid there is no way I'm going to ever catch up. I had a go this morning, but I'll never remember it all! So, hugs to those of you going through tough times. I think someone joined a council gym--that is where I go. Ours doesn't have showers either, but you're right it is friendly and people are always around to encourage each other. I've swapped tips several times, and I've got a bit of banter going with some of the trainers. It makes it a pleasant place to be, which is a far cry from some of the posh gyms where everyone is after the spot next to the mirrors so they can admire themselves.:D

I think it was Mary who was worried about a daughter with glandular fever? I had it, right in the middle of my senior year (u.s. school, so the same as upper sixth here). I think I was home for two weeks and then a bit week and tired for the third. However, I still managed to keep up at school and I turned out fine.

Right, well I got back from Stockholm on Sunday night. There was a very long wait at immigration and then a long wait for a train and then a long wait for another train....so I was very tired. OH had made dinner and tidied the house so I collapsed and then had to be in Uni at 9 for a training day. By the time I got home yesterday evening I was in a state. OH was also pretty tired, so we had an early tea and crawled straight into bed. Both feeling much better this morning. I've got a quiet day at home today. I think I'll start by unpacking:rotfl: then re-acquaint myself with the menu plan, bit of a tidy. I will do a bit of work this afternoon, but not too much. I need some time to process the conference, and I'm waiting for some feedback from the work I handed in before I left so I don't want to get too far ahead of that.

Stockholm was very beautiful and it had lovely weather. I managed a couple of long walks, sent a postcard to the niece (and nephew but he is only a few months old) she is of an age to really appreciate her own mail;). I'd love to go back some day when my time is my own. The conference was excellent as well. I came back feeling inspired and I managed to get to know some colleagues much better, which was my aim. I'm not very good at that sort of thing, I much prefer to lurk in the corners and listen. I also did not go over my food budget--came in about £15 under, so very proud of myself. There was a very big breakfast on at the hotel (complete with waffles!) and lunches were included at the conference. On my last day I was a bit cheeky and made myself a small sandwich at breakfast as they had sliced vegetables, rolls, cold meats etc. in addition to everything else. I just wrapped it up and put it in my bag along with a bit of fruit they had a sign up saying you could take food to your room if you wanted so I don't think it was too cheeky. It saved me buying anything, and I probably wouldn't have had time to anyway!

I start some of my teaching next week, and some the week after. I'm excited to meet my students, but as usual there are so many messes and hurdles to jump through between now and then. In addition, the University has rolled out online marking, I'm dreading it.

Right, I'm off to start my day. Hugs to any and all who need or want them.

[Deleted User]

Morning Toughies, it's dull, grey and cold here this morning but I'm going to be making chutney again so I'll be nice and warm working in the kitchen. We are expecting another consignment of apples too so we'll be processing those as well, hopefully before the rain sets in as He Who Knows presses the pulp out in the garden. Today it's going to be Beetroot Chutney and Marrow and Apple chutney as I have enough of everything to make a full batch of both.

CC I'm so sorry you are feeling as stressed and distraught over your DHs illness, seeing the GP is a sensible move. This is only an idea off the top of my head but would there be the facility at your place of work to reduce your hours and go part time rather than consider giving up altogether? That would do two things, it would give you much more time to be with DH and see to his needs and also keep you out in the world with other people and other things to think about some of the time too? I think you need other people in your life when something as traumatic as cancer affects you and your loved ones, and to only be at home all the time with no one other than the sufferer might be more stressful than having the opportunity to do something else in another place for some of the time. I hope you both come to a place where the decision on what to do helps both of you!

FPK isn't Stockholm fab? I so love the old quarter and all the different coloured buildings and the harbour with the sailing ship hostel, Sweden is just such a lovely place I loved every second I was there both times we visited. I so hope to be able to go back again in the future, it really did feel like we fitted, magic!!! We're off in November to do a Scandinavian Jul Cookery course and I'm so looking forward to finding out more about the culture and food for the festivities.

Have a good day everyone, Cheers Lyn xxx.

maryb

Thanks for the reassurance - she says she's fine this morning though she'e very grumpy (I should say more than usually grumpy, we're talking teenager here).

Says she won't allow it to be GF - if only it were that simple.

I'm overreacting, I know because I had ME in my 30s and there is a theory it's caused by the same virus.

kidcat

morning toughies - mary DD18 got GF in year 10 she lost most of her school year and it was a nightmare time so I understand your worry, as has already been said better now than in six months though:)

I have sobbed all over DS9 ead teacher this morning, I got DS9 to school one minute before the deadline but the attendance guy was there taking names again.
I broke down, this week he has taken our names twice already and we have received two fines for taking DS9 on holiday last June which we only did due to the boys disabilities. I pointed out that I couldnt do any better and that if it wasnt good enough then it wasnt good enough. I have nothing left to give - I cannot get from DD7 school to DS9 school any quicker - they are 3 miles apart and its heavy traffic, I manage it in 7 minutes which is the best I can do.

Thankfully she has agreed to have the morning guy leave us alone and not take our names any more - his condescending comments every morning of ooh running a little late are we, were really getting me down, I did say yesterday no I am not I am simply running, but he doesnt seem to get it.

nuttyp

Morning everyone, got lots to do today. I have already cleaned through and put out the first load of washing onto the line. Next load is still in the machine.

Mum is feeling better today.

Maryb I have had glandular fever, and every so often I get ever so tired for a few days and then im ok again. Our doctor at the time said it can occur again. I hope your daughter hasn't got it.

Jem I too would love to move, but even as a social housing tenant I know what is out there probably isn't as nice as ive made this house. Although its not new, I try to make it all 'fit in' and work.

Tomorrow is my disaplinary hearing, I will try and post how it goes tomorrow night failing that Thursday before I take mum to catch her boat for her holiday I will report then.

I have been working with my boss the last shift and we are going to attempt to loose weight together in fact we all are!!! HAHA this is gonna be fun. I have the advantage of the WW help, so I hope I am successful. OH rang me and has said he loves me for who I am and he doesn't care if im a size 10 I wish!! or the size 16 I am. well on a bad day its an 18!! I blame it on the IBS!!! and not the cake or chocolate!!

must get showered n dressed.... take care x

jem132

Kidkat I am late everyday and every night too. If they say anything I remind them that as they have decided without consulting me to send ds9 to the special provision I will be late what they expect from me is not possible. They don't say anything anymore lol

Possession

(((Hugs))) Kidcat. Hopefully the teacher will keep him off your back. It's perfectly obvious you are not his proper targets.
Mary I hope it isn't glandular fever. Fingers crossed.
Bit of a morning here, haven't managed a cup of tea yet so it's a wonder I'm still alive. Off to have one now.