Real-life MMD: Should I shop my brother over his scratchcard win?

124678

Comments

  • redglass_2
    redglass_2 Posts: 771 Forumite
    He didn't have to tell you, did he? Unless you were right there when he scratched the card. There's not just dishonesty at work here, there's manipulation and my advice (from bitter experience) is not to go along with it. You never know what twist will be given to the story in future: I have a family member who'd be quite capable of claiming he would have paid back the money but YOU told him not to. So don't play. ;)
    'Whatever you dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin now.' Goethe



  • pb8770
    pb8770 Posts: 47
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Forumite
    Well if he is meant to be hard up then what is he doing spending it on scratch cards, is this why I pay my taxes. I'd tell her because if it ever got out that you knew it could cause implications between you and your sister, even if he only paid half back its something rather than nothing, just proves he didn't want to repay it given the chance.
  • th999
    th999 Posts: 1 Newbie
    Tell him to pay it back with interest - eg check Zopa/other loan mechanisms for C borrowers for an appropriate rate

    Then tell him to reinvest the profit (into Zopa/whatever) and agree to split the interest received with his sister for the next 3 years (only a few quid but the principle stands)

    If the lesson is learnt in 10 years time he won't be borrowing money but could be taking the whole family on holiday where you can decide to tell her what he said over a beer at the beach if you want.
  • Jonahmaul
    Jonahmaul Posts: 20 Forumite
    I don't agree with people saying that he should offer some of it back then keep the rest. He has got the money for effectively free and he should pay her back in full before he starts spending, he will still be £200 up. As others have commented if he's unemployed and having to borrow money then why is he buying scratch cards. If he's splashing out with wins like this then perhaps he has a spending problem and it's most certainly not fair to your sister. Unfortunately you are caught in the middle of this because it is going to come out. I think you should advise your brother that either he tells your sister or you do. Perhaps your sister doesn't need the money that much and they can come to an arrangement but that is down to them, you shouldn't get caught in the middle of it because it will come out eventually.
  • Fujiko
    Fujiko Posts: 150 Forumite
    planetzog wrote: »
    I wouldn't start here. NEVER lend money to friends or realtives. If you're so minded, make it a gift, but never a loan.

    You are absolutely right, and I think this young man has to start taking responsibility. Unemployed he may be but presumably he is receiving some money from the state so my advice would be learn to live within your means, however difficult that may be. What did he borrow the £300 for? The thought of being in debt, particularly to a family member to whom I would feel a moral obligation, is about as bad as I can imagine, so there is only one answer to the question - he should take the opportunity to pay back the money he has borrowed and he will still have some left. As to telling your sister about his winnings, wouldn't it be natural to say to her something on the lines of "Isn't it wonderful that Charlie - or whatever his name is - has had a win on a scratchcard" without offering an opinion on whether he should pay her back, and then it is up to her to contact him or not as she chooses?
  • akbrooker
    akbrooker Posts: 18
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Forumite
    He clearly feels that not telling your sister and holding on to the money is wrong, and he wants you to justify this dishonesty (what else is it?) by telling you and so making you complicit in his keeping the money. If he hasn't told your sister and would like you to keep quiet, why tell you at all?.
  • crogers
    crogers Posts: 16 Forumite
    This is a bit of a no brainer really! Of course he should pay her back! If he owes her, then he can clear the debt & still have enough to splash out. If you don't want to tell her, then I think you should really lean on him to do the right thing, as if the tables were turned, I'm sure you'd want to know!

    Absolutely!!
    Ask him how he would feel if it was the other way round-honestly?
  • bargainbetty
    bargainbetty Posts: 3,455
    Photogenic Name Dropper First Anniversary First Post
    Forumite
    I have a little perspective on this. I had loaned money to a friend. Another mate of his offered to pay his stake into a poker game as a birthday present (it was £20, and this guy can play pretty well). He ended up winning a £280 pot. I found out by accident, when a mutual friend mentioned it in front of me, not knowing that I was owed money. He had laughingly suggested the poker player treat us to a takeaway 'from his winnings' as we have been helping him sort his flat out for a move.

    I was then faced with a shame-faced rambling apology and the handing over of the money I was owed from his winnings. I was very hurt that he had withheld it from me, and felt quite deceived. He had asked me to wait a couple of weeks longer, knowing he had the money in his pocket.

    Tell your brother he owes your sister the money, and needs to stump up. It's not his money. £300 of it is hers. He has the rest to play with. Advise him that you will not keep it from her, because you won't lie for him. That is manipulation, and it's no good in a family.
    Some days, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps....
    LB moment - March 2006. DFD - 1 June 2012!!! DEBT FREE!



    May grocery challenge £45.61/£120
  • Having been stung by 'lending' money to family myself (!), I would ask whether:

    a. Sister 'lent' him the money with no expectation that it would ever be repaid;
    OR
    b. Sister lent him the money in good faith, expecting it to be paid back at some time in the future and in the same good faith?

    Maybe she would tell you which it was if you asked her. If it was a loan and not a gift, then she deserves to have at least a downpayment made out of this windfall. Though I would say the full amount was payable after a year, tut.

    You leave your sister open to 'being taken for a fool' again in the future if he decides he ever wants to borrow again; which he may well do seeing as he seems intent on blowing this money rather that save it for those rainy days of unemployment.
  • Yes tell her £300 is a lot of money
    "what lies behind us & what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us" Ralph Waldo Emerson
This discussion has been closed.
Meet your Ambassadors

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 342.5K Banking & Borrowing
  • 249.9K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 449.4K Spending & Discounts
  • 234.6K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 607.1K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 172.8K Life & Family
  • 247.4K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 15.8K Discuss & Feedback
  • 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards