Taking off wedding rings?

paulineb_2

madison-nyc wrote: »

Of course I feel guilty!!! Who in their right mind wouldn't?? he still loves me, and for all intents and purposes, hasn't done anything wrong. So yes I feel 'a tad' guilty for booting him out of his home and breaking up our family unit!

No, I don't have feelings for anyone else. I said that I had a couple of flirty conversations with an old school friend on fb, no intention of meeting or anything but I wouldn't like it if my husband did that so I know it's wrong and a big sign that our marriage wasn't working.

I've never been through a break up before as this marriage was my first 'proper' relationship so yes I'm hesitant and worried about hurting him further if he sees I've taken my rings off etc.

But youve made that choice. It was your choice and of course you are going to have mixed feelings about it, its natural.

However, on your previous threads it was clear that you had been struggling for quite some time with your relationship and you've made the decision to end it.

I think asking your husband to leave should be a clear enough sign that its over and yes hes probably going to feel bad about you taking your rings off, but if you dont take them off at some point on the flip side of that, he might get false hope that you might take him back at some point. And if you are on reasonable talking terms you could let him know why you are taking them off, that its not to hurt him, its just part of the moving on process.

You are always going to have a connection to him, that connection doesnt mean you need to wear your wedding or engagement rings for a set time after youve split.

And you can always in time if you want get your rings made into another piece of jewellery that you can wear.

JimmyTheWig

MarilynMonroe wrote: »

When you are 100% sure its over and theres no going back.
The fact you are wavering over it says to me you might want him back.

I agree with this. Because...

madison-nyc wrote: »

I'm hesitant and worried about hurting him further if he sees I've taken my rings off etc.

Of course he'll be hurt if he sees you've taken your rings off.
But not half as hurt as he'll be if he sees you _haven't_ taken your rings off, thinks there is still a chance of getting back together, then having his hopes dashed all over again.

NAR

Can't remember exactly, but probably around the time divorce petition was served! :eek:

When I was getting married again my wife and I sold our old wedding rings to help fund our new ones; so something good came out of them after all! :rotfl: :rotfl:

RupertTheCat

I've never put mine on! I've been married for 9 years now and have never worn either my engagement or wedding ring. Whereas my husband, who didn't want a ring in the first place, refuses to take his off. Rings don't mean a thing to me, but it's interesting they do to others.

Georgiegirl256

RupertTheCat wrote: »

I've never put mine on! I've been married for 9 years now and have never worn either my engagement or wedding ring. Whereas my husband, who didn't want a ring in the first place, refuses to take his off. Rings don't mean a thing to me, but it's interesting they do to others.

Oh good, I'm not the only one who feels like that?! :rotfl:

Do people comment on it to you? I've got a feeling that people will say stuff to me, it seems to mean a lot more to other people than the person not wearing them.

My OH has got a ring for the ceremony, I don't think he's ever wore jewellery in his whole life though, so wether or not it remains on....we'll have to wait and see :rotfl:

Padstow

Thumper7 wrote: »

I think my husband's mistress has insisted. I'm still wearing the lot, wedding ring, engagement ring and eternity ring.....(now there is a bloody joke). I will probably move the engagement ring and eternity ring to my right hand at sometime but the wedding ring stays put. Mind you its only been 3 weeks.

Sorry to hear that Thumper.
Found the ex's wedding ring on his key ring so knew as you did. What's good for him etc., so removed mine and never wore it again. Would have chapped my finger putting it on, taking it off, due to all the affairs he had.

RupertTheCat

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Oh good, I'm not the only one who feels like that?! :rotfl:

Do people comment on it to you? I've got a feeling that people will say stuff to me, it seems to mean a lot more to other people than the person not wearing them.

My OH has got a ring for the ceremony, I don't think he's ever wore jewellery in his whole life though, so wether or not it remains on....we'll have to wait and see :rotfl:

His step mother has remarked in horror on it, but it's none of her business so I ignored her. No one else has ever mentioned it, apart from my other half who occasionally comments that he doesn't know why he spent so much time and effort buying me a lovely engagement ring.

I object to people knowing my marital status from what's on my body and, when it comes down to it, I know I'm married and quite happily. I'm not really concerned with what other people think - they should probably find more worthwhile things to concern themselves with!

ellay864

I took mine off straight away, threw them at him as he left me for somebody else. I knew he hadn't done anything with them so a few months later I asked for them back. I threw the wedding rin in the bin (it wasn't worth much, only plain 9ct gold) and that felt really cathartic. I kept the engagement and eternity rings tucked away out of sight for ages and then some years later I dug them out and wore them occasionally as dress rings. They were sapphires so didn't look out of place and for me it was significant as it let me prove to myself I was over it and could wear them without getting upset

marisco_2

paulineb wrote: »

If you dont want to be with someone, taking off the ring should be no big deal.

That statement doesn't take into account the fact that many people walk away from a marriage devastated that it has failed. Not wanting to be with someone and not feeling able to stay married to someone are two totally different things. Taking off your wedding ring is admitting that you wont be with the person you had planned to spend the rest of your life with any more. That is a big deal.

madison-nyc

marisco wrote: »

That statement doesn't take into account the fact that many people walk away from a marriage devastated that it has failed. Not wanting to be with someone and not feeling able to stay married to someone are two totally different things. Taking off your wedding ring is admitting that you wont be with the person you had planned to spend the rest of your life with any more. That is a big deal.

You've hit the nail on the head there!