Are some mothers really so stupid?

coolcait

shellsuit wrote: »

I saw the Katy Perry Mum thing and think if she doesn't want her boy to get bullied, she needs to put her norks away and stop splashing themselves all over the rags. How embarrassing!

I don't disagree with your comments about "the baby on the bus" (we can all sing it in rounds :rotfl:).

However, quite a few posters - not just you - have suggested that the 'Katy Perry mum' is somehow to blame for her son being bullied.

I completely disagree with that.

The bullies - and only the bullies - are to blame for bullying.

In some cases you can also point the finger at the parents of the bullies - for example, if they have encouraged the attitudes which led to the bullying, or if they have done nothing to make their children aware that bullying is unacceptable.

I don't particularly agree with the mum's decision to go to the press, or to take part in the various photoshoots. It does come across as ill-advised and self-serving.

It still doesn't justify the bullying of a six-year old boy.

plumpmouse

I've mentioned this before on here but it applies to this thread as well.

It really is a cultural thing sometimes. Was the mother British?

Here in Scandinavia it is common to see babies left everywhere alone in their prams. Outside cafes, shops, school and houses. Babies here are put to sleep outside in their prams even when it is -15.

People think I am strange as my daughter slept in her cot inside and not outside where it is good for her!

I do recall a story of a Danish couple getting in trouble in New York for leaving their baby outside a cafe but they weren't charged as it was accepted that what was deemed unacceptable in USA was the norm in Denmark.

Having said all the above there is no way on earth I'd have done what the woman did on the bus.

valk_scot

I wouldn't leave a pram like that, my first thought would be that it might topple over as the bus went round a corner. Either that or very often these spaces are shared use with wheelchairs having priority over prams and I'd need to be there in case the space was needed by a disabled person. As to telling my two older kids they also had to sit downstairs well, I've never found that sort of thing any trouble at all tbh. It's the mums that let their kids get away with murder that get the most fuss when they have to say no.

LannieDuck

Wow. As others have said, I'm not sure I'd trust the pram to remain stationary and upright in one of my local buses. You get thrown around quite badly sometimes.

Big difference between that and leaving a child outside a cafe - for one thing, you can normally see the buggy from inside.

Plus if it's a little baby, what if they posset and start to choke, or get tangled up in their blanket, or one of the myriad of other things little babies can do which you want to keep an eye on them for? And that's ignoring the risk of someone deciding to walk off with the baby.

If something had happened, I'm sure she would have blamed the other passengers. If I'd been one of the other passengers, I wouldn't have wanted that responsibility thrust onto me either.

shellsuit

coolcait wrote: »

I don't disagree with your comments about "the baby on the bus" (we can all sing it in rounds :rotfl:).

However, quite a few posters - not just you - have suggested that the 'Katy Perry mum' is somehow to blame for her son being bullied.

I completely disagree with that.

The bullies - and only the bullies - are to blame for bullying.

In some cases you can also point the finger at the parents of the bullies - for example, if they have encouraged the attitudes which led to the bullying, or if they have done nothing to make their children aware that bullying is unacceptable.

I don't particularly agree with the mum's decision to go to the press, or to take part in the various photoshoots. It does come across as ill-advised and self-serving.

It still doesn't justify the bullying of a six-year old boy.

I'm with you, sorry, I should have phrased my post better to say it doesn't help the lad having her go to the papers...not that it's her fault he gets bullied, because I don't think that at all.

If that's how she dresses and that's how she earns a living, then that's upto her. I know parents at schools who dress much worse than that!

I just can't think of anything worse than running to the papers and having it splashed all over them, because now the poor lad will grow up having everyone know his Mum is the one from the paper who thinks she looks like Katy Perry and has her boobage out at every photo opportunity.

Dunroamin

plumpmouse wrote: »

I've mentioned this before on here but it applies to this thread as well.

It really is a cultural thing sometimes. Was the mother British?

Here in Scandinavia it is common to see babies left everywhere alone in their prams. Outside cafes, shops, school and houses. Babies here are put to sleep outside in their prams even when it is -15.

People think I am strange as my daughter slept in her cot inside and not outside where it is good for her!

I do recall a story of a Danish couple getting in trouble in New York for leaving their baby outside a cafe but they weren't charged as it was accepted that what was deemed unacceptable in USA was the norm in Denmark.

Having said all the above there is no way on earth I'd have done what the woman did on the bus.

It's a recent cultural thing.

It used to be perfectly normal to do all the things that you mention and then,
somewhere along the line, we became paranoid about the risks involved.

Hopefully, somewhere in the future, we might be able to get back to normal, but sometimes I doubt it.:(

Georgiegirl256

coolcait wrote: »

Prevailing theories may well be correct. We can't really call them 'fact' until a trial has been held, and a verdict delivered.

It is a fact that the parents have made statements acknowledging BiB.

There have definitely been instances where a child has been abducted by someone they did not know at all. Or who was unknown to the child's family.

Nevertheless, it is much more common that the abductor is known to the child/the child's family. Or that the abductor is a member of the child's family.

There is a risk that a stranger could abduct an unattended baby from a bus. However, it's a fairly low risk compared to the other risks.

It's still a phenomenally stupid and irresponsible thing to do.

And it does raise the question - as others have pointed out - 'if she see nothing wrong with leaving her baby unattended in that situation, what else is she doing with/to the baby when there are no witnesses?'

Agreed What does BiB mean btw?

Janepig

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

The boys who abducted and killed Jamie Bulger, the person who abducted Madelline McGann to name but 3. I'm sure there are many more too.

You're scraping the barrel if you're resorting to mentioning the Portugese case (I'm not risking PPR by mentioning the name!!). Apart from anything else it wasn't even in this country!! Not to mention that we don't know who was responsible for her disappearance, so it could be someone she knew. Sarah Payne is another one as mentioned, so is Millie Dowler. However both of them (particularly Millie) were old enough to be out unsupervised.

Awful as those cases are, you can't even begin to compare the risk to your children from a random bogeyman as you can from people they know. You read about cases in the newspaper, particularly sex abuse cases, where of course the victim's details are (rightly) not reported, which may lead you to believe that they are strangers to the perpetrator. As someone who has dealt with these sorts of cases (amongst others) for the last eleven years, I can tell you it is rarely, if ever, the case.

Jx

Georgiegirl256

Janepig wrote: »

You're scraping the barrel if you're resorting to mentioning the Portugese case (I'm not risking PPR by mentioning the name!!). Apart from anything else it wasn't even in this country!! Not to mention that we don't know who was responsible for her disappearance, so it could be someone she knew. Sarah Payne is another one as mentioned, so is Millie Dowler. However both of them (particularly Millie) were old enough to be out unsupervised.

Awful as those cases are, you can't even begin to compare the risk to your children from a random bogeyman as you can from people they know. You read about cases in the newspaper, particularly sex abuse cases, where of course the victim's details are (rightly) not reported, which may lead you to believe that they are strangers to the perpetrator. As someone who has dealt with these sorts of cases (amongst others) for the last eleven years, I can tell you it is rarely, if ever, the case.

Jx

You said you were struggling to think of more than one or two cases, I can easily think of more than that.

I know where you are coming from in respect that the abducter/murderer etc is usually known to the victim etc, I agree, this is true. However, I repeat my question, I still wouldn't feel comfortable leaving my child unattended or with asking some stranger to look after it while I went upstairs etc....would you?

It might 'rarely be the case', but on the odd occasion it can be, and I just couldn't live with myself. I don't think "Well he/she looked like a lovely person and I thought I could trust them" would wash, do you?

tesuhoha

shellsuit wrote: »

I'm with you, sorry, I should have phrased my post better to say it doesn't help the lad having her go to the papers...not that it's her fault he gets bullied, because I don't think that at all.

If that's how she dresses and that's how she earns a living, then that's upto her. I know parents at schools who dress much worse than that!

I just can't think of anything worse than running to the papers and having it splashed all over them, because now the poor lad will grow up having everyone know his Mum is the one from the paper who thinks she looks like Katy Perry and has her boobage out at every photo opportunity.

I'm not blaming the mother either for her son being bullied. She is not responsible. However I don't think exposing him to the media and even worse at the same time having all her assets blatantly on display is going to help his situation. After all she is supposed to be trying to help him but in the local paper all that is happening is that lewd comments about her knockers are appearing under the article.

To the people who say she looks fine, she can wear anything she likes but why bring the son into it? It looks like a sexual pose to me on the kentonline article. She might be covered, but only just.