The OS Doorstep - a helpful and supportive thread in these tough times

Memory_Girl

SDG31000 wrote: »

Hello everyone


Memorygirl I made your flatbreads today and we had them with St Delia's lamb and cashew kebabs and red pepper and coriander relish. They were seriously good, even DS1 aged 18 was impressed.

I made another batch last night and BBQ some HM beefburgers for the boys with wedges and salad.

DS1 is having a rough time with the teen at school - so mad a dinner to cheer him up.

We even got to sit outside in the sun for a bit - so I am glad the Universe played along.

But I am sitting here fretting about him - so time to pull my BGK on and get productive today instead!!

MG

SDG31000

I'm so sorry that your DS is having problems Memory Girl.
This Mom stuff doesn't get easier as they grow up does it.
We had real trouble with DS1's middle school a few years back and it took me going down the school and sitting in reception and refusing to leave until they sorted it for them to start taking it seriously.
I'm sure that you will do what it best for your DS1 and I hope that things settle very soon x

Possession

Our gas & elec direct debit has virtually doubled. No idea why as we haven't changed usage of anything.

kidcat

Possession has your price gone up? Or deal ended so you have been switched to a higher tariff?
Are you in debit?
If not then look at what you have used this year, divide by 12 and then call and say that is what you want to pay. Alot of energy companies try it on at this time every year and will increase the payment even if you don't need it. Well worth a chat to see what their reasoning is.

MG - nothing worse than school issues, it makes life so hard. If there is any help you need am happy to try to help

Have managed the gym again this morning, which means I am on track to manage three times this week again. Not sure its working at all but then again how do you measure??

savingqueen

fuddle wrote: »

I wonder how much of our back grounds and up bringings of the hurtful and negative kinds can be contributed to depression and non treatment of?

I know my mam refused to get 'mental' help and scoffed when I did but I am ok. To think that parents were coping with tough living without help doesn't bare thinking about.

Fuddle, I am sure that my childhood was the cause of much of my anxiety and depression. Things like discussion and compromise were not allowed, what my dad said went without question. When I got into my teens and questioned my dad a couple of times about things I thought were unfair (he was very strict and old fashioned) he just shouted me down so I talked to him as least as possible after that.

At one point my speech therapist referred us to family therapy - we did need it - and my dad refused to go and my mum didn't stand up to him or take us without him. I had no adult outside my family to talk to about anything either so kept all sorts of awful feelings deep inside me.

I am so very glad our children can talk to us about anything and we have taken any extra help needed like physiotherapy & speech therapy (both finished with now) and in DS7's case school Learning Mentor. My children will not have the same childhood DH and I had. DH's mother admitted that she gave up on him once he reached secondary school and he spent evenings drinking and smoking and generally doing what he liked at the age of 13!! She was an incredibly selfish mother - you would be shocked at some of the things DH has told me and even MIL herself without batting an eye.


And yes I do feel empathy for our parents and others in that generation who may have had a terribly tough time and no support like counselling etc. I told my counsellor that the rest of my family need counselling more than me and its true. I am trying to remember that in my decision about meeting up with my mum and sister. Thank you fuddle for bringing that up, its an important point.

Anyway on to happier things... after a big sibling spat this morning (don't ask) we are all calm with boys off school today for polling. Plan to go and vote soon and bake and decorate cakes for DS9 to take into class tomorrow (as his birthday is in half term). Few chores and relaxing, early tea and baths later as DS7 is very tired after staying up late last night. DH had told him he could stay up til 10.15 again tonight to watch part 2 of Harry Potter so I had the uneviable job of telling him it was far too late. DS can't cope with late school nights and I have to deal with the fallout.

Kidcat - well done with the gym. It took me a little while to really notice any benefits - first I felt better mentally and physically and slept better and just this last week I can see a small difference in my body shape. Just keep going and you will feel/see positive differences before too long. In the beginning it was a chore to go now I make sure I have time to go as I WANT to go for the immediate as well as longer benefit.

take care all
sq

mardatha

Try Co-op Energy, they reduced our DD twice (currently £14 a month). They're the only people I would pay a DD to. Before when we were with Scottish Power I just paid the bill cash when it came in.

fuddle

I feel your tenterhooks MG. we have to trust and have faith in others for such a big part of the day don't we. We have to try to switch our worries off while our little/bigger ones are at school but when things aren't great it's very difficult to let go. But home life is absolutely everything eh? with a good home life kids can overcome anything

Just devoured scrambled egg on toasted bloomer (would like to say it was my bread but shop bought) salt, pepper and cooked in butter. Bloomin' lovely. All is left is a cup of tea before my final call of the day then mammy mode. I so have the urge to homemake and mothering. I think it is down to not being able to deep clean like I used to you know. Think I need to draw up my own flying housework rota.

I don't think loganberries are for us then Lyn. You've seen the space (I think) and although the whole area is barked and ready for pots there's still not too much on the way of space, especially with the sproglets. When I got right into gardening with the house I lost I adored my magnolia stellata, red azelea, French lavender, fern and hosta. Now being practical I don't think a magnolia is a very good idea (and very expensive!) but the rest I think I would like and would do ok in pots so maybe a treat every now and then... for old times sakes. The girls already have flower seeds planted - an Easter gift but I do like the idea of a selection of wildflower seeds to draw the bees in. I guess wildflower seeds will be cheap enough? Would they be perennial?

[Deleted User]

I've got a border round the pond from a packet of wildflower seeds the girls put in my christmas stocking a couple of years ago, I've got Oxeye Daisies, some tall buttercups, pink campion, scabious, and some huge plantains which come back up every year and just get more glorious. I just cut the dead stems down in the autumn and leave them alone, they're pretty tough and just grow themselves without any help from me!!!

fuddle

Daisies are really relevant actually. Little 'un was asking me what a weed was yesterday. I said a weed is a flower that grows in a place you don't want it to. She had a think and said "so if I wanted to grow daisies I could?" It transpires that little 'in likes a daisy or two... although I am not convinced it is for their beauty but rather for a steady supply of daisy making material! Still, be nice for her to grow her own daisies.

Off to go look ok ebay

greenbee

Fuddle - I leave the "dandylines" in the grass as my nephew loves them I'm turning part of my garden into meadow and the daisies and buttercups look fabulous now everything is about a foot tall!