Taking off wedding rings?

paulineb_2

Op, this is the third post on almost the same subject, forgive me for saying this, but you sound a tad guilty given that you asked your husband to leave and he didnt want to end the marriage

Its absolutely your choice, but getting rid of the ring isnt going to solve the way you feel about this and as I recall, you had feelings for someone else, correct me if I am wrong.

tayforth

Straight away.

I haven't even looked at them since.

It was a blessed relief to take them off. They represent an unhappy time in my life.

I don't know what to do with them, but I will never wear them again.

paulineb_2

Yes, I looked back at your posting history, you said your eyes wandered when you were out and you had been speaking to other people online.

Im going to say this the way I see it, take your rings off as soon as you can and get on with your life

For all his faults your ex doesnt deserve you chatting away to other people online denying his existence

A clean break would be better for him and you, you obviously dont want to be married to him anymore.

MarilynMonroe_2

When you are 100% sure its over and theres no going back.
The fact you are wavering over it says to me you might want him back.

marisco_2

There is no right time. It took me weeks to feel ready to remove my wedding ring. I had already received the decree nisi and absolute through the post, which were gut wrenching enough. Taking off my ring was me finally admitting that my marriage was well and truly over, the final closure.

madison-nyc

paulineb wrote: »

Op, this is the third post on almost the same subject, forgive me for saying this, but you sound a tad guilty given that you asked your husband to leave and he didnt want to end the marriage

Its absolutely your choice, but getting rid of the ring isnt going to solve the way you feel about this and as I recall, you had feelings for someone else, correct me if I am wrong.

Of course I feel guilty!!! Who in their right mind wouldn't?? he still loves me, and for all intents and purposes, hasn't done anything wrong. So yes I feel 'a tad' guilty for booting him out of his home and breaking up our family unit!

No, I don't have feelings for anyone else. I said that I had a couple of flirty conversations with an old school friend on fb, no intention of meeting or anything but I wouldn't like it if my husband did that so I know it's wrong and a big sign that our marriage wasn't working.

I've never been through a break up before as this marriage was my first 'proper' relationship so yes I'm hesitant and worried about hurting him further if he sees I've taken my rings off etc.

Pollycat

madison-nyc wrote: »

Ok, so to those of you who have been or are separated:

How long after separation did you take your rings off?

When is the 'right' time?

I think this is a question that will have different answers depending on the circumstances of the ending of the marriage.

I'm 100% in agreement with those ladies who have been cheated on and say 'immediately'.

It sounds like your circumstances are different, OP.
Maybe it will hurt your ex if he sees you without your rings but it might just hit it home to him that the marriage is over and thus allow him to start the process of moving on.

Georgiegirl256

piglet74 wrote: »

I am married (very happy) but I don't wear my wedding and eternity ring as they don't fit anymore (see sig !) But some of the gossip-mongers in work have been saying that they think we have split up.. (Hubby works away a lot.. Far to much in fact! But is currently looking for a new job) whereas I would never even notice if someone was wearing a wedding ring or not

Well done on the weight loss btw! :T

It's amazing what significance is tied to one little piece of jewellery. A couple I worked with, he was the boss and she was the admin, always wore their rings, then one day she didn't have it on, something innocent like she'd simply forgot to put it on, and like you say, the gossip-mongers were having a field day! No their marriage wasn't in trouble, she'd just left it at home by accident!

I don't wear my engagement ring, I think people have got used to that by now, I'm just really not that keen on jewellery tbh....good knows what people are going to say if I don't have my wedding ring on! Known me, who errs on the sarcastic side, I'll be like "Dave I haven't got my ring on, OMG call the divorce lawyers!" I mean I will wear it, I've just got a tendency to be forgetful

But in answer to the OP's question, if you think the marriage is over, no chance of reconciling, then IMO take it off, but you have to do what's right for you, and if you feel it's too early, then keep it on. I know a lot of people keep them on because they don't want to give out the "I'm free!" signals, as it's too early for them to even think about dating again.

richardvc

I took mine off the minute she said that she didn't want to be married to me anymore.

I cannot remember whether she caught it or not when I threw it back at her !!!

tea_lover

I wore mine for about 6 months afterwards I think - but the marriage only last 8 weeks and I liked the rings so I wanted to keep wearing them! I still wore them sometimes after that for years. I was quite young, and looked even younger, so it was useful at times (meeting with the mortgage advisor, things like that).

Which probably makes no sense to anyone else but I know what I mean lol.

I still have them, and tbh would quite happily wear them now but as I've been with someone else for the past 8 years that would be weird. My OH has made it very clear that we won't be getting married and I hate knowing that I'll never get to wear wedding rings again.