The OS Doorstep - a helpful and supportive thread in these tough times

Possession

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VJsmum

Hello all, I have been lurking along but not posting

I wonder if I could ask you lovely people for some advice. In a "blinding flash" moment, I have realised that it is likely that my 17 year old DD has Aspergers. Her obsessive behaviour, lack of some social skills etc all fit into the profile. Whilst she is highly academic, I can see that she is so unlike her peers it started me thinking and it all fits. I have told no-one - not even OH yet as he is away for a few days. To be honest, it is a bit of a relief as her "different ness" has been worrying me and as she gets older I think a diagnosis will help her.

My problem is that she is in year 13, about to take her final A level exams. She is freaking out about it but is actually in line for AAB at worse. Do I tell her now or wait till after she finishes? Does anyone have an opinion, or rather experience as to whether she will be better with the diagnosis or it would be better to wait? I will talk to OH tomorrow when he comes back, but wanted to garner opinion and I know sme of you have experience,

Thanks so much

Possession

I think I would wait until she finishes VJsMum. I can't see any benefit to her thinking only short term in knowing/pursuing the diagnosis. It's bound to take some time to get a diagnosis and all that time it will be a big distraction from revision. The only benefit would be if she would get extra help/assistance in the exams but it certainly doesn't seem as if she needs this.

Pooky

VJs - My friend went through this recently, her son is in the same year. Like your daughter he is predicted A's and A* but the stress of the revision and the exams sends him into complete meltdowns.


She had a chat with him and he was relived (after the initial uncomfortableness of the conversation) that someone had noticed. He said he always knew he was different but as no one else had mentioned it he thought he was imagining it. They spoke to the school who have given him lots of assistance (without an official diagnosis) - extra time in exams, copies of notes that they should be copying from the screen, a school lap top to work on to help with his presentation issues etc. It's given him a lot more confidence to know he's getting some help.


The issue is that he now needs an official diagnosis for Uni to qualify for any help so my friend is just starting the ball rolling on that.


Its a difficult conversation to have but important I feel. Might be worth a chat to the school first to see what they could do to help and ask if any of her teachers have noticed what you're seeing?

Memory_Girl

mardatha wrote: »

SDG whose picture was it the the ring was found beside?
PIC lots of people in here will know exactly how you feel. Mothers are not all nice homely cuddly best friends.

Oooh mardatha - did you get a twinkle when she said that too?

PIC - Lots of us on here would love to have you as a daughter - so this Mothers Day WE will send you all our love instead.

MG

candlelight_2013

Cornish Chick have been thinking a great deal about you and DH recently.

Much love

Candlelightx

ginnyknit

Me too Candlelight, I think of her and hubby everyday.

savingqueen

Hi guys, no time to read today (will catch up this eve) but just to say I have heard from Cornish chick who wants me to pass on her love to all of you. She hasn't much time to read or post but keeps up as best as she can. Her DH is very poorly now and I said we are all thinking of them both every day as I know we all are- I don't think she will mind me saying that.


sq x


ps just noticed some posts about CC but have to dash to pick up DH, hope nothing has crossed, back later

paidinchickens

Memory_Girl wrote: »

Oooh mardatha - did you get a twinkle when she said that too?

PIC - Lots of us on here would love to have you as a daughter - so this Mothers Day WE will send you all our love instead.

MG

Ok you lot now I have a tear in my eye and I sincerely thank you as it means a lot.

VJ I would wait til after. My DS is in year 12 and he is always stressed. If you ask him to clean his room he goes into breakdown as he says he has too much to do already.

If anyone fancies carrot cake with sloppy icing your welcome to pop round I'll even provide coffee

PiC x

Knit_Witch

Thanks for letting us know SQ

PIC - I'll take a slice and a mug of tea please