Take Illegitimate sone on holiday abroad

**professor~yaffle**

pearl123 wrote: »

antdon wrote: »

Hi All

I have an illegitimate son QUOTE]

What a terrible expression. I would have hoped that word would have died out sometime in the 60's and 70's.

I've heard it more recently than that.

OP it's not at all unusual for kids to be illegitimate these days, nor is it that unusual for the child and the parent to have different surnames. Sign of the times. I doubt these things in themselves would present you with a problem. Enjoy your holidays.

Janepig

Errata wrote: »

I suspect it's probably because the word hit a nerve with some people.

I was going to say exactly the same thing.

Jx

Guest101

antdon wrote: »

It has worked for the last 8 years... So I am reluctant to change things and potentially cause a rift between his mother and myself..... His is happy & healthy...

My concern was only for the potential problems in taking him abroad.

Can i just say that it doesnt have to cause problems, what would happen if she had a tragic accident. Your son would enter the social system and you would have to fight to get custody.

A court granting parental responsibility, isnt for your sake. Its for his! You need to protect him from potential dangers.

Errata

Guest101 wrote: »

Can i just say that it doesnt have to cause problems, what would happen if she had a tragic accident. Your son would enter the social system and you would have to fight to get custody.

A court granting parental responsibility, isnt for your sake. Its for his! You need to protect him from potential dangers.

For goodness sake, the OP and the mother may have already discussed that scenario and come to an agreement about who best to look after the son.

mandragora_2

Could you see yourself using the term 'non-marital child' instead? It is something I've seen on documents before that I've had to deal with.

I don't know, because I'm not a lawyer, if 'Illegitimate' still stands as a legal term, but we tend not to call people 'b'stards' any more if they're born out of wedlock, nor 'wh*reson' which are both terms that have also been 'legal definitions' for children born to unmarried mothers. (If she was married at the time, and unless the then husband challenges it, the child is 'legitimised' anyway)

I think the word touched a nerve and got such a strong response because it has such a dated and judgemental feel to it, even though the intention of the OP is clearly a million miles from this. It might be a more appropriate term to use if you find yourself needing to refer to the situation in the future - and the suggestion is offered in that spirit.

**professor~yaffle**

non-marital child sounds a bit like he's had a marital one, and then one on the side :rotfl:

Guest101

Errata wrote: »

For goodness sake, the OP and the mother may have already discussed that scenario and come to an agreement about who best to look after the son.

Apologies i must've missed that 1.

Gloomendoom

Person_one wrote: »

I suspect you have a very specific mental image of me...

Not at all, but if the pants fit...

**professor~yaffle**

Gloomendoom wrote: »

Not at all, but if the pants fit...

:rotfl:

Frith

I read it as illegitimate scone.