The OS Doorstep - a helpful and supportive thread in these tough times

monnagran

Hi everyone. I've been speed-reading through the last week's posts and can't remember much.

Had a wry smile at stories about the difficulties of Mothering Sunday. I went with the Rev to her mother's funeral. Before it started she buttonholed the vicar who was taking it and said that she hoped he was not going to say in his talk anything about her being a devoted mother, loved and missed by her children, a loving and generous friend or anything else of that nature.
He could be seen a few minutes later hastily crossing out great swathes of his proposed talk! Some of the people were there under duress by their other halves. Some were there to meet up with the family and the rest (majority) were there to make sure she was really dead.

Hasn't it been glorious weather? We had a great weeks holiday exploring Somerset. Some terrific Farmer's Markets, I'll be in heaven when we move there. Where we are going to be living has 2 ordinary markets a week and a huge farmer's market once a month.
I'm really glad that I'm not feeding teenage boys any more. We are happy to eat small amounts of really good, fresh food rather than having to buy large amounts of indifferent stuff.
After seeing all the flooded fields I fear that prices next winter are going to be astronomical. They can't even get tractors on to the fields, much less seed and plant. I think we will have to start saving now.

Never have I been more thankful that I make everything from scratch though goodness knows, the raw materials are going to be eyewateringly expensive.

Well, the great decluttering is beginning in preparation for our move. I feel almost defeated when I think what is ahead of us but knowing that we had to start somewhere I cleared out one cupboard. It is beautifully clean and empty now, which is more than can be said for the rest of the room. I'm not sure whether it's cheaper to use the car to ferry loads to the tip or if it might be better to wait until we've finished and hire a skip. There might not be too much as we intend to have a table up in the drop-in where we can put usable things that we don't want and people can help themselves to anything they need.

Off to bed. It's colder tonight and my window has been open all day so it could mean a hottie bottle.

x

kidcat

mardatha wrote: »

Kidcat what was the kitten like at first? Did it cry all night? I collect mine on Thursday!!
SDG is your godmother in the picture passed?

First night he cried mar but he slept last night. He has a tiny little mew rather than a cry which seems silly coming from such a big boy.
Bet you can't wait till Thursday, we were so excited driving to get him. He has settled really quickly and is really soft and cuddly.
Can't wait to see pics when you have him

Monnagran I hired a skip when we moved and cleared it all in one day. If you are sorting gradually the danger of waiting to get rid of it later in a skip is if you live with someone like my OH who would have ended up taking stuff out of the get rid pile. I think of a skip as being a week long sort out job but if doing a longer sort out then it's car loads to tip as I go. It's all down to discipline I think.

monnagran

Thanks for the advice Kidcat,

Now. Where can I lay my hands on some discipline?

x

greenbee

monnagran wrote: »

Thanks for the advice Kidcat,

Now. Where can I lay my hands on some discipline?

x

It'll be in one of the cupboards you haven't cleared yet...

VJsmum

Thanks for the input everyone. I am very sure I am right, but as said in some ways,it is a relief that she isn't just weird. And that there may eventually be given coping strategies for social situations that she finds so difficult.

I will talk to OH about it tomorrow when he comes home. I think I will print some stuff off - someone on the five oS pleasures thread has directed me to. Tony Attwood and I can see her in everything on his website.

Thanks again, and hugs to CC

stiltwalker

VJ's mum - I'd be inclined to agree with Kidcat - everything takes so long that if she is going to need the support then best get going sooner rather than later although I can also see the reasons to delay. What I would ask - is she aware that she has social difficulties? If so the she may well appreciate an acknowledgement that it may be 'something' rather than just her - in which case sooner rather than later would also be a good option.


To be completely fair - I would say that socially at school I was rubbish - in fact I was rubbish at being a kid/teenager full stop, I've been a much more successful adult and even then it has taken work. I still only have a very small group of people I trust (or even like to spend time with) and my life mostly revolves around DH and the kids. I'm perfectly neurotypical - I just like my own company and can't be @rsed with the politics and general female doggishness which surrounds many all female groups (and going to an all girl high school this was unavoidable). Although I was delighted to get an invite to a mums night out this month - I will probably find it a little awkward and be glad to get home to DH.


Wishing you and your DD all the best and I hope you find the right way forward for her.

paidinchickens

nuttyp wrote: »

Hi all, CC much love to you and your OH. SDG, well done on accepting the AD again. I have been told its not an overnight thing, better to be a while and be sorted my doctor says.


PIC and KIDKAT and SDG, I too have to find THE CARD, for m day. But its for my mother in law. She 'forgot' youngest DD 18th birthday. But likes to remind us of her own. I just buy a card that is blank inside, and put from ....... That's it.
Today she 'popped' into the salon DD works at, just at the same time as the lady from the estate agents. She managed to hear enough of the conversation to be able to understand she has just bought her first home. Then she stopped to quiz her about it. My girl thought fast on her feet and said she had a client I and needed to prepare. So we await a call for more info.
Its to buy 50% share, the other half is rented. My mum is paying the mortgage deposit and fees. It means her house will cost less to part rent and buy a month than she pays for a private rent, It is also a bigger house and has a little garden. And my MIL said my girls would amount to nothing like their dad..... well I am proud. Their dad works full time and we have had a few tough times but he always does his best.

What makes people like this? Why? what pleasure do they get from it? :mad:

I'm glad she is getting her first home, how exciting!!

kidcat wrote: »

((hugs))) CC



VJsmum - speaking from experience any assessment or diagnosis takes an incredible amount of time, if your DD is in year 13 she is almost an adult as well which complicates things.
If you wait until after exams, I am almost certain you have no hope of anything being sorted for Uni, time is your biggest enemy unfortunately. Adult diagnosis is even harder in my experience and takes longer. My advice would be if you want to explore the possibility you will need to move quickly and discuss it now.
I do appreciate that it could affect her exams, and thats not good, but from a long term outlook, she can resit them next year if the worse happens and she has only lost one year.

I am sure I have written that badly, and I don't intend to cause offence its just having gone through the diagnostic process with both my boys, and supported many families through the process I know how long and hard a journey it is.

I have had another long day again, kitten slept much better last night thankfully so at least I was slightly less tired today.

Went to costc@ today and managed to buy toilet rolls on offer, cat food and a few other bits on offer. But on my way out I discovered they make prescription swimming goggles for children so once I get a copy of DS10 prescription I can get a set made which will make swimming so much easier for him.


Nutty - well done your DD, she must be so thrilled buying her first home

This year I am going to order a mothers day card from one of these places online - was hoping for an offer for a freebie, will make it so much simpler for me.
My father has been texting asking questions again and leaving cryptic guilt messages - am at doctors with your mother was todays. I am learning to ignore the messages for a minimum 24 hours.

I never thought of the lack of help you get once they have left school, I remember someone else telling me this. This is what I love about this place is all the varied points of view. Together we could rule the world :rotfl:

Budget day then

PiC x

VJsmum

kidcat wrote: »

((hugs))) CC

VJsmum - speaking from experience any assessment or diagnosis takes an incredible amount of time, if your DD is in year 13 she is almost an adult as well which complicates things.
If you wait until after exams, I am almost certain you have no hope of anything being sorted for Uni, time is your biggest enemy unfortunately. Adult diagnosis is even harder in my experience and takes longer. My advice would be if you want to explore the possibility you will need to move quickly and discuss it now.
I do appreciate that it could affect her exams, and thats not good, but from a long term outlook, she can resit them next year if the worse happens and she has only lost one year.

I am sure I have written that badly, and I don't intend to cause offence its just having gone through the diagnostic process with both my boys, and supported many families through the process I know how long and hard a journey it is.

.

Offence? Goodness no. I am grateful for all insights, this is new territory for us. Luckily she probably isn't going to uni this year as she is auditioning for acting school and hasn't been successful as yet and I don't tink she will be. It is likely she will do an HND somewhere near and stay at home, she isn't emotionally ready to leave - which is what set me thinking. I will also get some advice from school, as someone suggested.

Reading up about it last night, I think I might be on that spectrum too, which was a bit of a shock.

Thanks again, so much

Floss

paidinchickens wrote: »

...I never thought of the lack of help you get once they have left school...

Can I just say though, that not everyone has no help after school...

DS1 has had mental health problems for some years, picked up when he was a student at Leeds Uni and has been recognised as potentially adult ADHD, he is currently undergoing various assessments. He is almost 28, lives & works in Leeds and bought himself a flat last year on a single salary under the Help to Buy scheme.

DS2 was diagnosed as dyslexic Irlen Syndrome when he was 19 and just starting at London Uni, despite repeated questions being asked all through primary & high school and 6th form college. Thanks to the support from them & our local disabled student finance team (who paid for his laptops, printer etc), he now has a degree, a Masters degree and will be 26 when he goes back to studying for another Masters at Oxford in September

I know these are not on a par with for example Aspergers, but I just wanted to show that some young adults have had outside support.

Floss

monnagran wrote: »

.... I'm not sure whether it's cheaper to use the car to ferry loads to the tip or if it might be better to wait until we've finished and hire a skip....

Monna, when I moved from my house into DH's house in 2006, we got a skip...the skip arrived the week before I moved and was removed on my last day, full of rubbish. I found it really handy to have as it saved me taking too much tat & stuff not worth keeping (like my first wedding album ) and meant that I didn't have to find time for a tip run or be mindful of the wheelie bin overflowing.