The OS Doorstep - a helpful and supportive thread in these tough times

kidcat

Fuddle I think that's a very sensible idea,

[Deleted User]

FUDDLE you're a STAR!!! You have come up with a plan that hopefully will get Mum back on track. I think involving people outside the family and without the emotional ties, particularly retired school teachers is very, very savvy. I'm really glad one of those ladies is taking Mum to the doctors too, she will make sure the right services are involved and even if your sister and Mum are cross that 'outsiders' are now in the picture they will be grateful enough if Mum can be helped. You've done a good thing there love, stop feeling guilty, I think you are a very brave woman and a good and caring daughter, many people would just have walked away, not you though love, you're OK you are, Lyn xx.

mardatha

Fuddle - maybe it took this to get your mum to give herself a shake. If it was you or the sister she would probably ignore you or just argue... now that these ladies have stepped in she will be so embarrassed that it might be the shock she needs.

mrsdwhite

what a day! Well, it was an awful weekend, as I posted yesterday. DH began putting the wheels in motion for finding another job and called CCCS about his DMP as obviously our financial situation would change. He broke down on the phone to them and then again afterwards.
It was left to me to call the GP and get him an emergency appointment where he was signed off sick with depression for 4 weeks. I tried to hold the fort at work this morning and try to sort out the rota for the week without him which led to me having a mini melt down as I am faced with the problems of not enough staff and no one to rely on to be there along side me as DH had with me.
I gave my notice and will finish this thursday at 3pm which gives the company until then to find someone to take over.
DH is still signed off as sick so we have some lea way with that and his DMP payments have been reduced to £50 p/m (normally £1000) for the next few months to allow us some breathing room.
Realistically speaking DH will not return to work with this company. Therefore we need to look at finding a home and jobs. Though we have said we will take whatever jobs we can for now regardless. I did work for an agency for nurseries for a while, I could go back to that if I have to. We can move to my parents as a worst case scenario, though that would mean changing DD school which we'd rather not do unless we have to.
I'm guessing that the authorities won't want to help much if we are making ourselves unemployed and homeless?? Not that they really have to if we can move to my parents and find whatever job there is.
Looking on the bright side at least we will have our first Christmas day together with our DD! and the presents are all bought, and I got her bday present with club card boost vouchers on sat so thats not a worry.
I have to get through to 3pm thursday in one piece, which feels like an eternity away right now. I'm working all day tomorrow and all day wednesday quite possibly without a break. But at least I know that 3pm thursday is the first day of the rest of my life.

burtha

Fuddle ..hang in there you have done the right thing ,you can only give it a try and see what happens

I have been reading along as I can ...not a lot of time free
Dd had op end of last week , she looks like she has been hit by a bus ,came out on morphine ,so feel like I am running around like a headless chicken ,sorting younger kids ,working 2jobs ,trying to do housework at home and dd ,worried about her ,she is putting a brave face on when others are there but she is not well and trying to get on with it ,her hand /arm is bandaged up to her elbow with splints in ,she can manage to hold baby but not much else...fun times
Results back in 3 weeks ,lymph nodes checked out next week we think

OK better go and feed the hubbie ,just came in from work
Hang in there everyone xxx

[Deleted User]

Hang on in there MrsD, keep Thursday firmly fixed in your sights and every hour is one hour less in an intolerable situation for you. You've got a way out now, go for it and we're here to listen when it inevitably becomes an even heavier burden than it is now. Good girl, the world is now the mollusc of your choice, or it will be after Thursday!!!

kidcat

MrsDwhite - hugs, Thursday is really not that far now, stay strong

Burtha - hugs, hope DD improves quickly and that the results are all clear, thinking of you

Softstuff

Apologise for the lack of comments, just been having my monthly migraine (no need for sympathy, really it's not too bad - I feel it coming, I go to bed, sleep it off, wake the next day slightly fuzzy). And as I'm recovering a giant tree is about to be removed next to our home. In large stages. With a crane. Mulched as they go along. So that'll be thrilling. Ahem.

Fuddle, your mum is very lucky to have you, you should feel very proud of how you're handling this.

MrsDWhite, we're all hanging in there with you. And we'll all celebrate with you on Thursday too.

Sounds like you're having some progress NurseMaggie. Even if it is a bit messy. I'd take the plaster covered stuff outside and give em a whack before vaccing, if you haven't already.

KateP23, it may not be *exactly* the same mincemeat recipe, I sort of adapt each year, but it'll be near as dammit.

Fruit Mincemeat

3 large grated apples (I leave the skin on and don't mind what kind)
225g shredded suet
800g mixed fruit
200g chopped mixed peel
350g soft brown sugar (I use raw sugar over here, but not sure if that's even available in England)
zest and juice 2 small oranges or 1 large one
zest and juice 2 lemons (or in my case, 1 fresh lemon zested and juiced, 1 squirt from the bottle in the fridge)
50g slivered almonds
4 tsp mixed spice
1/2 tsp cinnamon
2 tsp nutmeg
6 tablespoons whisky

combine all apart from whisky and leave 12 hours.

preheat oven to 120 degrees, cover with foil and cook for 3 hours

stir as it cools and stir in whisky.

pack in sterilised jars.

Funny you should mention it now, mine is in the oven as we speak!

SpikyHedgehog

((Fuddle)) please don't feel bad for asking the other ladies to go and help your mam - you cannot do what they are doing, for one reason you're too far away. For another, your mam will listen to them more than you or your sister. If she'd broken her leg, you wouldn't feel guilty about asking for help from a doctor to set it, so don't feel bad that you've asked for help that people can give.

The hamper sounds a great idea.

I'd get the girls to give me a hand with the wreath, and put it up as 'all their own work'

I got a wreath from the carol service at DS2's primary school a few years ago (someone donated the wreaths so all the money went to the school PTA funds) while feeling awful with a flare up of asthma that landed me with horrible steroid tablets. I then realised I didn't have anyway of hanging the wreath up so had to leave it in the back garden... I do now have a suction wreath hook that can stick to the front door. Of course, since then, I've not had a wreath...

kidcat and savingqueen, thank you - he's starting to make new friends as well!

Softstuff

My wreath has a long bit of curling ribbon tied to it, that goes over the door and way down the other side where I have a knob to tie it to!

Just had a bit of amusement. Was putting the mincemeat into jars. Earlier this year I bought a wide mouth funnel (by Bell, the jar people) when I had a voucher. And later I've purchased some jars by the same manufacturer (I splashed out, they're pretty and the new lids are very easy to come by here - I like a good seal). So, anyway, I'm using the funnel, which fits exactly into these jars and when you pack it down, it leaves the correct air gap at the top. And I'm quite ridiculously thrilled. And the jars, all the same size with all matching lids (no figuring out what goes on what) It makes the job so much easier it almost feels like cheating (bearing in mind, this is the 7th year I've done this and the first year I've purchased equipment for it).

I wonder at this stage if my head would explode with excitement if I ever got the crappy kitchen (with one working hob) replaced :rotfl::rotfl: Probably best avoided.