The OS Doorstep - a helpful and supportive thread in these tough times

paidinchickens

SQ

Our local "best school" has a terrible drug problem. I know every school has issues but these "best schools" with the best parents on the best incomes don't have a scooby on what their kids spend their "lunch" money on.

The best schools are not always what they're cracked up to be. The Head of the best was stealing school funds as well until he was caught, not much was said about him getting the boot.

We sent our boys to a normal middle of the range school because we didn't want robots (well I may want a robot who can clean windows)

PiC x

savingqueen

Mar - you are doing the right thing, listening to your body, a lot of people don't do that and end up worse. Hope you feel perkier soon.

Nursemaggie - hope you get your winter preps sorted soon and hope your treatment side effects don't last for long.

Thanks PIC - DS will hopefully end up in a middle of the range school too. Definitely won't get into the top couple and don't want him going to the local schools, not only for poor teaching standards, low Ofsted etc but for issues like behaviour, drugs etc. If my plan works, he will get a decent school. I am relieved DS didn't get into the grammars really as the expenditure would have also been top of the range and DS would have been towards the bottom both academically and financially. DS7 might need something different, he is very bright but we will look at schools for him when the time comes.

Felt quite down today and unable to concentrate properly. Did some housework this morning and then went into town and bumped into a friend who persuaded me to go for a coffee. So I had a non essential spends blip but felt so much better after. Back to the plan now though, can't get back into my coffee shop addiction - was trying to hold out til near Christmas. Oh well tomorrow is a new day.

kidcat

PIC that's very good advice, and I fully agree. We are unfortunate and have no option for high schools as we are a small town. But given the choice that's the way I would be looking.

Fuddle I believe we have it too, and from my Facebook wall it seems everyone I know got it, so hopefully everyone will get it. In my case it will pay a little of our debit caused when they forgot they were supplying us gas and electricity!

SQ clearly is the weather for these moods, we had good bright weather today and I have achieved loads. Finally got DD8 project finished and have even had a good tidy of kitchen and dining room.

Ds16 is off college today having slept for his two days off he was clearly ill but with no symptoms, of course today he came down looking awful, took him to doctor who have him lots of meds as he has ear chest and throat infection!

Mardatha glad you have given us a wave.

ivyleaf

oh kidcat your poor DS16! Wishing him well soon. i hope he won't be too anxious about being to ill for college x

nursemaggie - I really empathise about your son's room. Our son is in his late twenties and does keep himself clean, but his room looks like a litter bin. He brings in fish and chips, or packets of crisps and drinks, and just doesn't bring the packaging downstairs to the bin! It desperately needs redecorating and a new carpet and curtains, but it can't be done while it's so full of carp. I've no idea why he has such a mental block about it.

mar - glad you're okay-ish. Hope your get-up-and-go comes back soon!

chickens11

Lyn....That was very kind offer from your neighbours, also your husband done them a kindness, always good to get on with the neighbours enjoy your night out...
Pooky.....I went to my drs (tea il always ill) in July and said that my hearing is bad in one ear , so he checked them both and said you dont have any wax so it must be age related,(56 yrs young), so he reffered me to audioology which I went to, they done hearing checks , me with headphones on and different high and low level sounds, after the test she said you need a hearing aid , story short, and that I will go on waiting list and it be December before I will have one.......

A few weeks past and I had another appointment come in from ENT dept hospital to say I need to see a dr , strory short, she said would I have a scan so I said yes what on my ear, she said no its a MRI brain scan..:eek::eek:......Its come in for November 8 th saturday morn.......I phoned my dr and he said that as I have tinnitus and hearing loss and tingling lips I will be scanned for a acoustic neuroma tumour, I have 3 out of 3 symptoms......I started to get tingling lips about a month ago and got quite worried id had a mini stroke so I went to drs and he said no mini stroke but ive got a cold sore....:mad:, he gave me cream but it as never turned into sores, it may be a tumour growing and its pressing on a nerve to my lips thats what my dr now thinks, so I will have the MRI and see what the results come back, im a bit worried but what can I do ......My foot is much the same as yesterday , ive only had the op on Monday so its early days , ive got my oh wheelchair its a shower chair really and I wheel myself in to the kitchen where I dont have to get out of it and I washed up and cleaned the worktops, they are my height in chair,:D, then I wheeled myself in the bathroom and cleaned the loo and sink and had a wipe around with anti bacterial cloths , after that I had a shower still in the shower chair and had nice shower, took loads a time to get dried and dressed but eventually come out smelling sweet....ha ha ...No way will I go dirty , where theres a will theres a way .......I cant hoover or wash floors so my DIL said she will come and hoover through.....:DOh why do I have to be the queen of clean , im a bit fussy over the home , but there I live how I want to live , I will be back on here very soon as I will read this last page posts then come back with comments .....
(.Sheila was shegar , now chickens)

jackyann

Hello, am a regular on the forum, and often on this bit, but for some reason, haven't looked at "doorstep" before.
I just wanted to say something supportive to those who are anxious about their children's school.
Over many, many years, I have learned to be very wary of the "best" schools (as "paidinchickens" points out, so many are about the sizzle not the steak!). My advice is:
Keep in touch with the school, support them as best you can
Talk frankly with your kids about the importance of education. Tell them how much you want to support them to be the best they can be.
Praise them.
Where at all possible encourage an after-school or out-of-school hobby. Whether it's sport, voluntary work or a group like Scouts, Guides or Woodcraft Folk, it boosts self-esteem, helps them mix socially and gives them a helpful focus.
My kids all went to what would best be described as a "bog standard" comprehensive. We had all the usual neighbours who drove their kids to "better" schools or tutored for "scholarships".
Mine are now all in their 30s, with good degrees, good jobs, and more importantly, have good relationships and are well liked at work and in their communities
I had a deeply sad moment when one acquaintance from the children's schooldays, who jumped through hoops to send her child to the "best" school, told me of her despair at her child who is deeply unhappy & unable to settle at study, work or relationships. She said "and you just sent your children to ....x... and they've turned out fine!"
Good luck, whatever happens.

nursemaggie

Iveleaf your son and mine sound alike. They just don't notice time passing mine will say I only did it last week when I tell him to clean his room. He has crisp packets everywhere, though I have noticed lately they do sometimes find their way into the bin. Energy drink bottles by the hundred how can it be only last week when he never drinks more than one a day and some days none. There have been extra pop bottles this last two weeks while he has been on this course. He never finishes them at lunch time.

There is a pair of new curtains on his chair they have only been waiting 5 months to go up. If I did not ask him for them every day there would never be a cereal bowl when I wanted one. He accumulates them as well as plates. My DD was the worse she used to leave half drunk cups of tea behind curtains. Usually in rooms that did not get used much. They would be revolting. I think men just cannot see the mess. DS20 does not notice the bottles piling up until he knocks them over and then he wants bigger desk.

To be honest my desk is littered with knitting patterns balls of wool and to do lists I never seem to finish.

kidcat hope DS16 is better soon.

Well the money back from utilities may not be much but it is much better than another rise!

PIC nice to see you back was wondering where you were.

It has suddenly gone really warm here. Went for my flu jab and could not stand the heat in the doctors.

chickens11

POOKY...If you can be a stay at home mum then thats good for your family , probaly because you are so good at running the family budget on a lot less than some families do , but still eat good home made meals , and how to budget good for you.......:D
MARDATHER.....Its probaly lack of sunshine now its autumn , cos I know you dont get a lot of sun up where you live, perhaps you need a SAD lamp to help boost your moods........You can get a good one on ebay for about £25.....
Weve got super weather here , sunny all be it a bit wattery sun I call it this time of year , and warm at 19, im spending my days sitting in my sun room with the doors open all day , and no need for heating in this weather, ...Oh yea forgot to say on my previous post that ive got an appointment to get my hearing aid fitted 24 October , they first said id be on waiting list until December , so all of a sudden 5 wks later I will get my aid, it will feel funny being able to hear again properly.......Hope you all well , ( was shegar now chickens)...
KIDCAT...Im same as you , I dont like the change from summer to autumn it hurts badly, clocks change soon , that will make matters worse for all the SAD syndrome sufferers, have to look forward to spring.........

nursemaggie

Sorry for got to say SQ I will not get rid of my side effects I have to take the treatment every day for the rest of my life. It stops the tumour from growing rather than killing it like chemo does. The side effects are similar. I have been on this drug since the beginning of July last year. It is not quite as bad as it was at first but I never know if something will suddenly return.

I do seem to be better with infections I had 26 colds last winter between September and March plus about 20 other minor infections. Touch wood I have been fine since march.

savingqueen

Sorry you have to put up with those horrible side effects nursemaggie, I didn't realise. I really hope they lessen over time for you.
I am really noticing how much the weather/seasons affect my mood and energy levels. I haven't been diagnosed as such with SAD but have been thinking for a while about it and am prone to anxiety and depression so have to watch my moods. I don't think I can spare the money for a lamp right now but will put one on The List and aim to get outdoors on bright days at least. Exercise helps and good food and I could do better on both counts - got to prioritise health and not take it for granted.
Sheila - try not to "over think" re your scan, easier said than done I know. I wish I had a crystal ball for you to use. Try and distract yourself as much as you can until the appointment.


meant to have an early night and still here... off now, night night to anyone still up x