The OS Doorstep - a helpful and supportive thread in these tough times

Possession

So glad the prognosis is good for lovely Docky Mrs L.

Thankyou all, you're all lovely!It is a bit of a shock, and I've just lost my patience with MIL on the phone which is very naughty of me as she is lovely and only has our best interests at heart but she just doesn't understand that we can't pay the mortgage when DH is an Oxford -educated chartered accountant (OK she has a point!). She doesn't understand anxiety and depression and why he doesn't just get a higher-paying job. Then she kept going on about how worried she was about his health and his heart because he was overweight and I told her that was the least of my worries when I'd spent a good 5 years thinking I was going to come home to find him hanging from the ceiling, which was very naughty of me and I regret it. Anyway I'm sure that will pass, and luckily things aren't that bad anymore.
I will be accepting the voluntary redundancy as there is no chance of it changing so might as well get the best package. The company are being decent about that I must admit.
I have just made appointments for a couple of estate agents to value the house and will be trying to make that exciting for the children who are rather worried about it all. One thing is that their bedrooms at the moment are tiny, so it's a certainty they would have a bigger bedroom even if we'll have one less.
I can't do both house selling (and getting rid of way too much stuff) and job hunting at the same time I don't think, so my instinct is to concentrate on getting the house sold asap.

ivyleaf

That sounds like quite good news then Lyn, i hope the anti-inflammatories do the trick for him

Sorry to hear your news Possession ((HUGS))

[Deleted User]

Good girl POSESSION, give yourself one thing to sort out at a time and the house change is a sensible priority to start with. Mr Posession is doing OK so don't make waves MIL, they're doing OK as they are. Hope you can negociate the best redundancy deal possible with the company and find ways to change lifestyle to the point where you can thrive, not just cope with your change of circumstances. Kids are mega resiliant and once they've understood that this isn't choice but neccessity they'll come on board and maybe even see this all as an adventure? Good luck with all you decide to do, we're here always for the good days as well as the low ones, Chin up chicken, you'll be OK!!! Lyn xxx.

stiltwalker

Possession - sending good vibes your way and I hope you can find some real positives from a tricky time. Don't feel bad about MIL - she needs to be supporting you not being a thorn, it's not your fault that she doesn't understand the situation.


Well the kids are back at school/nursery (am I allowed to do a little celebratory dance?) - I love them dearly but I am on my knees after the 6 week break. One of my closest friends home eds (and always has) and I am in awe of how she has managed it and is still sane! Her kids have turned out great too with her oldest getting her GCSEs this summer and also being a lovely, well rounded lass with musical and artistic talents also being nurtured.


Have now started the big post summer hols clean. I never find I can get much more than the bare minimum done in the hols as the kids always seem to be on the floor in the room I want to clean. Done the hall and front room and having a little sit and a tea before heading off to the kitchen.


Catch you all later X

judi24

fuddle wrote: »

Possession I am so very sorry to read that horrible news. Jobs should never be the bee all and end all but I know how much they bring peace of mind. I'm sorry your family have had their peace of mind wobbled but if I may remind you, for when you're ready, that our real job in life is to care, to nurture, to be there there for one another. To 'provide' has got very, very expensive indeed. You are in the right place for scraping away the layers that don't essentially matter and find new ways of providing that do. It's a shame in a way that you are a staunch toughie because we can't give you the 'stick with us we'll show you how' speech but we can be with you to prop you up and share further ideas. Thinking of you.

If ever we needed a time to get back to tips and tricks of OS, well it's now.

QUOTE]


Wow - this is so true and made me cry! what wise words indeed - difficult to do though! I know I would be much better mum if wasn't always so stressed about work and making a good 'living' for my family - perhaps I have forgotten what a GOOD living is!

Pooky

Possession - Concentrating on the house rather than everything else is a great way to focus the energy and get your mind all fired up - it's amazing how much clearer some things can seem after a bit life event like this. MIL will cope - she's just worried about her little boy, as you are about yours.

Stilty - I'm doing a little happy dance for you - you must be exhausted. I used to love those big "back to school" spring cleans.

Mrs LW - Hope those anti-inflams work quickly for Docky - poor boy.

Well we took DD2 and her friend off to college this morning - they were both so nervous and when they saw the sheer numbers of kids entering the building they went very quiet. They have to fathom out the bus journey home - it's 25 miles and 2 buses so will take a good while (all country lanes)....they'll cope

Popped into B and M on the way back (we don't have one here but it's fairly near the college) and I stocked up on stuff I knew was cheaper than any of the SM's - they had tetra packs of chopped tomatoes, 2 for 29p! Amazing price so I got a few of those - we get through so many. Picked up a couple of bits for the girls christmas stockings too.....I'd like to be finished with the spendy bits before the end of October so I can concentrate on the homemade stuff.....whether it happens or not remains to be seen.

Knit_Witch

Possession wrote: »

It was redundancy, I will post more tomorrow as just off to bed after a very hard and exhausting day tramping around Birmingham (train nightmare).

Hope it all goes well for Docky tomorrow.

Gentle hugs all round :heartpuls

ginnyknit

I was also moved by Fuddles wise words. I do hope you appreciate Fuddlyone how you have grown since your move - its wonderful to see you less nervous and stressed despite holding down a complex job :T

Possession, you are doing so well, its only day 2 and you are calmly working out the best way to proceed. Im sure your MIL will understand and if she has any sense will support you better now.

MrsLW give the boy a hug from Aunty Ginny for being so brave and you of course as well.

Day one of no meds and feeling a bit ropey but nothing major, Oh is spending the day with Dd's Oh so I can rest if I feel like it. I may do some sewing or may not.

Stilty, put those feet up and re-charge hunny :beer: this is coffee not beer in the mugs

Possession

Stilty you are definitely allowed a celebratory dance, time to spend a little time on yourself now. Remember to have a rest in between all the clearing up!

Well I now have 3 agents coming to see the house and am viewing one round the corner tomorrow. I am chucking out as much recyclable stuff as possible as the bins are being collected tomorrow. Need to get the house presentable for Friday even if lots just gets chucked in the garage! We are going to my parents in Kent this weekend so I won't be able to get anything done - bad timing but the dog has been booked in to the dogsitter for months and my dad is great at talking through this kind of stuff.

Yes indeed Fuddle those were wise words. To be fair to her it's also what MIL was meaning to say. She left DH's father and went from a lovely 5 bed house to a dingy 2 bed flat in Coventry, with nothing not even photos. Not long after Dh's stepfather had a heart attack and has had another since, so as far as she's concerned you are fine as long as you have your health. And she's right of course.

OK, hit me with your top house-selling/presentation tips! I shall de-clutter and de-personalise as much as possible so take that as a given.

nursemaggie

Hugs all round it is a busy time of year. Extra hugs for Possession, MrsLW and Docky. I hope the anti inflammatorys help.

Hope everything works out OK with the house move Possession.