The OS Doorstep - a helpful and supportive thread in these tough times

monnagran

Fuddle: Did it occur to you to ask Auntie to ring your sister and tell her about the state of your Mum's house as she lives closer and that you have tried and tried, over and over again to make a difference to your Mums life and it's all been in vain. If Auntie is so concerned why hasn't she been round cleaning and tidying?
No, you are going to take all the guilt again when you have done everything you can and been repulsed every time. How dare anyone take you to task over things you have already tried to do and they haven't. There is a rule in our house that you do not ask anyone to do anything that you aren't prepared to do yourself.
Try introducing that rule to your dozy relatives.

Can you tell that I am shouting?

I am crossing everything crossable that you have good news about your move and can get away from all these family pressures.

In the meantime... hugs, hugs, and more hugs. You are a truly beautiful soul and don't deserve all this nastiness.

x

mardatha

Well that's what I would have done fuddle, would have calmly said if you're so worried then you do it, and get my sister to help. And hung up. LOL then they'll hopefully all fall out wi you and you'll get peace

Mrs_Chip

I'm with Mar - what an effing cheek!

Sheila - hope Rosie is ok, know the feeling, we watch poor mog daily to see if we need to make 'that' journey. I am such a wimp, not sure I will be able to, but think it is unfeir to let OH deal with it on his own as he will be hit hard by it.

FairyPrincessk

Fuddle, the way I see it, I have some lovely people in my life. I also have a few who have done me the favour of falling out with me.

It isn't your job to manage your mother's addictions or the fall out from it. You've offered your support in a number of ways,and been commendably understanding. Next time, just point that out to your nearest and dearest and let them know that if they would like to try something else then by all means, they're welcome to. Of course, given the opportunity to use their own time, resources and emotions, they may be less sanctimonious. In the meantime you have your own household to run.

Fingers crossed for when your husband's boss is back!

nuttyp

Hi everyone, had a busy morning cleaning up. Eldest DD popped in, shes gone off to meet a friend. Then youngest rang to say she had forgotten her glasses, so I took them to her. I went out to my car a cat had decided to poop in my gravel. What can I do to stop it happening?? Please it really stinks......

I an having a really tired day today. I am taking my AD'S as prescribed but I could honestly sit and cry. I feel totally worn out. I had planned to re arrange the kitchen bits n bobs, all I managed was a 'lick n a promise' to the work tops.


Fuddle, I am sorry your aunt thinks you have the magic answers. If she is so concerned maybe she should start trying to sort her out. You can only help if she wants to be helped.

Have a good day everyone x

PRINCESSX87

I’ve been sitting here reading about your situation Fuddle not knowing whether I should reply or not.
Being a daughter in a similar experience (However no where near as bad as you clearly) It angers me that your being held responsible for your mothers issues.

What more is, Its only after you get off the phone that you relies you could have answered every nit picked question with an answer asking other’s why their not prepared to step in.
I have a question for you lovely!! “WHY SHOULD YOU?”

You have a life of your own which needs your full attention. By any means I’m not saying that your extended family isn’t however, All the time your racked with worry, stress or doubt you’ll miss the important things for you!

You mum can only make her own mistakes and learn from them. The problem is, all the time someone / anyone covers for her it’s giving her the green light to keep drinking. She will only quit when the brown stuff hits her hard. Until then your wasting precious time & pure air.
I am too the black sheep of my family because I’ve decided to take control of my own life. If that means that people get left behind then that’s only something they’ve created.

I really feel for you Fuddle. I understand that the pressure of family can make you ill. Please do not let it get that far before you learn to cut people off / out.

lynsayjane

Well both my 'workmen' have been and two of four landlord red tapes have been cut. More importantly though I got a call from the financial advisor to confirm the last hurdle in the move has been crossed and I can exchange contracts on the new house. What a relief! Am currently celebrating with a hot chocolate haha party animal! Next task is to try my flylady skills for the first time on the kitchen.

Fuddle, I haven't been here long enough to know the ins and outs of your situation but it is so frustrating when people take the pointing fingers option rather than the productive one. Your aunt should have really said 'here's the situation, lets all muck in and help'. From other comments it sounds like a move is the best thing for you so fingers crossed you get it.
Keep smiling!

LJ x

[Deleted User]

Great news LYNSAYJANE really pleased for you, enjoy your hot choc and your new home, Cheers Lyn xxx.

Molly41

Hello x
Just about to read back. It has been one of the toughest (but not quite) times of my life this past week. I had to discharge myself from hospital as my dad was in intensive care with a stroke - although he is much better now. Yesterday my boy westie doggy, Mr Chay Chay (named by my children) had to be put to sleep as he had a huge cancerous growth. He was my first dog and went to live with my parents after my father's mother died as he liked a quiet life and disliked teenage boys (of which there are quite a few) visiting the house. He was devoted to my dad and of course we cannot tell him as he will be devastated.

Anyway Im on enforced bed rest today as the physical stress has laid me low but up and fighting for another day.

Kind Regards x

[Deleted User]

NUTTY I've just re read your post honey, I'm sorry you're feeling sad and unhappy today, consider yourself thoroughly hugged pet, and don't think of letting go until you feel better. Hope you feel much more positive really soon, we're always here for you through the sad and happy times and there will always be hugs and happy thoughts whenever you need them, Love and Hugs Lyn xxx.