NO job, NO money, NO BF, NO social life

supermum38

pollypenny wrote: »

Supermum, you have a Sky upgrade on your signature, as a £100 M&S 'freebie'. Hardly free. How much does Sky cost you?

Paying for Sky is nothing like paying for contents insurance (sensible) or a car (probably a necessity).

You'd still have a TV with loads of Freeview channels.

To worry about putting food on the table and having trouble with a landlord while paying out for Sky, and an upgrade at that, is mad.

Please note the Sky upgrade is from 2011 (2 years ago) and to explain it was from recommending two friends who got £50 each and I got 2x£50. I've never paid for the full package because I cancel then they offer me deals.

I DO NOT have Freeview on my tv OR an aerial to receive it!

My Sky package is the standard and below the 'normal' rate because I was lucky not to have it increased last year (some kind of promise) I have free movies which they recently extended (by post-not my request) and I have given the 28 days notice now, to take me down to the minimum as per your suggestion. As I said I did not rush to change this, because I had an interview before my last day at work and had one each week since, and had WTC run on, so thought i had 4 weeks to get another job to keep my WTC running and continue paying my bills.

Sorry if you think I'm stupid because this was not my first port of call, I was actually more intent on getting these jobs and sorting the ESA and HB, before I realised they were not going to pay me any ESA for 8 weeks and having paid all my bills out of my final wage packet (water, sewage, car tax, rent) I didn't budget for the technicality that would leave me in this position. My fault entirely!

Top_Girl

You need to be happy with yourself before you're ready for a functional relationship.

Take some time out and sort the rest of it out first. Please.

supermum38

Thanks Paulineb.

I know I sound like I'm having a grumble, I suppose I am. It's so frustrating to know how much I have achieved and yet it hasn't got me to where I want to be.

Yes, a relationship is not the answer. It's more that I see other people (some with partners) complaining about their financial problems but they go out & by sofas on credit, then they argue that they are entitled to a 'life'. Aren't we all? Mine has been on hold for years and I think that since I have little baggage and know how to survive the tough times, I would make a great partner. We could go out for meals (mystery shops), get nice food (vouchers), go to events for free (marshalling), go to Spain (cheap flights-mum's house), watch FREE movies (sky offer), get free stuff (freecycle)...

I guess what I'm trying to say is it all seems worse when you are lonely.

paulineb_2

supermum38 wrote: »

Thanks Paulineb.

I know I sound like I'm having a grumble, I suppose I am. It's so frustrating to know how much I have achieved and yet it hasn't got me to where I want to be.

Yes, a relationship is not the answer. It's more that I see other people (some with partners) complaining about their financial problems but they go out & by sofas on credit, then they argue that they are entitled to a 'life'. Aren't we all? Mine has been on hold for years and I think that since I have little baggage and know how to survive the tough times, I would make a great partner. We could go out for meals (mystery shops), get nice food (vouchers), go to events for free (marshalling), go to Spain (cheap flights-mum's house), watch FREE movies (sky offer), get free stuff (freecycle)...

I guess what I'm trying to say is it all seems worse when you are lonely.

Finding a partner isnt the way to mend your loneliness. I understand what you are saying.

But you know as well as I do when its the wrong relationship its just misery

You have to be happy on your own before you even contemplate being with a partner.

Your life doesnt need to be on hold. Sometimes what we do when we are lonely is put our own lives on hold, because its easier not to engage with people.

I dated someone briefly last year, it didnt work out, and Im glad it didnt work out, Id be here all day telling you why.

Thats the thing, the grass is always greener on the other side. Even people in long term relationships have their issues, I know people who arent happily married.

Work on building up your social life first and then see how you feel about meeting someone.

geoffky

Oh to have the chance to be 38 again....When you are 75(i am not) you would give the world to be 38...Good luck and i wish you financial luck..

amyloofoo

Supermum, you've been given some lovely support and good advice on this thread so I'm not sure I could really add to it; but I do wish you lived nearby so I could give you a big hug and a sympathetic shoulder over a cup of tea! You've clearly done an amazing job of raising your children, despite some very difficult circumstances and you've achieved so much in the last few years :grouphug:

The lovely ladies on the old style board would I'm sure be able to help with cheap meal planning, etc - although you already sound pretty clued up with all your breadmaking. Do you have a local Mind group? They often have free courses and social events like art classes - they really helped my MIL when she was recovered enough to want to socialise, but discovered that being unwell had left her socially isolated.

chatterup

I'm sorry to hear how you feel. I've felt badly about myself in the past. But, things will get better and stay positive. I find that you only need 1 or 2 good friends to talk to because it's hard to find people that care about you. And just have acquaintances where you can hang out with once in a while. But things will look up, and the best relationships/couple is when you're not looking. I have found love with someone I was friends with for 3 years and it's been great. And it can happen with you too!