The OS Doorstep - a helpful and supportive thread in these tough times

Popperwell

Afternoon All,
There's not much happening.

I will be perhaps have a look out later to Aldi's and their supersix. For us OS'rs it seems in the current selection people are pleased to see grapes. I'll prepare a meal too and do some converting and burning files on the desktop PC.

Some weeks are more busy than others and I'm just pacing myself energy wise as this is expected to be.

Going to try and do some trips to places I know there is not much there but for the scenary and to take photo's and I don't mind what time of year it is. I will only be affected by if a bus goes there and if I can fit the journey in a day. Especially as we get less daylight at this time of year.

AOT I hope that your visit did you some good and you can settle now you are home. When you go through the thread you may see my plans to go to a ukulele band. It turns out another one in October or is it November? I forget which it is hosted by a continuity announcer on TV/DJ on local radio many years ago and you or others in this area may remember, Neville Wanless.

He now does a weekly hour long programme on Tyneside. Hospital Radio. It can be heard on line I have found.

Fitting in with learning skills and staying positive and this thread I have some over ripe bananas so thinking I may have a go at making my first banana loaf:)

I'll let you know how it goes...

Margaret54 wrote: »

I do love this time of year though, getting into the warm boots coat etc.
Pops I am so glad you got a ticket for Paul Jones:) My dh and I were at a blues concert in County Armagh a few weeks ago and he was playing with the Blues Band. He was wonderful and he looks so young still:) We had got tickets online for it and we were so pleased as we knew it would be a great night, which it was.
My dh and I went to see him at The Opera House in Belfast a few years ago and had a great night then too It is important to get out and about when we can isn't it Pops?

Margaret, I'm going to try and enjoy this time of year as I used to. Still attempt to do something even if its cooking, housework, watching more TV and still get out occasionally if the weather allows, hoping its a mild Winter.

Your concert with Paul may very well be the show I saw(but you never know if the selection of songs vary)he was promoting a new album of "Old" material remastered and re released. But they could not resist doing hits from his Manfred Mann days. He does look young and his voice is still good. I was three rows from the stage in the centre so a great view. TBH I could have had the chance to see them a few times locally but try to use my money to see a few different things.

My ticket was delivered today for his local concert(number 151 so I assume if they are being given out in the correct order not any old how)there is at least that many in the audience. It was made clear again today it has a religious/faith side to it(he's with his wife)but music is a big part too before I purchased the ticket so I will be interested to see what songs are included, what instruments are played and if others appear with them.

But the person delivering the ticket said he has heard that they are very good and its an enjoyable night. Perhaps I'll get a photo if I ask nicely, an autograph and it will be more intimate than the theatre show.

It is good to get out if at all possible. It lifts the spirit, creates memories and you feel part of the social scene even if you come home alone.

Pooky

What we need to do toughies is invent a time machine/transporter thingy. Then when DH goes to bed in the afternoons I could quickly transport over and help someone for a couple of hours, then be back for tea! I love cleaning other people's houses. I'm quite sad.

Hugs to all, sounds like everyone's in need at the mo.

DH popped his back out this morning so what mobility he did have has drastically diminished until it sorts itself out. I couldn't get him in the shower (over the bath so ruddy hopeless to get into unless you've got a good leg) so I'm hoping he's eased up enough for a bath this evening.

F@rmfoods turkey crown was lovely, the putter edge was dry but lovely and moist inside, having some again tonight mixed with last nights leftover veg and made into pies....yum!

lynsayjane

Hello all,

hugs to those needing them, doesn't seem to be a great start to the week for lots of us.

*** warning, self pity grumble, feel free to ignore***
Having a little bubble on the sofa which begun in the car home from work. Last year I achieved a huge challenge that I never thought possible and won a long weekend trip of a lifetime. Today marks the anniversary of my coming home. I know when reading some of your posts and the hard times you are going through that I have absolutely no right to sit and feel so sad but the associated memories it brings just won't subside.
Despite the amazing three days I had away I was just as excited to come home as I was to go. At the time I was in a relationship (not with my current BF) which at the time was wonderful and I missed the very bones off him while I was away. The feeling was mutual and the ex took a half day off work to pick me up at the airport. We dropped off my cases at home and went out for a nice lunch, did a food shop for the house and cuddled on the sofa watching movies all afternoon/evening. I was probably the happiest I had been in a number of years.
That weekend we had a wonderful evening out and everything was perfect. The following night he went out on the Sunday with a friend for the bank holiday and various things happened that spelled the beginning of the end and the best part of four months of heartbreak for me.

My current BF and I kind of fell into a relationship at the time I told the ex to go for good and my BF is a really great guy, he's kind and caring and can't seem to say no to me for anything haha But it's very different to how that relationship was and the way we felt acted. It's so hard to explain. I have to admit that despite being together seven months and us pretty much being part of each others family I've never actually been able to use the L word. the thought hurts too much to feel that way again.

Anyway that's my whinge for today and no doubt once I've looked back at all my holiday snaps, made a cuppa tea and started my flylady challenges I'll feel better.
Sorry to offload when so many people have bigger problems, just one of those times when I struggle to have a 'real' person to talk to. Although my current BF knows all about the last one (they were actually friends!!) it's not really appropriate to tell him I still miss my ex at times.

Hugs to everyone
LJ
x

Popperwell

Don't apologise for feelings/emotions lynsayjane, they are what they are and need working through and no less important to anyone elses trials/tribulations on here.

Today as my ticket for the concert was delivered and I talked to the person it came out about losing loved one's(his wife has lost a brother this past month)my Mum was mentioned(other things)and someone he knows who works in medicine says loss can take at least 2 years to come to terms with. Yet some people expect you to be over such an event in weeks/months and that is also true of many employers. They say other events in life have a similar affect on us emotionally so why should it not be so with a relationship.

As you say, it will come right, you will pick yourself up and you will throw yourself into life again but for now this is the right thing for you and though often said there is nothing wrong in having a cry. It is a safety valve. Every time it happens, I suspect it is another stage in recovering and hopefully emotional pain will ease.

gailey_2

lynsayjane wrote: »

Hello all,

hugs to those needing them, doesn't seem to be a great start to the week for lots of us.

*** warning, self pity grumble, feel free to ignore***
Having a little bubble on the sofa which begun in the car home from work. Last year I achieved a huge challenge that I never thought possible and won a long weekend trip of a lifetime. Today marks the anniversary of my coming home. I know when reading some of your posts and the hard times you are going through that I have absolutely no right to sit and feel so sad but the associated memories it brings just won't subside.
Despite the amazing three days I had away I was just as excited to come home as I was to go. At the time I was in a relationship (not with my current BF) which at the time was wonderful and I missed the very bones off him while I was away. The feeling was mutual and the ex took a half day off work to pick me up at the airport. We dropped off my cases at home and went out for a nice lunch, did a food shop for the house and cuddled on the sofa watching movies all afternoon/evening. I was probably the happiest I had been in a number of years.
That weekend we had a wonderful evening out and everything was perfect. The following night he went out on the Sunday with a friend for the bank holiday and various things happened that spelled the beginning of the end and the best part of four months of heartbreak for me.

My current BF and I kind of fell into a relationship at the time I told the ex to go for good and my BF is a really great guy, he's kind and caring and can't seem to say no to me for anything haha But it's very different to how that relationship was and the way we felt acted. It's so hard to explain. I have to admit that despite being together seven months and us pretty much being part of each others family I've never actually been able to use the L word. the thought hurts too much to feel that way again.

Anyway that's my whinge for today and no doubt once I've looked back at all my holiday snaps, made a cuppa tea and started my flylady challenges I'll feel better.
Sorry to offload when so many people have bigger problems, just one of those times when I struggle to have a 'real' person to talk to. Although my current BF knows all about the last one (they were actually friends!!) it's not really appropriate to tell him I still miss my ex at times.

Hugs to everyone
LJ
x

im confused easily done?did you go away with ex or current boyfreind? is current boyfreind the one or just nice company?

hope you feel better soon.

I find when i reflect back on same time ie same dat or month even a year ago on daughters 3rd birthday how happy we were big party, this year feels very different.

well been mixed day despite my positivity.

hubby went to cab who were not really very useful.

he went to council to apply housing big wad paperwork to fill in tonight.

cab told he should apply for jsa online but really need to speak to someone in job centre as few questions.

he got hoe filled in jsa form.
house forms need to be filled in and backdated to today.

Hubby was stressed and snappy went round to his mums whos been ill ad came out hospital yesterday.

I tidied.
chased after very naught 2year old whos manage to break 2things and not sleep today.
rang agents to rearrange inspection and moan about their poor service.
rang tax credits kept me on hold 20mins then were quite abrupts as couldent remember a paswsword they posting orms as cant be done online or on phone.

so wheels in motion but nothing actually acheived.

still need acas and get legal advice over lost job.

hubbys been at libary preparing for tommorows interveiw no hes nervous as all eggs one basket so to speak.

I did say yes on local board to some free party stuff.

so i cooked a frozen pizza and some value chips.

had some party boxes like macccy d happy meals
had napkins , mask and hat put all in box with cheap fary cake and used ree banner and some free balloons got for free from halfix big lunch pack.

so all this hoardig of free party stuff comes in handy have starwars banner for little mans 3rd birthday now.

I think shes had good brthday and noticed we not much poorer.

shes liked her cheap 2nd hand pressies.
she had a cake
she had decorations.
shes been preschool and went pizza hut kids eat free yesterday so we made the most of bad situation.

just should be such a happy occassion and we both stll down confused.

bewildered how so many can be on benefits as they so complex and difficult to claim. hate being at mercy of diffrent governement departments.

all 3kids really need bed.
I have meeting tonight at preschool. could do with out but promised.

so i suppose today was a start.

had a few quiet tears by myself this morning.
watched crap day time tv in background.
nearly cleared the laundry and tidied the airing cupboard:D
hoovered downstairs.

Thank you everyone for all your kind words and support,

providing we get paid final wage on 25th we will get maor stuff paid may have to default on some things for a month and may have to make further cutbacks to family life.
Going to have to be so careful so need oldstyle even more now.

Popperwell

Gailey,
I too have sometimes found CAB struggle to help as good as they are and of course it can depend no matter how well intentioned who you get. How complicated the problem is...

As I said to LJ, its fine to cry...its a natural response. You've some big issues going on.

Slightly political but this why I get so annoyed with many(not all) politicians who are so hard on many who are trying to make the best of a difficult situation and are mainly genuine. One size does not fit all. I am sure you'll succeed. Even it seems impossible. x

gailey_2

monnagran wrote: »

OK. You only have to be away for a couple of days and it takes hours to catch up.

Cheapskate: Sorry about the County Press, I can never make sense of their Online version. They never seem to have the same articles as I read in the actual newspaper and I can never find their online features in the paper. Ridiculous really as the Rev (with photo) was on the front page on Sept 6th and on page9 (with photo) on Sept 13th. Still, I think, hope, that will be it for a while. I want a bit of peace now for a few days.

Fuddle: Those slippers are darling. You clever old stick you. Glad to hear you are liking Aldi. Our new one should be open by the end of the month. I did hear some time back that it wouldn't be ready until next spring, but last week it said that it would open this month. Don't know what happened there but I can't wait. It'll be quite a drive, about 20/25 minutes, but it'll be worth it.

Jem: Sorry to hear about your difficulties. Any chance of the nasty neighbours moving? It happened to me once, just as I thought I couldn't stand it any longer the ratbag moved.:j:j

Ginny: How lovely for your DS, and even lovelier for you! We are in the midst of wedding preps here. It is supposed to be a very simple affair but it seems to be costing quite a bit and causing a load of fuss. Thank heavens they didn't go for a splashy event!

SQ: I'm with you on the subject of unexpected visitors. It always happens when you've had a really laid back slummy day doesn't it? I don't know about you but I wouldn't dream of descending on anybody without due notice.

Gailey: It's hard to look on the bright side when everything is so awful. I suggest that you try to snatch tiny moments of pleasure where you notice them. Sort of - "this sandwich is delicious", - "I'm really going to enjoy this bath", "I'm looking forward to stretching out in bed tonight". It's not much but it's better than nothing. I think they call it 'living in the moment'.

Kidcat: You, my lovely, are simply in overload. I don't have any helpful ideas but have lots of hugs and rest as much as is possible.

I can now see patches of floor in the ex-dining room which is a HUGE step forward. I must start now on this ghastly, enormous tip of a place. It will take ages so am planning to do it half an hour at a time.

Starting ...........NOW!

x

You so right there.

Been trying to do that

enjoy seeing daughters happy face.

tried make hubby smiled and failed.

quite enjoyed the wright stuff whilst do housework this morning.

The 2year old as naughty as hes been and very certainly living up to his name is so cuddly, smiley and kissies but hes just as naughty as the cute dog in the movie.

enjoying few dregs value wine left in ride whilst girls have splash about in bath,

Tonight when get back from meeting i intend to have a choc bar nice coffee watch something on planner whilst perusing useless crap on pinterest and escape a bit.

Thanks so much margaret54 often wonder how you and family been,You were so kind and helpful in past never forget that and neither will my little baby boy 2.5 now buts still my baby.

Nice to see all osers in one place the touh threads got bit fragemented for bit moved to diffrent boards then there were 2.

often wonder how sammy k and her family are doing?

I know we will get by.loads of other people we know sadly have encountered same things. just when your in it at time seems like the worlds ended.

we have out health and 3lush kids and each other keep reminding hubby of that.

As my nanna said always someone worse off than you.

just feel i needed to mope last few days and mourn the old life which in reality wasent all that great anyway.

Would love to get more financial security, stability and better work/life balance for future.

We make the descion based on current facts at time.
trying not to beat myself up over mistakes made
I know we need to move forward sure is scary.

Right now as we keeping it to ourselves.
feels like we living a lie to freinds and family but need some time.

kidcat

Gailey - ((Hugs))

lynsayjane

gailey wrote: »

im confused easily done?did you go away with ex or current boyfreind? is current boyfreind the one or just nice company?

hope you feel better soon.

I find when i reflect back on same time ie same dat or month even a year ago on daughters 3rd birthday how happy we were big party, this year feels very different.

Not to worry Gailey, I rambled a bit haha

Wasn't away with either. I work as an organiser for Ann Summers, they had a competition last year and sent 63 of us away. I was coming home from there to the ex. The current Bf was just a friend at the time.

It's so frustrating dealing with red tape and bureaucracy, so many forms and none of them seem to be in much of a hurry to get any answers for you.
I hope you start seeing some responses and movement soon. Fingers crossed for the OH's interview.

floss2

savingqueen wrote: »

.....Then hit 3 separate supermarkets for essentials (and some cakes for a friend coming over later)- this is so small and faint, no-one will read it and therefore the cake eating session didn't happen right :rotfl:)....

When I read this I had my glasses on which made it all big & shouty - no sneaky cakes SQ! :rotfl: :rotfl:

Pooky wrote: »

What we need to do toughies is invent a time machine/transporter thingy. Then when DH goes to bed in the afternoons I could quickly transport over and help someone for a couple of hours, then be back for tea! I love cleaning other people's houses.....

Fancy bringing your time-machine to Blackpool?! I could do with a hand to clean our home up a bit!

Kez, was it you who is coming to Blackpool in October? Is your visit still on hun? Let me know the dates & I will dig out some info for you.