The OS Doorstep - a helpful and supportive thread in these tough times

savingqueen

Howdy folks,

Husg rosanna, I can totally relate to what you are saying, I too have a MIL who can be rude, sarcastic, unreliable etc and worst of all unpredictable. She has told us of friends who have banned her and FIL from their home, hung up on them, changed phone nos and not told them etc - and she wonder's why? :rotfl:DH told her why he doesn't want her to visit about a year ago and she still doesn't get it. Worse thing she ever told me when just the two of us together was that did I know DH didn't want children. Unbeknown to her we had already decided to buy a house/get married/start a family, all of which we did no thanks to her input.

well I'm a busy bee today, trying to ignore the heat and get stuff done. On millionith laundry load, ain't it great getting it dry so quickly. All beds changed yesterday and towels today. Hol prep coming along in dribs and drabs too. Bought a desk fan and a stand up one and DH assembled them (why does everything need to be assembled? :mad:) and has done front and back lawns.

Boys have sorted out toys, games etc for hols which is helpful and tidied their room which will help with the packing. Lots of moaning from DS9 which I ignored, cruel mother thatI am:D We had eggs and bacon for an early lunch for a change, can't afford to do it often. Having trouble filling DS9 up again so decided to do lunch earlier, tea earlier and then give him a supper early eve. I have noticed he is filling out (not getting fat), getting muscly and taller so I guess he needs more feeding at the mo.

Next job is hoovering the car and think will cheat and pay for a car wash in the week. Then will trim my fringe which takes me ages, rest of hair trimmed yesterday.

ok quick break over, best get back to it
sq:)

nuttyp

What a lovely afternoon everyone, not too hot today here. Havent been able to post for a couple of days as been majorly busy.

After the drinking alcohol cinario at work, said work collegue hasn't been back to work. She text me a message saying she was having a s**t day. Don't we all at some time or other. Then we have heard nothing apart from do I still have a job? I didn't bother replying, as for one im not the overall manager and secondly I honestly don't know the answer. To not turn up for 3 days work is bad isn't it?

So ive rearranged my plans for the last 3 days, done extra hours including 14 on Wednesday. Yesterday I was suppose to be off, but I cover part of the shift. I do need the money, but its annoying when people have no respect.

This morning ive booked my mum on a holiday with the sun, she and her friend who is also widowed, are going to Skegness in October. She excited bless her.

Last night OH treated me to a kfc, was nice for a treat but tbh wasn't impressed. It cost £12, and wasn't as nice as I was expecting. We then headed to hunstanton for a walk on the seafront and an icecream.

So today is washing day, and ive stripped the bed. Hoovered up, put shelf up in DD room and theats it im pooped.

Have a lovely day everyone, stay cool and safe x

PS vjsmum, our youngest DD is a tae kwon do champion, imagine what happened when she was bullied at school. One move and the girl stopped - I had to go in of course but girls are as bad too. Needless to say the bullying stopped. Its not always one sided, sometimes tempers need to be let go off and then people realise they cant keep bullying/ridiculing others. I hope your son is ok.

monnagran

Hi.

I feel terrible now. I shouldn't have given you the impression that my MIL was a nasty person because she really wasn't. She had been thoroughly spoiled as the only child of wealthy parents and my FIL carried on spoiling her. She was his second wife and the contrast between her and his first wife (my ex's mother) was so marked that I think he could never believe his luck. Hence she thought that everyone in her life was there to serve her. I was a harassed single mother of 2 teenage boys who was madly trying to keep all the balls in the air and having a demanding French lady who was recovering from injuries, shock and grief dumped on me was the last straw. She demanded her main meal at lunchtime and nothing would sway her so yes, I flew home from school at midday, scrabbled together a lunch for her and dashed back in time for afternoon school. I then had to come home at the end of the day and do it all again for the rest of the family. She really couldn't see that she was putting me out at all. And she was so lonely when FIL died. She promised me everything if she could live with us but I couldn't do it. It would have been no life for the boys and they had to come first.

Now, my actual MIL, my ex's mother was another story. She was a REAL piece of work. A toxic, lying, troublemaker who I prefer to forget.

It's a lesson I have never forgotten and thank goodness my own DIL actually says that I don't interfere enough! The other one I have nothing to do with and will soon be out of the picture entirely.

JackieO: Have a wonderful day today, you deserve it.

Fuddle: Funny you should say that. Recently a friend(!) gave me a box of marbles to replace the ones I keep losing.

All the rest of you with difficult relations - keep a stiff upper lip, smile, put as much distance between you and them as possible and know that you can come on here and vent with impunity.

Enjoy the rest of the day. Eat ice-cream.

x

Popperwell

Hi All,
Doing as little as possible today...must catch up...sounded a nice thing to do NuttyP. Never had a KFC myself that's quite a few meals for me pricewise.

Not happy I have put approx 4lbs on and in the next few days I go for my check up at the hospital(just realised I have forgotten to have my bloods taken at the surgery)so the consultant has the info when I get there.

Well attended my first Durham Miners Gala yesterday, blessed with the weather(too hot really)the speeches were interesting, I would not say anything extreme was said, just commonsense and asking that all the rights fought for in the last 100 years are protected and we continue to try and secure a few more.

I posted a few images on my blog and did a small report on how it all went without passing opinions of my own.

I have also worked out how to post images via Twitter.

For many it was just a lovely day out with family. People were also boating on the river and there was a river cruise too. Maybe one day I'll pay up and take it myself.



I needed the sun cream alright...and avoided getting tanned or burnt. Well with Factor 50 I wasn't taking chances.

Valli

hello all.

How in the middle of the country too - (I am within spitting distance of the location of 'the point in the British Isles furthest from the sea' - if I spit hard - however I am too much of a lady to spit. Have persuaded exOH to stump up a bit of extra cash (he can't afford to pay for two households, apparently - what he pays isn't even half the mortgage let alone bills etc) and DS has been treated to Primarni clothes - shirt and shorts. DS (19 and waiting to go to Uni) tried on the one shirt in his size, decided he's like it, please, and pointed out that is was marked. Well trained or what? 10% discount! The mark is on the inside, which is good, because I'm not certain I will be able to shift it.

Loving the stories! And re MILs etc - you have to (IMO) put your own household first. Always remember a colleague of mine who told me her own mum dies fairly young and she was always of the opnion that her mum had run herself into the ground caring for her grandmother. I have a colleague whose mum had a stroke; for a while she lived with her. She's the most cantankerous old so-and-so and has had to go into a care home becuase her demands were unreasonable beyond belief.

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Valli

hello all.

Hot in the middle of the country too - (I am within spitting distance of the location of 'the point in the British Isles furthest from the sea' - if I spit hard - however I am too much of a lady to spit. Have persuaded exOH to stump up a bit of extra cash (he can't afford to pay for two households, apparently - what he pays isn't even half the mortgage let alone bills etc) and DS has been treated to Primarni clothes - shirt and shorts. DS (19 and waiting to go to Uni) tried on the one shirt in his size, decided he'd like it, please, and pointed out that is was marked. Well trained or what? 10% discount! The mark is on the inside, which is good, because I'm not certain I will be able to shift it.

Loving the stories! And re MILs etc - you have to (IMO) put your own household first. Always remember a former colleague of mine who told me her own mum died fairly young and she was always of the opinion that her mum had run herself into the ground caring for her grandmother. I have a colleague whose mum had a stroke; for a while she lived with her. She's the most cantankerous old so-and-so and has had to go into a care home because her demands and expectations were unreasonable beyond belief.

.

kidcat

Fuddle - just a quick word of warning re schools and holidays, from Sept the law changes and schools will not be able to authorise any unless in extreme circumstances, I have attended a governor session on it and it really will mean schools will not authorise any at all and fines will be issued per child per holiday. May be better to budget for it now so you are not hit with a bill when you come home.

As for families, well you all know my issues, we had a visit yesterday whilst I had taken DD7 dancing, my plan was to pop straight to shops as we had guests for a BBQ, but DD18 called to say they were still here and insisting that were waiting until I came home with DD7 so we had to come home, otherwise they wouldnt have left.
Valli I fully agree once you set up your own home and family they must become your first call and priority anything else leads to trouble.

I have finally finished my raised bed today:j:j and have put some potatoes and the whoopsie veg plants I picked up just before we went away, they may not take or work now but it is all ready for next year now at least.

We set the paddling pool up Thurs night so by Friday the kids were able to use it - and they are loving it.

fuddle

monnagran I think I like your friend(!)

kidcat, i'll pick up a form tomorrow and see what it says. I saw one last week and it said they will grant 5 days but anything more needs special request. If it's the same form I will fill it in and put straight into the office. I will copy that same form as proof I submitted on the old form and see what happens. I have looked at the school website and our council and it mentions nothing as yet. Fingers crossed. Just my luck that with attendance of 100% and 99.2% I dare do what ever other person seems to be doing at the moment and I get penalised.

savingqueen

well I am starting to flag but can't believe how much I have achieved today and how much DH has helped for a change this weekend. I feel much more motivated to do chores when my partner is pulling his weight (surprise, surprise!). I keep writing a small list of jobs, crossing them off, sitting down for a rest and writing a new list and repeating. That way I don't get overwhelmed.

nutty - sorry you are still having to deal with your colleague and having to work unplanned extra hours.

sheila & mar- so happy to hear of your new found energy!

jackieo- hope you are having a really special day with your DDs with lots of happy memories

monnagran - I have a vivid mental image of your French MIL, how incredibly trying she sounded. Makes my own MIL seem like a kitten! Its all the little things that used to get me like we would need to leave at x time, I would make it very clear to her and warn her in good time and then say we need to leave now and she would say, oh ok, I'll just have a coffee first. Another time she insisted on collecting boys from school and I gave her a note authorising that (school requirement) and she flung it back in my face, saying "I won't need that" as if she was the Queen of Sheba. Anyway I could rant all day about her so best stop now!

I had other people to "talk" too but forgotten now, blame it on the heat.

well back to the list, DH is sorting dinner so once I reach my limit, I will just eat, chill and have a bath later til bed.... :)

edit: forgot to say we have teeny green tomatoes on the plants! MY first attempt at growing anything edible, its all we've got but I;m so excited and plan to grow lots more food next year

sq:)

elisamoose

Unfortunately for you the law changes with effect from September and the school will have to rewrite and agree a new policy reflecting this. The new rules are on the DfE website and th wording uses the phrase ' exceptional circumstance' and says the number of days is the heads decision. The advice I have been given ( as a school attendance person) is that we can only authorize when there is a family emergency requiring an absence. Holidays taken will be recorded as unauthorized and a penalty notice issued. This will be £60 per parent per child.
In my authority they do not fine for under 5 days but that might change

http://www.education.gov.uk/schools/pupilsupport/behaviour/attendance/a00223868/regulations-amendments