9 month old in full time nursery

MarilynMonroe_2

If you've absolutely no other choice then really don't listen to both sides, just you believe your child will be fine!

FBaby

mrcow wrote: »

That's really sad to read

There are 1001 things you can do with your child. You should make the most of this time. Once they are grown and at e.g. secondary school, you'll lose so much of that precious time together and regret missed opportunities.

I don't think it is sad at all. I am also a mum who has never been very good at playing with my children, but I do bring other things into their education that doesn't come as naturally to other parents as it does to me. From the moment my children were little, I have encouraged them to express their feelings and understand why people act the way they do. As a result, they are very mature in their way to assess the world around them. No parent is perfect in all aspect of education and I personally think it is good parenting to accept this and that other people are just better at providing some aspect of education than we are.

I also agree that personally as probably much more to do how a child adapts at school then whether they went to a childminder, nursery or stayed home with mum.

Both my children were at nursery at a young age. My daughter was with a childminder from the age of 9 to 14 months, but the childminder did find it hard looking after her as she demanded so much attention (she was a lovely childminder). The moment she started nursery she flourished. She absolutely loved it, needed the stimulation and always looked forward to going. She started school very confident and happy.

My son was with a childminder full-time from the age of 5 months old. She was lovely too, but I transferred him to a nursery when he was 8 months so that he could go at the same place than my daughter. He too adjusted brilliantly, but then I had made sure I was totally satisfied with the nursery. They didn't flinch when I said that he could only fall asleep if rocked in his pushchair. They were happy to do that, until he was a bit older and they asked if I minded if they tried for him to fall asleep in the bed, but with the agreement that if he didn't, they would resort to the pushchair again. Care was very individual and his care worker, who only had one other baby part-time under her care was wonderful.

He did go through a stage around 18 months when he was a bit clinger when I left (his sister had never been), but the moment he went to the bigger kids group, when he started learning about numbers and letters, he was always happy to go. He too started school confident, seeing it as just an extension of nursery.

Leaving your child to a carer, whether childminder or nursery is always very hard to start with. What made it ok for me was to have total trust that the carers were following my recommendations and were adapting to my children's needs rather than the other way around. Even when my son went through his terrible twos, his care worker approached me about how to tackle it. As it was, she had exactly the same approach than the one I was using at home. I have asked a few times if my children wished they had stayed at home...they laughed, said I would never had the patience to entertain them like nursery did! They say they really did enjoy going.

The_Angry_Jock

We put DD in nursery 2 days a week and childminder 2 days a week from 6 months, I always thought it worth doing for the the social aspects. She's just turned 2 and still very quiet when I drop her off (which has it's benefits), but it's always great picking her up as she's super-excited to see daddy :cool::j:T:cool:

susancs

OP, all children in early years settings have to have an allocated key person who is responsible for their care and nurture. There is a good deal of research to show that young children and babies need to form an attachment bond with a responsive adult to thrive. My advice would be to provide as much information to the key person about your baby's routinue, preferences, personality etc to facilitate settling in and bonding. Leave plenty of time for settling in visits prior to returning to work, with you staying and playing with your child alongside the key person, helping the keyperson put your child down for a nap and eat a meal and then gradually leave the room for short periods of time. This is dual fold as you will get to know the key person and build up a relationship with them, as will your child. Your child will be happier going into somewhere he knows and you will be more confident leaving him with someone you have observed him with.

To provide for continuity of care provide the Nursery with items from home that may be part of his routinue such as comforters, sleeping bags, favoured blankets, snacks he particularly likes and a small amount back up favourite food, he is used to from home (in case he initially does not like the Nursery food).

The settling in period will probably be tiring for your little one with a new environment, different people and lots to take in, so if you could put him in a week or two before you return to work it would allow you to pick him up a bit earlier until he finds it all less exhausting and also allow you to telephone regularly to check on how he is doing.

Candlewax

Sorry I haven't managed to post sooner. Just to say thank you for the reassurances and positive stories. They have made me feel better reading them and helped me to gain a more balanced perspective on the positives of nursery. Thank you!

dancingfairy

I think you'd probably feel guilty whatever you did! If you went back to work full-time you'd probably get the ' mothers should stay at home and look after the kids routine from some' and that you were selfish for going back to work and if you stayed at home you'd get the whole 'parents should encourage their children to develop and mix with others' and mum should instill a strong work ethic in them.
You have to make the decision that works best for your family. Of course you will always wonder what if, but know that you will make the best decision you can for you family at the time.
df
Edit: Everybody and his wife (even ones without children) have an opinion on how you should parent, what your child should/shouldn't eat/do etc. Ignore them and go with what you think is best.

an9i77

If it makes you feel any better, I sometimes wish my son could go to nursery. He's 2 so a bit older than yours, and an only child (for now - I have another on the way) but it's not financially worth it for us to both work so he's always been at home with either me or his dad (or my mum's once a week). He's not really socialised (although he goes to a parent and child group a couple of times a week a lot of the other mums are on maternity leave so have babies rather than toddlers) and until very recently he would snatch other children's toys whenever he saw something he liked which put them off playing with him. He's never really spent any time with anyone who's not immediate family which in some ways is good as hopefully he feels secure, but it does mean he has that hurdle to get over in the future.
I am grateful that he's been able to stay at home but now that he's getting a bit older I can see the disadvantages, and can't wait until he gets his 15 free hours next year.
So there are a lot of advantages to going to nursery early on, please don't worry!

ttc39

I'm 39 and was In nursery from 4 months. I am more sociable than any of my friends, never had problems making new friends and I think that early nursery was the reason. My brother didn't go till about 4 years of age and is not very sociable at all.

Hth

Marker_2

My dd went to full time nursery at 5 months, and ds will go to childminders when he is 9 months (dependent on me securing a job).

With my dd I hated it. I missed her, I wished I was home with her more than anything but I had to return to work. It devastated me. She on the other hand loved it. Got attention all day long and then when I picked her up (after missing her all day) she had so much loving off me. She is 7 now, and I feel that all her years in nursery and childminding has done her the world of good. She is very sociable and playful.

I am again dreading leaving my ds. He is my last baby and I want to treasure all the time possible with him, but needs must, I have to return to work to allow us to live a quality of life.

It is so hard for any parent to return to work, leaving their babies in someone elses care. Nothing can prepare you for it, but you do get used to it and it just becomes part of your routine. xxx

Perfect10_2

I run a Baby Room in a Day Nursery and have children of my own and still dont envy you having to make a decision to go back to work.

But to reassure you I can tell you I love every child in my room. I appreciate the trust every single parent has put in me to let me look after their child on a daily basis. Some children I will spend more waking hours with in a week than their parents but I will make them feel special with every achievement, help them feel secure and form friendships and I will give them a cuddle when ever they want one ( to the detriment of my ever growing pile of paperwork that Ofsted wants me to complete!)

Use your instincts to choose a Nursery. You get a feeling for happy kids and happy staff. Talk to them, tell them your worries. I would rather have 10 phonecalls a day just to check Junior is ok than have a parent worried.

Hope it all works out for you x