Is it fair for me to have another baby?!

catkins

bella2121 wrote: »

I don't think I've ever heard anyone say they regret having there children but plenty who regret not having them

Xx

I know lots of people who say if they could go back in time they would not have children even though they love their children. A lot of people blame children on their marriage breaking down.

I actually don't know anyone who says they regret not having children. Me and OH certainly don't regret deciding not to have any

jellyhead

Spendless wrote: »

Space and the cost of a 3rd child were amongst the reasons I never went ahead with it, but not the only reasons health and social reasons played a part too.

I do agree with the comments about how society is geared up to a 4 person family. My friend with 3 kids wants to go on holiday to the same place as me next year (not at the same time) but what she is finding availability wise is very much restricted to what she books compared to what I could look at as a family of four. Even things like some brands of food are packaged in 4s, which was something I'd never even thought about till another friend also with 3 kids was talking about how they never bought x brand food item because of it. Think about things like 3x the cost of everything eg 3 x travel fares once they all get to Secondary school/college age. Trip to funfair 3 x cost and so on. Would you fit 3 car seats into your current car? There's been loads of threads asking about this.

On the plus side you are both working in relatively safe jobs and it doesn't sound as though your current house situation would be forever.

I've had to rethink meals now that we have a 5th person to feed. Many meals can be spread further by the addition of an extra item, but it took me a while to remember to buy a bigger chicken, more carrots etc. and a lot of things such as salmon portions are packaged for 2 or 4 people.

Our car's okay because only one child needs a car seat, but we can't fit 3 in at the same time when we've tried (when taking youngest's friends out, for example).

Also, our small 2-bed house only has room for a small kitchen table to seat 4. We had to remove a door in order to fit that in, and it's too small for the 5th person to perch at the end of it, so one of us eats on a bar stool at the kitchen worktop.

We only have 4 radiators and a rotary washing line, so drying clothes for an extra person is a struggle when it rains. The clothes horse has to go in the bedroom.

These are things that a person with an average 3-bed wouldn't need to think about, but some 2-beds are teeny and don't have much downstairs space.

neverdespairgirl

I only have one, but I'm the eldest of 4 children, 3 girls and a boy.

There are 7 years between the eldest and youngest - I was 7 when my bruv was born. My sisters are 2 and 6 years younger than I am.

My mother has told me before that for her and Dad, the decision was to have 2 or 4, not 2 or 3 - that in deciding to have a third, they were deciding to have 4, as they thought that an elder pair, a gap, and then a younger one wouldn't work out well.

I loved having 3 siblings, and I still get on very well with all of them.

ciderwithrosie_2

We brought up 3 kids in a 2 bed house - infact they're all still here!! Luckily they were all boys and could share. The only time it was a problem was when they were all little and trying to get them to settle down at night... But all things come to pass!

The only other thing is I wish I could have got pregnant with DS3 sooner (took longer than we hoped). There's 17 months between my oldest 2, but 3 years 5 months between 2nd and 3rd. He's always been a bit left out as the older ones are so close and know the same people, like the same things, sports etc and he isn't sporty at all - prefering art and performing. They don't fall out or anything just don't mix in the same circles.

onlyroz

Do you just want a little baby to hold, or do you actually want another child?