The OS Doorstep - a helpful and supportive thread in these tough times

silvasava

OOoh Pooky - I'm with you there on the tattoo. DH has one on his arm from when he was a lad in the Merchant Navy. Its virtually illegible now. At least it was a good deterrant to both sons. He kept telling them that they look fine when you are young but as you get older they blur as your skin changes & had the evidence haha.
I used to say to mine they could colour their hair, have their ears pierced but DONT have a tattoo. Shame DGD didn't get the same advice from her mum
If your DD is determined could you compromise on size/placement???

mardatha

When I moved I used to ignore the house and look out of the windows, if it had a nice view and plenty of light then I took it. This house was all tobacco brown and smelled strongly of pipe, the decor was awful (last tenant was an old farmhand who was blind) - but you always decorate the inside of a house to suit yourself anyway, so I ignore that. The view out of the back windows of the moors and hills hit me and I said I'LL TAKE IT!!- it's the best house we've had. Big rooms higher ceilings brick walls and the fabulous coal fired heating. I paint it all in pastels and have loads of mirrors, that lightens up any house.

mardatha

Meant to say MrsL, I haven't seen a single wasp this year! We've had a few cool grey misty days and by teatime the midges are out in force... horrible wee sods

savingqueen

I'm another one not keen on tattoos - its the permanence of them and the fact like so many things now - every second person seems to have at least one.


off to school in a mo, posh cat woke me up in the early hours, stripey cat woke up DS10 a bit later and DS7 had a bad dream. Cue lots of yawning from all 3 of us, not a good start to the day!


Take care everyone x

fuddle

Possession I know the cost of selling and buying is a bind but please don't worry about the cost of moving. As you know we moved from one end of the country to another. We made 3 trips of 10 hours there and back and used a company VW Transporter. We packed and unpacked everything ourselves. The cost of moving was minimal. I'm not saying that you should do that but what I'm saying is by doing things yourself, if able, you can save a whole host of money.

No one really knows the state of this house when we moved in. It reduced DH and I to tears that Saturday evening when we opened the door. The previous tenant had hidden all and masked smells when we viewed. The house needed a lot of work to get it into our home... but not a lot of money

For me, in the situation you find yourself in, I think I would be thinking ahead and into the future in terms of coping on reduced income. Is the upkeep of your home expensive? Do you feel that you could reduce living costs with a smaller property compared to the house you have now? Would the council tax reduce by moving? Would extending the mortgage term add to the worry in the long run.

Possesion I now live in the smallest house you could imagine - both my girls share a bedroom. We are the most content we have ever been. The size of the house, the amount of rooms, the rooms, the lack of storage mean diddly squat. We are content because we have managed to get a bit piece of mind.

I just wanted to write to you that thinking small, peeling back what is needed and not just desired and being frugal can have an immense amount of satisfaction and ultimately calm.

Just a different perspective x

[Deleted User]

Oh bless you FUDDLE you are such a lovely little person, it really is beautiful to see you giving such incredibly good advice and helping everyone, you are an amazing product of your own hard work and tenacity, we're very lucky to have you on this thread, Lyn xxx.

Possession

Fuddle you are absolutely right, and such paring back would probably make DH very happy actually, I'm not sure if I've mentioned it on here but since he had the breakdown, and gave up drinking, he has become more and more interested in Quakerism and a simple life.
It's all very disconcerting of course, and tough because I'll have to do pretty much everything myself since DH leaves the house at 7am and doesn't get back until 8pm, but it will all be fine. As soon as I've got the estate agents out of the way I will sort carpet cleaning and start general declutter. Someone came to take 5 large bags of books away yesterday but there's an awful lot more to go. In fact if anyone lives near me and would like books, get in touch as I suspect we are going to be giving away hundreds if not thousands and I don't have time to sell them all.

The first estate agent has been and valued it at roughly what I thought which is encouraging.
Wish we had a view over the moors though Mar!

savingqueen

Possession - I know you will have probably thought of every angle and some - but don't forgot to compare all the costs or running and maintaining a home. Compare current utility costs to estimated "new house" costs. What about transport costs and insurance?

A very long shot and I don't know your area - but could you rent out your current home to cover the mortgage and then rent out a cheaper property to save money? If your working circumstances change again for the better, you would have the option of moving back into your old house.

Re moving - we were shocked at the prices quoted by the big removal firms and found a small and very helpful local firm who were so much cheaper.

We have a 50th party to go to at the weekend, a rare social event for DH and I these days. Feel a bit nervous about going as I won't know many people. Still the boys are invited too so they will command some of my time and attention keeping an eye on them. I have managed through some miracle to find a suitable outfit to wear this morning- my dutiful supermarket black smart trousers and a nice charity shop top with a bit of sparkle (as yet unworn by me so technically new ), shoes and bag dug out from a wedding a few years ago and a bit of sparkly costume jewellery I've had for ever. Not very adventurous but saves me hours of traipsing round shops today and more importantly saves the pennies. Anyway I will not look my best until I shift some weight so another reason to make do.
I am not drinking these days so no cab fares at least but I suspect that buying soft drinks for 3 and beers for his lordship all night will soon add up. I wonder if I can take a couple of drinks in for my boys or will that look dodgy (party is in a hall with a bar)? Off next to source a suitable pressie to take using my birthday M&S voucher.

Pooky

I'd happily take drinks for the boys SQ - no one will say anything. I'd always take a couple of bottles of squash for the girls to things like that - they could have a fizzy something as a treat when we got there but after that is was squash only....I'd always pack a few nibbles too as you never know what they've got food wise and if the kids will actually eat it.

I've just spent 4 hours cleaning at MILs - 2 hours of that was the kitchen alone....blugh. I found 9 of those big field spiders alive - one hiding under a sofa cushion!!! Numerous dead ones - they're having a field day up there is so dirty. Bear in mind that MIL moved in last September and I don't think they've hoovered since. I tried 3 of their 4 hoovers (they're in a bungalow fog goodness sake how many hoovers do you need) before I found one that worked. I've had all the doors and windows wide open - 3 fans going to move the air round and done what I can to make it more liveable for my parents.... I don't think they'll stay for long.

I now feel like I need to have a bath with a brillo pad!

savingqueen

Thanks Pooky. Its not a posh event and I know our friends wouldn't mind us doing that. My 2 don't like fizzy drinks anyway so might treat them to a fruity drink and then on to bottles of water. My treat will be a couple of diet cokes - living the high life eh! I know there will be plenty of food suitable for all so that's ok but we will still have a small early tea, DS10 eats for Essex now! Are your parents staying at your in-laws then? Makes my house spend spotless in comparison hee hee!
Please everyone don't let me start baking again all the time, l I am too embarrassed to tell you all how much I have consumed since they came out of the oven last night.