9 month old in full time nursery

glitter_fairy

If your feeling this bad about it is there any way round it?
Could you move to a cheaper home?
Get rid of a car?
I think its important to listen to your instincts where you can.

Do you have a partner? if so could you work opposite shifts?
Could he get a second job?

Janepig

Valli wrote: »

When children start their full time education those who have been socialised, either through attending nurseries, going to toddler group and playgroup or pre-school ar even going to other quality childcare such as that provided by many childminders, cope much better than those who haven't. They tend to be (although their personalities will also have an impact) more outgoing, are able to share, are properly fully toilet trained etc.

MIL used to work in a primary school and she used to say that you could tell with the new starters those who'd never been to a nursery or pre-school, and those who had, by the ones who were clinging to their mother's legs, howling, and those who went in happily.

Jx

glitter_fairy

Janepig wrote: »

MIL used to work in a primary school and she used to say that you could tell with the new starters those who'd never been to a nursery or pre-school, and those who had, by the ones who were clinging to their mother's legs, howling, and those who went in happily.

Jx

Not always true. my oldest nephew went to nursery at 6 months old and screamed every day till he was 6 when his mum left him.

My children on the other hand didnt go to 4 and that was part time never cried they went happily had a great time

Janepig

glitter_fairy wrote: »

Not always true. my oldest nephew went to nursery at 6 months old and screamed every day till he was 6 when his mum left him.

My children on the other hand didnt go to 4 and that was part time never cried they went happily had a great time

It wasn't a scientific test! One of DD's friends was always crying, pretty much until juniors really - her three siblings were fine but she was always bawling.

Jx

sooty&sweep

Hi

Both my children were fulltime in nursery from about 4 months old. They are both well adjusted sociable children so I don't think it's done any harm !
If you think about it the child has an adult at their beck and call all day to entertain them ! They will do things you would never consider doing at home. I remember seeing pictures of where they'd stripped the toddlers down to their nappies and they were making a huge picture to go on the nursery wall using hand and foot paint prints. When they'd finished they cleaned them up and got them dressed. The children loved it !

Be warned though your child will probably try to make you feel guilty sometimes by crying when you leave. I would leave them but peep round the door or through a window a couple of minutes later and they'd always be playing happily ! Also when I tried to take them home at night they wouldn't want to go home !

Jen

glitter_fairy

sooty&sweep wrote: »

Hi

Both my children were fulltime in nursery from about 4 months old. They are both well adjusted sociable children so I don't think it's done any harm !
If you think about it the child has an adult at their beck and call all day to entertain them ! They will do things you would never consider doing at home. I remember seeing pictures of where they'd stripped the toddlers down to their nappies and they were making a huge picture to go on the nursery wall using hand and foot paint prints. When they'd finished they cleaned them up and got them dressed. The children loved it !

Be warned though your child will probably try to make you feel guilty sometimes by crying when you leave. I would leave them but peep round the door or through a window a couple of minutes later and they'd always be playing happily ! Also when I tried to take them home at night they wouldn't want to go home !

Jen

children that young do not try and make you feel guilty, its their natural reaction to being left, they are not being manipulative

ciderwithrosie_2

My oldest was in full-time nursery from 12 weeks old. Did it scar him emotionally? No. The nursery loved having such a young baby and he got loads of cuddles. I didn't realise until much later that I'd had PND (had a pretty awful birth, we were both injured and I ended up back in hospital having an op when he was 10 weeks old plus I'd had no experience of babies and believed the books that told me my newborn would sleep 22 hours out of 24!) so going back to work really helped me be a better mum - because it took that bit of pressure off me, I really started to enjoy it after that. He left there when his brother was born and I gave up (formally) working for 7 years.

My middle one who out of the 3 never went to a nursery or childminder (although they all went to Playgroup) was the clingiest outside of home.

fluffnutter

I think it's certainly true that being at nursery will give your child the opportunity to do stuff that might not happen at home. I'm pretty unimaginative and most of Freddie's time is spent in what I call 'unstructured play', i.e. just get on with it Freddie whilst mummy does other stuff I don't really spend an awful lot of time playing with him as such simply because I can't really think of what to do.

That won't be the case at nursery - they'll have loads of ideas and things to do and boredom won't be a problem. That together with being with other children (which most children seem to enjoy) means that nursery, in the main, is a very enjoyable way to spend your time.

You're not letting your son down, Candlewax. You're doing what you need to do. Children need loving care, it doesn't necessarily have to be from their mothers 24/7, despite what some people like to say (just a stick to beat women with). And don't ever worry that your bond with your son will be diminished by his being in nursery - you're his mummy. You're No. 1

olgadapolga

My DD was about 9 months old when she started nursery full-time. Whilst the staff were lovely, I hated it and bitterly regret that decision to this day (she is now 13).

I thought that she needed to go to nursery as we wouldn't be able to afford the mortgage/pay the bills etc. I was wrong, we could have managed but only just. I thought that she needed stimulation from others but again, I was wrong.

What she needed was a full-time parent. Yes, I probably will get shot down in flames for this but I really believe that her spending most of her waking hours at nursery changed our relationship totally and made her behaviour more "challenging" as there were more people telling her how she should behave, if you see what I mean.

With my two sons, I stayed at home until my youngest was ten months old, then my husband gave up work to look after them whilst I returned to work (I was paid more). A far better option that worked for us.

mrcow

Janepig wrote: »

MIL used to work in a primary school and she used to say that you could tell with the new starters those who'd never been to a nursery or pre-school, and those who had, by the ones who were clinging to their mother's legs, howling, and those who went in happily.

Jx

I completely disagree with this.

I've seen plenty of children do the leg clinging/screaming thing - even going ino year 1 (after a year at school!) - who have previously been to preschool.

I've also seen kids who absolutely hated nursery to the point of tantrums who were then 100% fine to start school and went without looking back.

I think it's more to do with personality and how the parent helps them deal with new situations rather than a simple nursery/no nursery situation.