etiquette at family homes

Gavin83

peachyprice wrote: »

In your own home yes, but why would you want to bare a personal part of your body in another person's home? Would you sit on their sofa with a bare tush?

Getting your feet out and getting your bum out is not quite the same is it?

Personally I don't see the feet as a personal part of the body that you need to keep covered up. I wouldn't consider it anymore personal than your hands for example.

I normally have my feet out at home (I don't like wearing shoes or socks) and I do Muay Thai (strictly no shoes or socks) so maybe being used to having my feet out around others has led to my opinion.

Pechow

I had no idea the shoes on/off was such a heated topic.

Those who are against "imposing" any rules on visitors, for whatever reason/s, what do you think if the rules are to do with animals? Still a no, or acceptable?

lostinrates

Gavin83 wrote: »

Getting your feet out and getting your bum out is not quite the same is it?

Personally I don't see the feet as a personal part of the body that you need to keep covered up. I wouldn't consider it anymore personal than your hands for example.

I normally have my feet out at home (I don't like wearing shoes or socks) and I do Muay Thai (strictly no shoes or socks) so maybe being used to having my feet out around others has led to my opinion.

Personally I don't see feet as much of an issue, but I do find the shoes off thing annoying. (And I used to be almost completely show free at one time).

We're not quite nudists, but I also don't see bottoms as that 'private' so long as they are doing nothing private at the time. But just as I don't expect my guests to remove their shoes I let them keep their pants on.

Tbh if my guests have healthy feet and a towel they are also pretty welcome to be shoeless, and presuming no one offended by it is also visiting they could strip for all I care.

lostinrates

Pechow wrote: »

I had no idea the shoes on/off was such a heated topic.

Those who are against "imposing" any rules on visitors, for whatever reason/s, what do you think if the rules are to do with animals? Still a no, or acceptable?

I 'protect' guests from my pets and my pets from guests. I would expect to abide my parents wishes for their children, whether they were in my house or I in theirs. So, I would not feed candy to kids not allowed sweets. Personally I also think most domestic animals and children do well to learn people are different and that they need to be accepting of this and hospitable while maintaining their own standards.

E.g. We never feed the dogs tit bits from the table. Or at all really, they go in the food bowls. However if guests asked if they could give a treat I would say fine, and ask them to do it away from the table. . I expect my dogs not to lunge at a plate offered to them at a table because its their rule from me and a guest might not know this.

Expect and achieve those expectations may well be different in practise:D

tayforth

herand wrote: »

Why would you keep outdoor shoes on whilst indoors? The idea of wearing shoes in the house just seems abnormal to me as growing uo we were always encouraged to go barefoot as much as possible.

Wearing shoes all day isn't the best for your foot health and you are trampling all the outside dirt indoors.

I love to be barefoot, and always take off my shoes when I get home. But that's for my own comfort.


I would never ask a guest to remove their shoes! My friends are more important to me than my carpets


Incidentally, one of my friends always brings her big fluffy slippers with her when she visits me, and changes into them. I love that

fawd1

well, I don't really have many rules. Smoking only in the kitchen with door open (unless the kids are away, then wherever they fancy, I'll air it out later). And no drugs, ever. I just have a deep distrust of them and more importantly I couldn't trust that someone who decided to smoke something would remember to clear up after themselves.

The no shoes rule I find a bit weird to be honest. I never had to take my shoes off in my house growing up so that's probably it. I may be flamed for this, but my mum (who was, shall we say, upper class in her background) always used to say that it was not the done thing to ask people to remove their shoes. When I asked her why she thought that she said that as she understood it, from a class perspective, asking someone to remove their shoes signified that they placed their own belonging above the comfort of their guests, and under any circumstances with guests you would always grin and bear it. Plus, even worse, it signified that you didn't have a maid to clean up after you. This was a long time ago mind, before anyone gets funny. My mum had live in staff all her life until she left home (she's 65 now) I've never had live in staff of any kind. My mum only got a cleaner for the first time once a week when she turned 60, but despite this she still never made anyone take off their shoes!

Pixiechic

*max* wrote: »

Anyone I consider enough of a friend to invite to my place is free to do as they please, and I wouldn't expect them to do anything inappropriate anyway (being friends!).

Short of them whipping out a drugs kit or having a dirty fumble on my bed, I don't see what would annoy me enough to make me start having "rules".

:rotfl: :rotfl:

lostinrates

fawd1 wrote: »

well, I don't really have many rules. Smoking only in the kitchen with door open (unless the kids are away, then wherever they fancy, I'll air it out later). And no drugs, ever. I just have a deep distrust of them and more importantly I couldn't trust that someone who decided to smoke something would remember to clear up after themselves.

The no shoes rule I find a bit weird to be honest. I never had to take my shoes off in my house growing up so that's probably it. I may be flamed for this, but my mum (who was, shall we say, upper class in her background) always used to say that it was not the done thing to ask people to remove their shoes. When I asked her why she thought that she said that as she understood it, from a class perspective, asking someone to remove their shoes signified that they placed their own belonging above the comfort of their guests, and under any circumstances with guests you would always grin and bear it. Plus, even worse, it signified that you didn't have a maid to clean up after you. This was a long time ago mind, before anyone gets funny. My mum had live in staff all her life until she left home (she's 65 now) I've never had live in staff of any kind. My mum only got a cleaner for the first time once a week when she turned 60, but despite this she still never made anyone take off their shoes!

I don't think its that's long ago fwiw, its sort of how I feel and was brought up was correct in this country and I certainly know many who frown upon it for just those reasons.. They are not my personal reasons however.

MrsE_2

No smoking, no shoes upstairs or if sitting on the sofa (because although downstairs is all hard flooring, there is a white rug between the sofas).
Meals at the table, coasters for plates & classes/mugs.
No food or drink (other than water) upstairs.

That's all I think

neverdespairgirl

fluffymuffy wrote: »

I don't know anyone who would consider wearing shoes in a house. Is this a Cultural thing? I would be insulted if someone wore their shoes in my house. Actually they wouldn't get past the front door. It's not really a my-house-my-rules thing. It's just normal, polite behaviour.

I don't see that as normal, polite behaviour.

I don't know anyone who insists on shoes-off-at-the-door, nor can I think of any of my friends who appear to mind shoes in any part of the house, including upstairs.

My Dad gets positively irritated at people in bare feet or socks-only in his house!