The Ultimate Incentive part 10. The only thing holding you back is you.

poddle911

That's better - a nice, chatty thread! hello all :wave:

Really brill to hear you sounding so positive Dinah I think it's lovely that you have the chance to spend so much time in a Grace bubble - make the most of it! And if/when you do decide to give her a little brother or sister, you'll be amazing parents to both of them - just as CMD says.

Welcome back from honeymoon, Shrimpy! Glad you had a fab time away, and the wedding looked BEEYOOTIFUL

Good luck for the bake off, Birdie!

Dinah93

Good luck today Birdie x

Flower08

Unfortunatly thats not unusual with regards to not having days off together
Now that I have started maternity leave OH and I obviously see a lot more of each other, but we had months of just being like ships passing and swapping childcare duties (made even more difficult with OH having to swap between day and night shifts).
Two weeks away as a family sounds blissful to a lot of people I am sure but sometimes grabbing odd days together here and there is often more realistic.
Keep an eye out in local papers etc for days out. We took DS to the zoo last week, there was a 2 for 1 voucher in the paper and DS was free, we took a picnic with us and had a fab day. All in all the whole day probably cost no more than £20.

Birdie85

I don't think there's anything wrong with saying that you want to go on holiday more for your sakes than Grace's! Just because you're parents now doesn't mean you have to stop being Dinah and NIM and *everything* you do has to be for Grace. We've been talking about getting away next year as even though we'll have a baby with us who won't remember a thing, we'll enjoy it and remember it!

Sounds like you've been having a manic August CMD!

My cake is a little dry today so no chance of it being a winner Damn it, I should have entered yesterday's cake!

As for ships passing in the night, OH have been like that forever! I don't know if that's going to get better or worse once I go back to work after maternity leave. OH is thinking about cutting down his hours and doing 6-Midnight so we're totally self-sufficient for childcare (just have to figure out the finances behind this bright idea to see if it works out), so I'll be getting home, doing a quick handover and he'll be setting off to work. Seems OK in theory but if he thinks I'm waiting up to see him when he gets home from work he's going to be surprised, especially as I'll be starting work earlier in order to finish earlier so I'll be wanting every scrap of sleep I can get!

Flower08

Birdie85 wrote: »

I don't think there's anything wrong with saying that you want to go on holiday more for your sakes than Grace's! Just because you're parents now doesn't mean you have to stop being Dinah and NIM and *everything* you do has to be for Grace. We've been talking about getting away next year as even though we'll have a baby with us who won't remember a thing, we'll enjoy it and remember it!

Of course nothing wrong with wanting a holiday at all! OH and I would love to go away on a 'proper' holiday. We haven't been abroad for at least 4 years (probably longer, cant remember off the top of my head), but a holiday is a luxury not essential and when we have debt to pay off we have to be grateful for the cheap UK holidays.

Dinah93

Sorry to hear todays cake isn't up to scratch, but you never know, maybe you're just too critical of it.

Will you still have weekends together? I think it's nice to try to do it between you if you can, both form a close bond with the baby rather than it having an attachment issue to one parent or the other. Grace clings to me like a limpet on a morning, but shes happy enough with NIM once I'm gone. The cost of childcare might well be more than what you'll loose in wages anyway, although wasn't his mum giving up work to help out? Maybe the best scenario would be if he could work say 3pm-midnight and she could watch the little one 3-5 or 6 or whenever you finish work for a couple of hours. Full wages still and both have plenty of time with your LO.

Just a suggestion but go somewhere local? Maybe a self catering place in the lakes or something? Even at a year old getting on a plane with Grace was a nightmare just down to the ammount of stuff she needed, I couldn't imagine doing it younger. A few of my friends did though and without exception they came back saying they wouldn't do it again so early as it was anything but relaxing. We only took her to Rye and Northumberland, Rye was okay as we had mum and dad so we actually got a little bit of time off and a lie in, extra hands to get her ready for days out, although the car journey was hellish, we had to stop every 60-90 minutes to feed her and change her, and she hates the car so if she wasnt sleeping she just screamed for the entire journey. Northumberland without mum and dad I wouldn't do again, packing up the car with all her crap, lugging it up, setting it up, only to have teh same exhausting routine as home, we didn't even get out for dinner where we usually go out all day and then for a bar meal or restaurant at night. Taking her out during the day was okay but stupidly we went for a walk on the beach, where she pooed, and we couldn't get back to the car to change her and it was blowing a gale so no beach change so she just screamed for half an hour till we could get somewhere where we could change her bum and it was sheltered enough to feed her. When she was little as well it was hard as she went to bed early so we couldn't go anywere after 6, I'm really not a mum who lives her life according to the Gods Of Nap, but I quickly learnt not to mess with bedtime because she'd wake all night, or just be so unsettled she grumped all day the next day. Not trying to put you off but wait until you've settled into a routine before you consider booking anywhere, and if you do want to go abroad definately try a weekend somewhere local first to see what you need to take and if it'll be as relaxing as you hoped.

Dinah93

Daft thing is Flower the 'cheap' UK holidays have always ended up costing us more! Going to Rye for my cousin's wedding cost us over £2k for the week between accomodation, fuel and food. Granted there was a wedding in there so we probably had more drinks out than usual, but we didn't eat out most evenings, we did have ice creams or a scone most days to balance it out I guess. It was just the fuel and accomodation crippled us. I do like the UK, but it gauls me to go local for the same money as going somewhere new when there is a whole world I'm desperate to explore.

Birdie85

I agree, the UK can be just as expensive as abroad for a holiday! Next year OH is going on a stag do to Spain for 3 days/2 nights and it'll probably cost him about £300 all in, for the hen do we're going to Alton Towers and 'glamping' and it'll probably end up costing a similar amount. I can tell you which 'do' I'd rather be on! Crazy. I probably won't even go anyway, baby will only be 3 months old at that point, but even without that reason I'd be having a hard think about it as that is bloody expensive for a weekend in soggy Britain!

As for holidays with baby, we're going to play it by ear. We know it'll be awkward so we're going to have long weekends away before booking anything further. We may be lucky and have an easy baby to travel with, but we know we may also have a nightmare child who doesn't stop crying in the car so there's no point trying them on a plane!

Luckily OH and I will still have weekends together so that's a definite plus. MIL has actually quit her job now (not due to us, she's been having problems with her employer anyway) so would be available for care but has applied for bank work with care homes so her free time won't be stable once work starts coming in. OH doesn't want to be a burden on anyone either, my Mum and his Mum have both offered to babysit at least one day a week but OH hates the thought of it becoming a chore for either of them and then doesn't want to be in the position of being stuck when they're unavailable. I see it from both sides. I know it's important for grandparents to have a good relationship with our child but I also don't want to have to rely on family for help and find ourselves up a creek when they're away or ill. Like I said, we need to look at the financial side of it and decide if it's worthwhile and if the drop in wages will take us any closer to qualifying for WTC.

Cinny91

Dinah93 wrote: »

You're right though, I happy atm. I wish I could kick our finances into shape but otherwise I have everything I could want.

SOA! I've been working our new budget on the Dave Ramsey system and it's pretty sweet. I've managed to save almost £600 in 2 weeks so it must be doing something right My problem is wandering off track.

That's what OH and I were like last Winter/Spring. Absolutely hated it but things have a way of coming up in your favor in the end

Can't believe you spent 2k on an English holiday :eek: The most we ever spent was £700, but we did spend £450 on a swanky lodge!

Still keeping my fingers crossed on the cake for you, Birdie!

Flower08

Cinny91 wrote: »

Can't believe you spent 2k on an English holiday :eek: The most we ever spent was £700, but we did spend £450 on a swanky lodge!

That was my thoughts exactly :eek: We had a week in Devon last month and I would guess that at the most we probably spent around £650 - £700 including fuel to get there and back, days out etc.
We usually have cheap/free days out at beach, walks in country etc, but I also spend the few weeks before looking for vouchers for attractions in the local area.
We rarely eat out of evenings when away because Noah gets very grumpy if hes up past his usual bedtime. I usually arrange a supermarket delivery for the day we arrive so we have stuff for breakfasts and dinners, then we have a cheap lunch out somewhere.