The OS Doorstep - a helpful and supportive thread in these tough times

mardatha

Fuddle every year is a winter wonderland up here Is a good job I like snow lol

moments_of_sanity

EstherH wrote: »

Moments_of_sanity, so sorry you have CFS. From what you have just said about not having the energy to go shopping, work etc., it sounds like you have the answer to the redundancy question? You will manage somehow and will feel much better for not having to go out to work when you are exhausted. Esther x

Yes, I guess I do really, it's just that stepping into the unknown that is scary and as DH still doesn't have a permanent job it's going to be a time of worry I think.

Both DD's are out so just DH and me here alone for a couple of hours so going to make the most of the peace and quiet - we very rarely et anytime alone now as the kids are at an age where they don't have a bedtime. Obviously we are sensible with them but I don't go to bed much later than about 10.30pm and the eldest DD (nearly 18) goes about 5 mins before I do!

It's at times like this that I wish I could knit, I do a lot of cross stitching but when I get bored of that I am not sure what I am going to do

Well done to all the clever children out there getting great results in exams, of all sorts. We can all feel very proud of their achievements no matter how big or small :T. My youngest DD is not academic at all and she is worrying about her GCSE results next week as they 'won't compare', as much as I keep telling her we never ever compare them as they are individuals I think she will feel like she has let us down so if anyone has any useful words of wisdom I can give her I would be very grateful.

Nargleblast

Congratulations to all those OS offspring who passed their A-levels! Just shows the work ethic hasn't died out totally.
And for those who weren't so successful - you can always try again, or even go in a different direction for your career. There will always be opportunities, you just have to keep your eyes and your minds open.

Fuddle - sounds like events are coming together for a move to Dorset. If it comes to pass there will be many benefits.

No longer will you be around to clear away your mother's empties - hope your sister won't step in to do this, as it only supports your mother in her habit. I am sure the support group for families of alcoholics will be a great help.

And, as someone who has uprooted children to a different part of the country, I can confidently predict that your girls will settle just fine and make new friends very quickly. As will you and your OH.

Nargleblast

Moments of sanity - not every child is destined to be a rocket scientist or brain surgeon. If your DD is sure she worked as hard as she could, and did her best, then that is sufficient to be proud of.
Whatever her results, I am sure they will show in which direction her talents lie. And there are many different routes to a career - sixth form or college? A-levels? Diplomas? Apprenticeships? She has 70 or so years ahead of her, there will always be chances and opportunities for her to continue her education and personal development.

EstherH

I don't know if this will apply, but we always told our children that we would much rather go to parents evening and be told that they had been well behaved, hard working etc., and that they had tried their best and got low grades, than that they didn't try but got A's because they were clever and didn't need to try. Also, Ds not academic, neither are others I know but they have done ok for themselves in this world because they work hard and are 'nice' people. I haven't expressed that very well but hope it helps. It isn't all about results even though that's what they keep pushing at us. Esther x

Pinkdebster

Hi everyone

Had a rough week so not been posting, but have been reading

I was very academic as a child and was (and still am!) a perfectionist. I pushed myself through school, college and then Uni and have a collection of exams that anyone would be proud of. I then managed to secure a really good (but very high pressured) job. But good jobs like that are also very demanding..........I was an estimator for a large construction company and was therefore responsible for costing up projects of several millions. I would wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night, worrying if I'd priced for all the windows etc.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is this...........I worked my socks off and got the highest grades just to get said job - after a few years, I literally burnt myself out and got so sick that I had to have most of my stomach removed due to stomach ulcers. The stress of all the work and worry etc did this. (I was also a single parent through most of this). I now have had to give up work due to ill health (feeding tube etc) and I haven't yet hit 50. So I tell the children that they should always give everything their very best but that the highest grades and best paid jobs don't mean everything. So long as they are healthy and happy - at the end of the day, that's all that really matters.

So congratulations to all those receiving such great results but encourage them to work towards a job that they will really love and will find rewarding.

Other news..........I've almost finished the final few granny squares and am then going to start the long task of sewing them altogether. It's multi-coloured (I've been using up all my old balls of wall) - I just can't decide if I want a dark or light edging (Funny how that's the most stressing thing I have to worry about nowadays!!)

As an update to my bio, I met my OH when my daughter was 15 (I'd been on my own with her for the whole of her life and it was a real struggle!) and he has two children so I gained another two. They are all older now and my step-daughter has a little baby. Money is tight for us as we are now living on one wage so I've gone full circle - I started adult life poor - got a fantastic job with so much money I couldn't spend it fast enough - and am now back to OS living.

And you know what.........I much prefer this way of life!

VJsmum

moments_of_sanity wrote: »

Yes, I guess I do really, it's just that stepping into the unknown that is scary and as DH still doesn't have a permanent job it's going to be a time of worry I think.

Both DD's are out so just DH and me here alone for a couple of hours so going to make the most of the peace and quiet - we very rarely et anytime alone now as the kids are at an age where they don't have a bedtime. Obviously we are sensible with them but I don't go to bed much later than about 10.30pm and the eldest DD (nearly 18) goes about 5 mins before I do!

It's at times like this that I wish I could knit, I do a lot of cross stitching but when I get bored of that I am not sure what I am going to do

Well done to all the clever children out there getting great results in exams, of all sorts. We can all feel very proud of their achievements no matter how big or small :T. My youngest DD is not academic at all and she is worrying about her GCSE results next week as they 'won't compare', as much as I keep telling her we never ever compare them as they are individuals I think she will feel like she has let us down so if anyone has any useful words of wisdom I can give her I would be very grateful.

I know how you feel as our, younger, DS is not academic. So while praising DD for fantastic results, we also have to be aware of DS. We have always acknowledged that it is harder for him and he knows we help as much as we can. Fortunately he is very good at sport and DD isn't so we use that to illustrate that we all have different skills. My words to them both are to keep as many options open for as long as possible.

My mum had 6 children and always said that she was happy as long as we did our best, whatever that was. If I am honest, I am the most academic of the 6 but my next oldest brother, who truly wasn't, is self made, has worked damned hard and has a lot more money than I do!

Saying that, I failed my A levels first time, and only just scraped them second. I would now not get on to the course that I teach :rotfl: I have been able to reassure a couple of DDs friends, who did not do as well as hoped, that there is always a way (as stated above). I got into university twice, and have 2 degrees - one a masters. So never say die!

Popperwell

Bridlington Kezlou? I seem to be following you around...

Does this look familiar...





I struggled to the Summer Spectacular event in Darlington today. Thought my foot had improved enough...not by the time I came home and there was hardly any stalls/entertainment as promised.

The newspaper report makes me think I was at a totally different event to what they were saying. Very poor.

Perhaps more stalls will set up by the weekend and it will be much better. If it stays as it is I will not be returning...

Glad you had a great day with Fuddle.

kezlou

pops we saw the harbour and the boats, we were on the opposite side where the diggers were.

hey next time we might end up seeing each other, you'll have to pop over and say hello!

DS1 adored her, said she was very cute and funny, he acts like a moody teenager but he love little ones. He was so proud of her climbing up the mast, he told my OH about it.

DS2 was raving on about the lightsabers and said he's going to find another one for dd2

hahaha well you were telling them to eat theys! Oh and you were evil telling them to be quiet before they got to my house. Got my own way though Soon had them running around.


The pantry we have is the very old fashioned type in the kitchen, and its my only food cupboard space. Fuddle was very concerned about us, so i said look in here. She saw the bags of rice, tins etc and said now you don't have to worry, we'll be fine


About 6pm i got a phonecall so i took ds2 to watch a my friends son in a local match. DS2 didn't want to go but i made him for a change. We all came back here including my friend and her two children and finished off the rest of the picnic food. I made far to much earlier. OH came in and we all sat chatting, then he dropped them off just after 10pm.

Shattered now though.

The way i see it, my children have always been encouraged to try they hardest. If they do that i'll be happy and do you know what they know it. As soon as i said, i'm not expecting the highest grades, all i want to know is that you tried your hardest. If you try thats the most important thing.
Guess what thats what my boys do and i'm so pleased with them. DS1 left Primary with the highest grades possible out of his entire year. In science and maths he was the only one to leave the highest in Level 5(a). They couldn't give him level 6 as it wasn't in the criteria.
ds2 is slowly catching, but they are both very clever and get bored very quickly so they attention span laspses.
Debster thats exactly what i say to my boys.

nlj1520 hope everything works out today chick!


Shopping wise i do that with my boys, they know how much we have and work it out together. You can regulary her ds2 saying thats ridiculous, it wasn't that much last week
Oh and were always in the bargain bins
If they interested in maths, my boys are very logical, its a really good way to keep them occupied.


SQ your day sounds fab!
MOS sorry to hear about your diagnosis

Mar we love the winter, just playing out in the snow fab!
But i'm enjoying the sun, just want to stay for a while longer.

kezlou

No-Bake Chocolate Oat Bars

76g of butter
100g dark brown sugar
1 tsp vanilla flavouring
255g oats
100g of milk chocolate
2 large tablespoons of peanut butter

Melt butter and add in the brown sugar and vanilla
Then add in the oats
Cook on low heat for about 3 minutes till blended. Take off
Heat and press 1/2 of the mixture into a bottom of a baking tray.

Melt chocolate and peanut butter. then spread the mixture over the oat mixture .
Then add the rest of the oat mixture on top.
Then play the cake tin in the fridge for a couple of hours or over night.
Once solidified take out of the tin and chop into pieces if you wish.