Daydream thread... without the rose-tinted specs

r.a.i.n.b.o.w

Oh gosh, it's been such a long time (2/3 months?) since I last posted that you've all moved on to a new thread that's already 44 pages long...
:eek:

So...since I last posted, I have extended my HomeSwap (homeswapper.co.uk) search to include Dorset. I WAS intending to concentrate on just South East England - Hastings etc - but my father (in his early 70s, lives in Weymouth, shares house with my mother, they've been divorced for many years) has had increasing mobility and health and care issues over the past couple of years, and it got to the point where I had to just take the reigns and put an end to the never ending circle of my mother insisting she provides care for my father but doesn't see why she should because she doesn't get paid for it, and my father refusing to go to any appointments that my mother made because she nags too much...

So I went down for a few days and got the ball rolling with social services and Dr and district nurse and blood tests (and took him to other places, such as the shoe shop, opticians, mobile phone shop (for a new handset), pub! lol), and ever since then his care (particularly "personal" care) needs have been more than met, and within in literally 2 weeks he's shaving and washing regularly again (it had got down to 1 proper wash every 3 months, and that was only if it was a really special occasion - and I'm not kidding!) and being reviewed by all kinds of teams, and being seen to by social services, occupational therapy, foot care lady, COPD team, and physiotherapy is due to start any day. Even his speech - which previously seemed slurred and gruff - has improved to the point where I can hear him properly on the phone now.

So...after that ramble the point I'm trying to make is that I have extended my HomeSwap search areas/terms to include Dorset because *IF* I can get a move down there it would be ideal for me to be able to help my parents out. This wasn't in my life plans at all previously, I presumed my parents were headstrong enough to sort their own lives (care/health needs etc) out, but it's fine. I've opened my eyes to the Dorset possibilities, I have a couple of friends who live there so it would be less of a risk (socially) than going to Hastings (where I know nobody) and as my friend pointed out (as she was driving me around, championing Dorset life!), I have to think of my own age too, when deciding where to move to. This is very true! I may only be in my early-40s, but there's no point me moving to a hip-&-hapnin funky town, or a village of young families, when all I want is a good pub and quiet neighbours!
:money:

In other news...the bedroom tax is crippling me There were a couple of weeks where I couldn't pay the extra money and now I'm being threatened with court action for the arrears (and I do owe about £200 from before the changes). I'm eBaying all I can (when I have time) to try to make up the shortfall, but am just spending the extra few quid (literally only about a tenner a week) on wine. Doesn't pay the debts, I know.

Anyway, I'm still hanging on. Hoping that work will pick up again after the summer holidays.

Davesnave

Good to hear from you again rainbow.:) Sorry the Bedroom Tax thing is hitting you so hard though.

Parents are important and good to have when you're young, but in many cases there's a role reversal later on and they end up like naughty children! I have a friend who despaired recently when her parents, both in their 90s, went out and bought a brand new car.."Because we can." :rotfl:There was nothing wrong with the 'old' one.

Dorset would be good for a Homeswap, other than the bits that are on solid chalk. I have relatives in the county, and I've lived there too, but it's kinda pricey for smallholding places. :eek:

Interlink Express is a franchise, I think, so I intend to speak to Mr Hurdler personally when he next visits the neighbour. I will just ask him why he does that when there is a perfectly good turning circle in here which my Sprinter van goes around just fine. There really isn't an answer! We had a head-on smash just down the road a few weeks ago....another van driver involved...and the visibility there is better than where this guy parks.

I agree with you CTC and alfie. We'll put the caravan in and see what transpires, as it won't be connected for 6 months or so.

Will now read your link Maggie....:)

Davesnave

Read the link Maggie....rather a lot of TLAs! But I get the gist and anything which gives new leads to research , which seems complex, must be good.

A dear friend of mine was struck with ME whilst teaching in our primary school, but she wasn't the first. She was an outstanding practitioner and only just over 30 years of age. A huge loss, though she re-trained part time and now does a limited amount of 1:1 with disabled children.

ferretkeeper

Hi r.a.i.n.b.o.w welcome back!

Funnily enough there's a discussion on the bedroom tax on telly, I've been listening to it while I'm on the internet this morning. It is ridiculous that people who genuinely need the extra space are being penalised (there are some that actually don't), many people who would willingly move to a smaller property can't because there are none, and families who need to move out of B&Bs etc are stuck. I'd probably get a lodger in and not tell 'em. I may have to do just that here one day!

I have MiL in Weymouth, FiL passed away there recently but his care in the local hospital was exceptional, he had Alzheimer's and various complications/infections that kept him in the hospital for his last few months.

It is a lovely place to live, I love Dorset and all of the SW really, as Dave said way out of price range for us to live there! Fingers crossed for you getting the swap.

alfie_1

LIR....if you get this, this morning ,can you just txt me so i know what phone number you are on and then when my powers of persuasion ?? guide the pilot [if we fly ??] near you i will send a txt back.... allow for the fear factor that the txt may be blank.......:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

hip SEEMS to have improved...well the "niggleing" has gone...:D

choille

Better Days really glad the op went well. It's scary with GPs at the moment & getting seen. You have to kick off or else you just get left at the back of the Q & when you need, really have to be seen, you have to make that known & vocal. It's dreadful, but I've had to shout... a lot.

CTC - I'm really sorry about all of your bother. It's a tricky one & I think folks have aired really good, thought provoking advice. They should have to pay any costs involved & should be muzzled if outdoors at al times ( so should their dogs!), but that's just an opinion & I don't think folks should have dogs that they just put out the back - why have them?
Dogs are pack animals & will revert if left to get on with it - It is the owners fault.
With this being a holidoid area & plenty of folks with the arrogant air & shouting 'right to roam'.
If you have a building site - you can tell folks to sod off, but it's seeing them before their dogs do damage/harm. I have friends who have had lambs ripped to bits by a neighbours rescue dog that jumped a fence & it caused massive rifts & the eventual distruction of the dog, but the damage it did to relations is as devastating in a way.

We had a lightening strike on friday & lost phone & internet until now. What massive downpours & thunder & lightening. We nearly got the roof finished too, but can't be helped.

LIR thanks for your thoughts on Etsy. You always get shilly shally sellers anywhere I suppose. It does look quite professional overall, but wondered if it gets customers as Ebay has been very slow of late.

My hen that was sat of 8 eggs - well she sat on 2 & thenstarted scooping in other eggs a week later has eventually hatched one chick & she's so pleased. I must admit I'd given up thinking that she could possibly hatch anything & was considering getting rid of the eggs when she jumped off at mid day to eat. Just as well I didn't!

Nearly caught up with all the pages now. Hope everyone is fine & getting there - wherever that is............

lostinrates

Alfie.....god only knows where my mobile is ATM.....I have been looking but cannot find it to text you.


Choille, my friend has not Made a single etsy sale yet! IMO the prices he asks are steep. His stuff is vintage finds, and some are really rather lovely, some......less so.

Rummer

I have bought a lot of things from Etsy and regularly look on there for interesting items however I would agree that often things are not affordably priced. Art and fibre/yarn are the main things that I have bought as well as some unusual jewellery. A lot of the items I have bought have been highlighted on specialists sites that I read so I have known about the seller, I think you need to self promote for sales to start coming in.

r.a.i.n.b.o.w

Davesnave wrote: »

Parents are important and good to have when you're young, but in many cases there's a role reversal later on and they end up like naughty children! I have a friend who despaired recently when her parents, both in their 90s, went out and bought a brand new car.."Because we can." :rotfl:There was nothing wrong with the 'old' one.

This is so true, I had to have my bossy head on when I was down there, PLUS having to teach my father how to use his new inhaler and reminding him that if I'm wheeling him down the street and we stop, he MUST put the brakes on :rotfl:

r.a.i.n.b.o.w

ferretkeeper wrote: »

Hi r.a.i.n.b.o.w welcome back!

Funnily enough there's a discussion on the bedroom tax on telly, I've been listening to it while I'm on the internet this morning. It is ridiculous that people who genuinely need the extra space are being penalised (there are some that actually don't), many people who would willingly move to a smaller property can't because there are none, and families who need to move out of B&Bs etc are stuck. I'd probably get a lodger in and not tell 'em. I may have to do just that here one day!

I have MiL in Weymouth, FiL passed away there recently but his care in the local hospital was exceptional, he had Alzheimer's and various complications/infections that kept him in the hospital for his last few months.

It is a lovely place to live, I love Dorset and all of the SW really, as Dave said way out of price range for us to live there! Fingers crossed for you getting the swap.

Thanks FK

I definitely don't NEED the extra bedroom (although it is nice to be able to have my grandson/daughters/family stay over), and it does anger me when I see/hear of the disabled families who NEED that extra room for equipment storage or a carer etc not being allowed leeway on the bedroom tax. I have the 'extra' room purely because my children have left home - but looking around at the rents for 1-beds round here, many cost MORE than the rent for this place, so where's the "saving" in that? I won't have to pay bedroom tax, but I won't be happy, I always said that if it's not THIS home that I live in, it will be somewhere coastal/semi-rural where I WANT to live, not where the council try to stick me. Thankfully I have a secure tenancy, so they can't force me out. Yet! :cool:

I did consider a lodger, but one of the perks of living alone is being able to walk around in me birthday suit, especially in the hot weather!:rotfl:I may yet have to reconsider that, though!