The OS Doorstep - a helpful and supportive thread in these tough times

ginnyknit

Fuddle, both hubby and Mum have Nhs aids - 2 each and they are top of the range, excellent service and free batteries. They would have cost £4000 if we bought them. Mum especially has had lots of support and it changed her life.

savingqueen

SDG, you have had a lot happenning lately, glad you had a fab holiday. So sorry to hear about your dear friend, be kind to yourself and allow yourself time to grieve properly. Sending hugs to you.

Sorry not much help on your dilemas kidcat but as someone else said trust your gut feelings with the dog. Its difficult when any health professionals whether its vets, opticians, dentists or whoever recommend expensive tests or treatments you are not sure are needed. They are sometimes advising for genuine reasons but other times you wonder if their motives have a financial slant.

DS7's turn for tears and tantrums this afternoon. A small thing lead to a total overreaction and DH made it worse, not on purpose, he just doesn't allow for some things like I do. I eventually got to the bottom of it (I think). He is just not settled yet back at school. He is also like DS10 really tired getting back into school life with a new teacher and going up to the juniors.

DS10 redeemed himself a bit from this morning's bad behaviour. I was called in to see his class teacher and she showed me an area he has improved tremendously in the space of a week. She sent him in to see the head as well which he has never done before and although he found that nerveracking, his self-esteem has had a boost, much needed as well with the secondary school stress. Thank you, thank you class teacher!

I thought about the asking menfolk to do specific tasks comments so I asked DH to fetch the washing in whilst I was making dinner. He looked at me a bit puzzled and said "who me?" Yes you darling. Washing was brought in all screwed up in the basket. He's trying........
He wants us to have lunch out tomorrow - I think he knows I'm a little fed up with him. Shouldn't be spending really as a tight month but I can stick it on the credit card and pay off on payday and a friend has given me a voucher for one main free with another so we will only have a soft drink and not go mad. Anyway it's a cheaper option than a divorce ha ha

better go to the blanket show...
night night to anyone still reading xxx

judi24

Kidcat - I would go with your instincts regarding your dog - I have a freiend who took thier dog to the vet for one thing and through incidental findings ended up putting the dog through all sorts of tests and investigations not to mention worry for my friend - only to find something insignificant! Animals are actually quite easy to read - when the appear sick they genuinly are and when they don't appear sick they are most likely fine (in my opinion!) but it is all such a worry!


SQ its good to know I am not alone with the school and 11+ stress and I am now feeling alot calmer about the situation! My DD3 is not unintelligent but she does stuggle with certain aspects of school work - I am dyslexic and I am convinced she is too - but it is not straight forward in that she reads very well and understands what she reads but struggles to write what she thinks down - which is exactly like me - but it doesn't get picked up unless assessed by and ed psych and school says she doesnt need assessment as she is still achieving targets ( i was diagnosed when doing PhD) - so despite me knowing she has the intelligence to do ok at the grammer I feel she will feel the pressure too much and she seems much happier not doing it! I now need to really look at alternatives! and she will find her way in the world at her own pace like Fairyprincess pointed out!


Work today was weird - felt very emotional as I have so much I want to achieve and I know I won't - I just hope I can inspire my team to carry on with things and that I have helped them develop the skills to carry on with improving the quality of services. I have to get more positive about my job move - or i will just be a wreck for the next 2 weeks!!!


Hope everyone has a good day tomorrow!

shanks77

Fuddle maybe a bit late but I bought the ikea shelves tall ones and they are great. Holds tons of stuff and very sturdy. Def worth the money in my opinion.
Mt other thought for u was for ur nuggets. I do a version that involves dipping them in egg then in grana Padano or similar and baking in oven for 15mins. Really nice and u get a texture like breadcrumbs only nicer. You can add herbs or spices as suits ur tastes hope that gives u another idea and saves u making batter xx

Possession

We are in an 11+ area too, and there isn't much choice outside of the grammar schools, which are among the best in the country but that also means they are very oversubscribed and the 11+ pass rate is very high. We thought DS would struggle and didn't enter him for it. As it happened by the time the test would have been taken he probably could have given it a try, but I do think he would be struggling in one of those schools. As it is, he's in an Outstanding school which has seen excellent exam results this year, he seems happy and he's comfortable. DD is less academic than he was and we won't be entering her for the 11+ but I'll be very happy for her to go to DS's school.

Pooky

We're an 11+ area as well, we also have a couple of grammar schools that have their own testing system along side the 11+ so both girls sat both lots of testing. DD1 scraped a pass and hated every second of the school - DD2 passed with more points but the grade average was higher that year and she didn't get a place - she was at a secondary that was on the up and it did her well, she enjoyed going there...makes it a lot easier if they enjoy it.

SQ - I'm yet to find a man who doesn't need directions on daily tasks, they just don't see it...they don't even see it when you're doing it - they tune out. Hope you get a nice lunch today.

My parents are still here and it's getting very difficult now. Whilst I love them to bits I can't do prolonged time with them. My Mum is repeating herself constantly, incredibly rude (speaks her mind to anyone and everyone) and seems to always be moaning at my Dad - she said he won't go and get his hearing checked as he doesn't want to admit he's old but she's the one with the hearing problem. Poor Dad looks so embarrassed half the time at the stuff she comes out with. Yesterday whilst out for lunch, the waitress brought over lunch, just some posh sandwiches, bit of salad and some crisps on the plate and Mum shouted "oh my god, I can't eat all that, far to much food" - The waitress replied "we don't like people to go hungry here" and Mum replied "oh I suppose when you're the size you are you think this is just a snack".....I was mortified and went in to apologize. She seems to have a real issue with size at the moment - she got my washing in and help my jeans up and said "good god I could camp in these" - when ever we go to get in the car it's always "you get in the front you need more room than me"........now it washes over me but I can't understand why she thinks its acceptable to say it. They live a very quiet life, a couple of neighbours pop in for coffee now and then but I think she's lost the plot of what's socially acceptable.

Anyway - they go home tomorrow and I'll be quite pleased (which is an awful thing to say). I'm planning a proper hot and spicy chilli on Friday night as I'm sick of all this "bland" food.

Sorry for the rant!

And breathe....

savingqueen

judi - my DS is bright, top set (but not top of the class), enjoys the academic side, always tries hard and is keen to learn. Our problems are are there brighter kids and nearer postcodes and DS gets anxious and then doesn't sleep well though he would probably be ok (I think) doing the test at school, in a different, bigger environment. There are no very local decent secondary schools and I also worry he would get eaten alive there. I know it will work out in the end but that doesn't stop the stress now. Great to hear about your children's fantastic school, sounds perfect.

judi24

Pooky - your post made me giggle ( i know I shouldnt as its sounds traumatic!) but my mum and dad (dont live together) both do this!!! I wouldnt mind but my mum still works part time as a vicar and still manages to make some really cutting comments - ususlly to my family! My dad doesn't care who he offends! - it makes me cringe!


SQ your son sounds like he is in a good position to get through - but I appreciate it doesnt help him if he is stressed about it! I am much less stressed about about my daughter not going to a grammer than my DS 2 years ago - I thought he needed the stimulation of the grammer and would just become a 'naughty kid' with a label in some other schools! (he has ADHD but is very clever) - it a really tough time but I have no doubt we will look back on this and wonder what all the fuss was about in a few years. I have been through this before with my older 2 girls and have lived to tell the tale - one went to the grammer and one didn't.


Anyway - have a good day off to work!

FairyPrincessk

SQ I know the pain of crumpled washing. It drives me nuts. I hope you enjoy your lunch.

Pooky you and I are at very different points in our lives, but I can definitely relate to you on the parent front. I hope you enjoy your chilli.

Judi I think it can be hard to fully realize how much of an impact we have on others. Good luck with the job transition.

SDG I'm sending hugs and thoughts. It sounds like a very emotional time. Remember to make some time for yourself, all of those emotions will be taking it out of you and you'll need to let yourself replenish your energy.

Nargleblast

Pooky Does your mother have some form of dementia? I have heard that in some cases a person can seem "normal" but has lost all sense of what is socially acceptable behaviour and doesn't have the normal inhibitions that prevent us from being appallingly rude to people. Maybe a private chat with Dad might reveal concerns that he has had for some time?