9 month old in full time nursery

tooldle

DD went to nursery at four and a half months (full time). Only 18 weeks maternity in those days. DD thrived on it. Now at the age of 13, she still sometimes talks happily about nursery memories.
When she first went to the nursery class in school, she confidently told me "you can go now". All the other parents got to go in and play, and settle their kids. Confidence, maybe, or perhaps just being used to the idea that mum would drop her off, she would have a good time and mum would be back later to take her home. Some kids might not have experienced that previously and wwould understandably be uncertain of what was happening.
Nursery certainly worked out very well for us. Personally I didn't want a childminder.

glitter_fairy

an9i77 wrote: »

That's a very good point, it really annoys me when things like this assume that the only parent that can care for the chlid full time is a mother. My partner has cared full time for our child the past two years (he's only stopping as I'm finishing work to have another baby) and it really works for us, as he much prefers that role whereas I prefer to have a job and get bored stuck at home all day. Everywhere you go though you see this stereotype eg mothercare shop, mother and baby magazine, mum's gone to iceland and my personal pet hate, mother and child parking spaces at the shops (not all of them but some)! So can my partner not park there if he's out with the little one too?

We will never get sexual equality in the workplace until we have it at home (and in supermarket car parks) first!

Your right we need to really stop assuming fathers are not important. These days my husband does more of the child care than I do due to our work eduels, he is just as capable as I am and our children are just as happy

Candlewax

lindsaygalaxy wrote: »

Would your work let you do more hours per day, but fit the hours into say 4 and a half days? Or could you afford to cut it down to 4 days.

If I could I would, I have considered all the options but it will have to be full time.

glitter_fairy

Candlewax wrote: »

If I could I would, I have considered all the options but it will have to be full time.

I dont know what you do for a living but could you find another job? or your other half? so you work oppersite shifts? or could he get a second job? x

lilymay1

glitter_fairy wrote: »

or could he get a second job? x

I would never ask my husband to take on another job just so I could stay at home with a child. I'm a bit astounded people would even suggest that. The entire conversation above is about equality for mothers and fathers!

OP, your fears are normal and everyone experiences them at some point. You will have noticed, however, that those of us who have put our children in nursery have happy, healthy children and we as parents didn't suffer too much either.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do

glitter_fairy

lilymay1 wrote: »

I would never ask my husband to take on another job just so I could stay at home with a child. I'm a bit astounded people would even suggest that. The entire conversation above is about equality for mothers and fathers!

OP, your fears are normal and everyone experiences them at some point. You will have noticed, however, that those of us who have put our children in nursery have happy, healthy children and we as parents didn't suffer too much either.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do

It worked very well for us. We are a team and we both felt it was a priority for our children to be raised at home by us. So for the first part i stayed hme and he worked two jobs. Then he stayed at home, then back to me. Now he works part time and does childcare around school hours and I work 2 jobs.

im completly for equality in parenting

FBaby

All this reading makes me grateful that there wasn't such direct and easy access to supposed research on the internet and that what I have now is the ability to look back and be thankful that none of it applied to my two!

I didn't breastfeed, both my kids at nursery full-time, parents separated when oldest was 4, foreign mother... I could go on.... They are thankfully (oh I am sure through unbeleivable luck) defying all the statistics as they are both perfectly healthy,slim, both top of their class, popular, outgoing, well-behaved....like many of their friend with or without the same background.

There is only ONE thing for it, trusting your beliefs and instincts. If you are confident that what you are doing is right, then you are already more than half way there to do a good job as a parent.

Mojisola

FBaby wrote: »

There is only ONE thing for it, trusting your beliefs and instincts. If you are confident that what you are doing is right, then you are already more than half way there to do a good job as a parent.

And sometimes your circumstances mean that you have to do the best you can at the time - even if that's not the choice you would make if circumstances were better.

fluffnutter

lilymay1 wrote: »

I would never ask my husband to take on another job just so I could stay at home with a child. I'm a bit astounded people would even suggest that. The entire conversation above is about equality for mothers and fathers!

But what if he wanted to? Some men see their role as very much the provider - a bit old-fashioned for many tastes but I know my husband loves the fact that, because he works and earns well, it means I can stay at home and look after our baby.

It's what works for the family as a whole. And for some men, particularly when their children are infants that means earning the wedge, not changing the nappies. Up to them innit.

Equality doesn't mean 'both doing the same thing'. It means 'both having the same choices'.

lilymay1

fluffnutter wrote: »

But what if he wanted to? Some men see their role as very much the provider - a bit old-fashioned for many tastes but I know my husband loves the fact that, because he works and earns well, it means I can stay at home and look after our baby.

It's what works for the family as a whole. And for some men, particularly when their children are infants that means earning the wedge, not changing the nappies. Up to them innin.

Equality doesn't mean 'both doing the same thing'. It means 'both having the same choices'.

You've said it yourself. It's about choice. I said I would never ask my husband to take on a second job. If he chose to, or suggested it, it would be a different matter.

Having said that, I consider SAHM's to be financially dependent on others - not a position I want to be in.