Is it fair for me to have another baby?!

Threebabes

You manage with what you have got. I have a 17, 13 & 9 year old and we live in a very average 3 bed house. We manage fine with the space, we keep the place tidy, everything has its place.

I cant imagine our lives without our no 3. Shes lovely and from being born had to slot into our lives with having the older 2, so was never any bother. She slept through from 8 weeks so the broken sleep wasn't so much of an issue.

MrsE_2

notanewuser wrote: »

Watch a few episodes of "The Middle". You should never have so many kids that they outnumber the parents.

My frien thinks their 3 child was a major factor in her relationship breakdown.

Life & our society is geared to a family of 4.

Holidays, trips, days out, everything is geared towards a family of 4.

DKLS

notanewuser wrote: »

Oh, I have.

Me two and a couple of them have really surprised me, when they stated if they had their time again they would choose to not have children. One of them was the classic earth mother type! :eek:

FatVonD

MrsE wrote: »

Life & our society is geared to a family of 4.

Holidays, trips, days out, everything is geared towards a family of 4.

Totally agree with this, the third is the most expensive. One extra ticket at full price on family days out. Extra room on package holidays. Bigger car and, at some point, a bigger house.

kwmlondon

I'd say go for it! If your kids are happy and you're all sharing a great time and you think you can cope with another then I'd say share the love. Just have a few emergency coping plans in case, say, your third child is a girl. This will be okay for a couple of years but you'll need to get a bigger place when the boys become teenagers, it's only fair.

But as far as a family of 5 goes? You sound like a responsible person who actually thinks about these things so go for it.

From my own experience growing up in a poor family is no problem when you're younger, but when you become a teenager you become a bit more socially aware and sensitive. However, do you think that when your 3rd was about 5 or so you would want to do some part time work or even get the older boys to help out and take on a full time job?

My mother started her career when my sister and I were in secondary school, meant that by the time I went to university my parents were pretty well off, having spent my childhood in a pretty poor household, but I never went short of love or attention so I think I had the best childhood ever!

Dunroamin

What happens if you have a third child and then, 2 years later, you decide you want a fourth?

Idiophreak

Dunroamin wrote: »

What happens if you have a third child and then, 2 years later, you decide you want a fourth?

....another thread?

mcja

At the moment, I feel the same as OP, but my circumstances are slightly different. We have a decent sized 3 bed with potential (but no money) to extend into the loft/over garage. I would love another baby (mine are 8 and 6) BUT we have just enough money each month, a lovely holiday booked for next summer, days out planned and I don't feel a baby would fit into our life now.
I didn't feel like this when mine were littler but OP I don't know if the feelings go, common sense just becomes harder to argue with!!!

It does look blooming hard work with 3 kids.

POPPYOSCAR

We had two but if I had my time again we would have had another one.

If it is what you really want then I would say go for it

Spendless

Space and the cost of a 3rd child were amongst the reasons I never went ahead with it, but not the only reasons health and social reasons played a part too.

I do agree with the comments about how society is geared up to a 4 person family. My friend with 3 kids wants to go on holiday to the same place as me next year (not at the same time) but what she is finding availability wise is very much restricted to what she books compared to what I could look at as a family of four. Even things like some brands of food are packaged in 4s, which was something I'd never even thought about till another friend also with 3 kids was talking about how they never bought x brand food item because of it. Think about things like 3x the cost of everything eg 3 x travel fares once they all get to Secondary school/college age. Trip to funfair 3 x cost and so on. Would you fit 3 car seats into your current car? There's been loads of threads asking about this.

On the plus side you are both working in relatively safe jobs and it doesn't sound as though your current house situation would be forever.