Real-life MMD: Should I shop my brother over his scratchcard win?

kittymott

Tell him that if he does not offer her the money you will tell her he has it. That way he may not hold it against you! If you tell her yourself behind his back, he will get mad. The sister probably works to earn her money the same as everyone else and was understanding enough to lend him the money in the first place. Count up how long she has to work to actually save that amount, not earn it. Has the brother the right to take that time from her life? Bit extreme I suppose but that was how I survived the downturn in my finances...did I want it enough to use up that amount of time? He should be able to have a good enough splash out with the remaining £200 and should the need ever arise to borrow again from his sister, he can approach her with a reasonable chance of an affirmative answer.

florere

Of course he should pay it back, I think you should lean on him, threaten to tell your sister if necessary, but don't actually do it, it could lead to a family feud. I cannot think why he thinks it's OK to have fun with this money when he is in debt.




Ashagill, I think you have a very wise father

Augustus_the_Strong

Of course he should pay your sister the money she's loaned him, and everyone should be open about everything. But in reality this is unlikely to happen. Your sister needs to know that he's had enough money to pay her back but hasn't done so, so that she won't be persuaded to lend him any more in the future.

I think the idea of demanding £300 to keep quiet is a great one.

bye_bye_band_G

No you shouldn't tell her. Of course he should pay her back and lean on him as much as you can to do so, but at the end of all that, if he still won't pay her now you have to step out of it. If someone tells you a secret, no matter how much you disapprove, you have to keep that secret, unless it's illegal. If you don't, you will be seen as someone who can't be trusted to keep a secret (by your sister too, actually), and that's not a nice label to carry round with you.

louisajoyce

If we are not there to guide and advise our family, who will? Should you tell your sister - maybe not at first, you don't want to row with your brother, but you should certainly guilt trip him into paying it back. Make sure he knows that she was there for him in his time of need and not paying her back would be disrespectful and disloyal. And tell him if he doesn't pay it back who does he think he will be able to ask next time he is in trouble - your sister will be far more likely to lend again if she got it back before without too much trouble! Talk up the fact that he is £200 up and to be happy with that! If all else fails, tell him you are going to tell your sister and he will be forced to confess first!

pennypinchUK

I suspect your phrase "splash out" is an emotive one - it might be instrumental if we were told what he wants to "splash out" on. But of course, he should pay your sister back. She's going to realise he's had a windfall when she sees him buying stuff. You should let her know before he spends the money. You never know, she might be fine about it and not expect the money back until he's working. But I doubt it....

JeremyCH

From painful and persoanl experience he needs to tell your sister as she will find out sooner or later and then the thingy will really hit the fan. You need to tell him that if he doesn't, you will. I don't know your sister's circumstances but she made need the money as much as he does and, he never knows, there is a possibility that she will say 'don't worry about it', in which case result.

vbm

Of course he should pay her back.

However if he is umemployed and still buying scratch cards he is beyond help.

onesixfive

He knows he should pay her - otherwise he wouldnt have asked you to keep quiet about the win.
Tell him he has x-number of days to pay her back (or at least offer her part of the winnings in part-payback), otherwise you will/may tell her.
If he can afford to buy scratchcards then she should question why she hasnt been paid back earlier.

hellienellie

If you need to post this question you know what the answer is ! It sounds as though your brother is dishonest and do you really think he would think twice about treating you the same way ? It's a shame your generous sister could be used so shabily . I would speak to him and hope he will face up to his responsibility .