Elderly parents and mobile phones - getting them to use or at least call

[Deleted User]

tyllwyd wrote: »

When I read this, I can't help wondering if the problem is not really the mobile phone use (or non-use). Apologies in advance if I am way off the mark, because obviously I have never met your father, but when you say that it sounds more as if the problem is that he is starting to get slightly confused as he gets older. He should be able to understand that you might not always answer the phone, so if he is obsessively ringing and becoming distressed, that sounds like a possible symptom of other issues. That doesn't solve the actual problem, but maybe you need to shift the way you are thinking about it slightly.

Maybe. Of course, that is a bit worrying. I must admit it is strange for him to get in a state because he cant reach me.

Hes told me that if I dont answer he assumes something bad has happened. Not right surely.

Which is why I want to get him to ring mymobile so hes all happy then.

Torry_Quine

[quote=[Deleted User];61457773]Maybe. Of course, that is a bit worrying. I must admit it is strange for him to get in a state because he cant reach me.

Hes told me that if I dont answer he assumes something bad has happened. Not right surely.

Which is why I want to get him to ring mymobile so hes all happy then.[/QUOTE]

Is he phoning you at home during work hours and geting worked up at not reaching you? If so then does he not realise that you will be at work?

Personally I would never call someone at work unless an emergency situation and even then it wouldn't be on their mobile unless they are away from work base as I wouldn't expect mobiles to be on in work hours.

Errata

[quote=[Deleted User];61457773]Maybe. Of course, that is a bit worrying. I must admit it is strange for him to get in a state because he cant reach me.

Hes told me that if I dont answer he assumes something bad has happened. Not right surely.

Which is why I want to get him to ring mymobile so hes all happy then.[/QUOTE]
If this is a relatively new thing you may be correct in thinking his unfounded and excessive fears are not right and coupled with his age and his need to be shown how simple things work when you were on holiday may be an indication that all is not right with his world.
It might be worth you having a serious and honest think about whether any of his other behaviours have changed to any significant degree and take whatever action would seem to be appropriate.

claire16c

Oh wow I remember the washing machine thread from before!

Does he do that now? As if not, who has been washing his clothes since the post about that?

All I can suggest you do, is tell him your landline is not working anymore, and your mobile number is your new number and can be used anytime of the day. Then ignore it if he calls the landline until he gets the message.

My Nan is 87 and texts!

daisiegg

Could any of this be to do with the fact that it costs a lot more to phone a mobile than a land-line?

I know my grandparents will NEVER phone a mobile. They think it will cost them an absolute fortune. They also fret when people don't answer the phone. If they phone my home and I don't pick up, and it's a time when they think I should be home, they will immediately phone my mum to ask her if she knows where I am and worrying that something has happened to me!

They are funny about using mobile phones as well. I think it has to do with failing eyesight etc. They are certainly not funny about technology in general - my grandad (late 70s) has an iPad, is on Facebook, is an avid eBay-er, uses FaceTime a lot*, and loves his digital camera and flip camera. However, despite all this, he rarely if ever uses a mobile phone and just has never got to grips with them. I think it is an older people thing specific to mobile phones rather than to technology in general.

* don't get me started on how much FaceTime irritates me. I have turned it off on my ipad and told my grandparents it isn't working, because the number of times they have called me on it in the evening/morning when I am in pyjamas etc or not looking my best, and I have answered, only to have some random stranger's face pop up on the screen! 'Oh this is so and so from down the road/our old friend who is visiting from Cornwall/aunty Joan's carer's husband/the postman(!), we just wanted to show them how lovely you are!' Bless them, it is nice to be loved and that they want to show off their grandchildren, but still.....

Torry_Quine

daisiegg wrote: »

Could any of this be to do with the fact that it costs a lot more to phone a mobile than a land-line?

I know my grandparents will NEVER phone a mobile. They think it will cost them an absolute fortune. They also fret when people don't answer the phone. If they phone my home and I don't pick up, and it's a time when they think I should be home, they will immediately phone my mum to ask her if she knows where I am and worrying that something has happened to me!

They are funny about using mobile phones as well. I think it has to do with failing eyesight etc. They are certainly not funny about technology in general - my grandad (late 70s) has an iPad, is on Facebook, is an avid eBay-er, uses FaceTime a lot*, and loves his digital camera and flip camera. However, despite all this, he rarely if ever uses a mobile phone and just has never got to grips with them. I think it is an older people thing specific to mobile phones rather than to technology in general.
.

I am not in that age bracket and don't call mobiles unless essential due to the cost from either my home phone or mobile. I think that people who are on a contract can forget how expensive calls to mobiles are for the rest of us.

If I were to call my elderly relatives and get no answer when I expect them to be home then it is worrying.

mumps

CupOfChai wrote: »

I'm the same with touchscreen phones Savvy_Sue, and I'm only 28. For some reason they do not obey my hands!

I'm another one. Apparently with me it is because my hands are too dry, don't know if that would be the reason generally.

daisiegg

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I am not in that age bracket and don't call mobiles unless essential due to the cost from either my home phone or mobile. I think that people who are on a contract can forget how expensive calls to mobiles are for the rest of us.

If I were to call my elderly relatives and get no answer when I expect them to be home then it is worrying.

To be honest, I am the same about calling from my home phone. In fact I am loathe to make ANY calls from it as I have none included in my contract. I really only keep it so my grandparents can phone me on it! :rotfl:

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

My mother won't use or call mobiles either. Same thing - convinced a 30 second call will cost her about fifty quid. She nearly lost the plot when she saw a call she made to me had cost her over a pound; and refused point blank to ever call me again. Same way, my brother bought her a mobile phone, she used it once to let me know there was an emergency, then hung up and switched it off so I couldn't call her back, as she was certain that would cost her money as well.

It wasn't that she couldn't do it. She just didn't want to.


But strangely enough, she can manage the TV and PVR perfectly well, despite demanding I drew her idiot guides with pictures for every gadget whilst I was still living there.

KxMx

I am sorry you felt hurt over the issue and can see why you got upset. Sometimes people do things without thinking; or forget a step along the way, and don't set out to cause upset. But with someone attacking them I can see why they seemed to go on the defensive, just as your OH did for you when he saw you were upset.

Maybe if one of my grandparents criticised my choices (such as choosing fb to announce a pregnancy) and then took the moral high ground; I would be miffed too.

I lost both my granddads in a period of 6 months recently and if either of my Nans re-married for 15 years however nice he was he would in no way take the place of the granddads I have lost. That place includes authority to be critical of me!

I am also afraid if my Dad's wife had a go at me she would get one back; I am thrilled she makes him happy and as his wife I respect her as such but my mother she ain't.

Just because one side of the family does things one way, it shouldn't mean offence being taken when the other side doesn't dance to that particular tune.

I do think a nose has been cut off to spite a face here but I don't think it is GD's or her partner.

Sadly I fear you will be the one who will lose out when the lovely babies arrive, not GD over furniture.

Still, you are very sure you are fully in the right so I expect this post won't make any difference!