The OS Doorstep - a helpful and supportive thread in these tough times

savingqueen

Morning doorsteppers

Special hugs to all with relationship difficulties whether with partners, families, friends, colleagues or neighbours. Thanks so much for sharing all your family stories and for your wisdom and kind thoughts particularly our wonderful Mrs LW who has such a brilliant way with words. Strangely after reading your last email about healing rifts etc, my sister has emailed politely declining my suggestion of getting together for a family meal but offering a meeting between herself, our mother and I to talk things through. I can't see it helping but then again I feel I have nothing to loose. I will give it some thought and leave replying for a little while.

Yes memory girl and floss - we can all be sisters - you will have to let me know your birthdays so I can remember you then. Anyone else fancy joining our OS sisterhood?

Our whole house, well particularly the living room and kitchen are a blooming TIP so today is dedicated to tackling them. Done a little shopping already, washing up done and washing nearly ready to peg out. The living room is festooned with DH's accounting books and papers, kids toys, a massive cardboard robot, various junk modelling bits the cats have pulled out of bags.... etc etc.... you get the picture!

Our money is tight this month, lots of essential spends have been put off for a while, things that need replacing, most of those are still out off but had to buy DS9 a whole wardrobe of clothes 1-2 sizes bigger, DH needed shoes and trainers (desperately so), its DS9's birthday next week, a 5 week month etc etc. Our current account cushion has been spent (not an overdraft these days but savings ), house repair fund dipped in to and using up stocks of food. Needs must and all.

I looked at the local food bank trolley coming out of the supermarche today and thought I can't really afford to buy anything for it. Then I thought again. We have a savings cushion now (even if it is for essential house repairs) and no debt other than the mortgage, the credit card is paid off on a daily basis so we can't build up any debt, we have plenty of food and not behind with the bills. We are even having a cheap and very cheerful holiday again this summer. Very fortunate compared to some. I thought how people with no cushion whether savings, a stock of food or people to lend them money etc would manage. I went back in and bought a few bags of SP stuff plus a couple of good value things on offer. It won't harm our credit card to have a few quid on it til pay day, no interest will be due. These are donated in my mum's name as its her birthday on Friday, Happy Birthday mum even though you aren't reading this.

Right house won't tidy itself will it? Be back later to check up on you all


have the best day you can me luvvies
sq

savingqueen

kidcat wrote: »

Fuddle - if you do your very best and show them both equal unconditional love and support, they will be fine

Yes so agree x


ooh last post promise - DS7 lost another tooth this morning, it has been causing him pain so glad it has gone. It fell into his hand as he got out of bed, he went to the loo with the tooth still in his hand and well you can guess the rest! He came into our room in tears so using the last pair of disposable gloves I had, hand down the loo to retrieve it. Thank goodness only a number 1!!! DS looks extra cute with his first gap at the top front.

[Deleted User]

SQ what an incredibly good mummy you are, he's a lucky little laddie!!!

kidcat

SQ - good luck with however you decide to handle the email, the one thing I would say is that to make the offer she clearly recognises there is a problem and is admitting it. The first step in recovery is admitting that there is a problem, so maybe there is hope

Its tudor day here today for DD8 so off she has gone in full tudor regalia along with the rest of her class.
Am still struggling this week with hayfever and energy, but have managed this morning to do a few things I have been putting off.
Its a bitty afternoon, as I collect DS16 at 2pm, have to be in DD8 school to view the tudor activities for 2.40, and then go back to collect her at 4pm after her after school tennis.
Kitty is looking alot better today although she isnt enjoying her meds She is dashing about with Wellington up and down the curtains, cupboards etc wrestling and acting like mad things.

Possession

I have a load of blackberry and blueberry and gooseberry plants soaking in a bucket that I just got from B&Q for 50p each. They had lots of veggie type stuff for the same price but most of it had gone. Might be worth popping to your local if you want anything like this. Also lots of summer bulbs.

paidinchickens

Pooky your DD looks beautiful, I saw it on FB last night but I was too tired to think straight x

SQ I have major issues with my family my Mother is awful, she plays the victim role well but then when she doesn't get her own way she spits venom.

DD had treatment yesterday and she will have to wait a week for the results. They were amazed how she got an appointment so soon and she replied " you wouldn't be surprised if you knew my Mother" I don't know what she means by that I'm sure :rotfl::rotfl:

Thanks for asking kidcat


The amount I have worried over my DD only shows how little my Mother has ever cared about me. It hurts! Yesterday I drove passed her (she didn't see me) after we had come out of the hospital and she looked old and frail and I felt such sorrow for her but I know if I give her another chance she will just make me so miserable. Her BD is at the end of the month and I'm undecided if I should send her a card.

I had the most awful childhood which is hard at the moment with all the stuff on the news. My Mother called me a liar for years until her husband left her for another woman and then decided she wanted to stand by me at court. I went through court and they pulled me to pieces and it nearly broke me.

You would think after a guilty verdict she would be so full of regret she would try to make it up to me but she has just stuck the knife in at every chance she got, telling DH I was only after his money etc. She never even bothered much with the kids and my friends all ask why I even bother about her at all. It's almost like she wants me to be rock bottom, I don't understand it.

I would hate for my kids to feel about me as I do about her.

Too much detail, sorry....

I'm too tired to do much today so I'm going to a lazy bag and watch a film

PiC x

boultdj

[Hugs] and a film fest when tired sound's just about right.

Possession

(((hugs))) PIC. I don't know what's for the best. DH hasn't seen his dad for about 13 years now, but still exchanges cards to keep the peace - both his brother and sister have had big fallings out with him and don't. He sends cards to the children despite having never met them, it's very odd. He has a history of stalking behaviour and a nasty letter he sent to MIL last year led us to suspect he'd been spying on us, but we think he's pretty harmless now, he's about 75. (Incidents in the past have been less harmless). Family, eh? Everyone in DH's family has just accepted his stepdad as their 'proper' dad (which is part of the issue).

candlelight_2013

PIC lots of hugs, you are happy now, thank goodness with DH.

I am amazed at how many of us have had a troubled relationship with our Mothers. I had some humdingers of a row with my Mother throughout the years. She found it impossible to "love" all three of us at the same time. My younger sister is convinced she never loved any of us.

Whatever we did was never enough, right through from school days up until she died. I was the only one she was speaking to when she died because she had completely alienated my sisters..

I am pleased your daughter has received treatment so quickly, but we Mothers would do anything wouldn't we because I think we learned very early how we would want to treat our children and not how we were treated ourselves.

Much love
Candlelightx

[Deleted User]

PIC you're OK too love, hold your head up and be proud of the you that you've grown into. A strong and resourceful woman who adores her family and will move heaven earth and anything in between to keep them safe and at whatever expense to yourself it takes. Whatever any of us have experienced through our lives I look at who we've all become and am in awe of the sheer strength and determination and drive that is so aparent in too many of us to name, it is the glue that holds this thread together my friends and the support that is given unstintingly by every one of us whenever there is need, you are AMAZING and I'm so very proud to call you my friends, blooming marvellous you lot, they don't come any better, Lyn xxx.